How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

Most of the people saying that they’re slim but love food, may still have a different mindset to an overweight person.

I don’t love food, in that I don’t like cooking and I don’t really care what I eat, and I’d be quite happy to eat a sandwich for dinner. But I love eating. I don’t care what I eat, it can be junk, healthy, cheese, fruit, biscuits, I don’t care.

I have been overweight but now I’m slim, as although I still have the urge to binge now and then, I really like being slim so I manage to restrict myself. If I snack all afternoon then I’ll miss dinner.

So I don’t think it’s as simple as liking food or eating. I do agree with the op that it is like a switch in the brain, depending on the how a person emotionally eats.

I know I automatically self regulate over a period of time.
e.g. a big meal out one day and then I just won't fancy much the next day. Not consciously.

I work from home. I cannot relate to those who say they could never do that because they'd be raiding the biscuit tin, or they ask me how I remain disciplined.

I cannot relate to those who say they can't keep chocolate or cakes in the house because they'll just eat them. Well, I'll eat them as well, but they're not calling out to me or anything.

I cannot relate to those who tell me "oooh you're naughty having a KitKat". Nope, I'm just having a KitKat.

I am genetically slim, I recognise that. I also exercise a lot.

Prezzo meal: the Light meal plus a coffee and mini desert is enough. I'm sure that's actually a reasonable meal, and that many of the Main meals are WAY over what you need for dinner, but portion sizes are bonkers in restaurants.

I'm told I'm slim often (though I don't like my body much). I don't really think about food till I'm hungry - and then something like a few biscuits would do but I have to force myself to think about eating a proper meal!
I have a sweet tooth, and do pig out occasionally ( a whole packet of jaffa cakes for example) but I don't really think about that unless I know it's there, so tend not to buy many snacky things.

I was thinking about lunch at breakfast. I’m now thinking about dinner having just eating lunch. I love food.

I’m a slim 6/8.

I have been at work since 9. So far I had a Starbucks flat white this morning (wasn’t really interested in their food options, nothing appealing) and then had a Pret filled baguette and mixed pot of fruit at lunch. I’ve also drunk about 1.5l of water so my stomach is pretty full.

I wouldn’t say that I have been particularly healthy, nor have I been starving/limiting myself - I have eaten exactly what I have been craving, it’s just that I’m genuinely not hungry to have anything else. No real thought has gone into it.

I think, as well, people's body and brain reacts differently to food.

The theory is that this, can start in the womb and childhood etc can be a big influence.

I've recently, middle of July, started a milkshake type diet. Because of this being low calorie I've given up processed carbs.

The difference in my hunger levels are huge. The medical explanation would be that I'm not spiking.

I think I've retrained myself out of the habit of eating and not relying on foods that obviously did me no good, hunger wise.

I used to think i was hungry if i didn't eat bread, but now when i calourie count it in, I'm starving.

I don't think that they traditional British diet suits everyone and you've got to work with your body, or accept being fat.

But going by the diet forum I'm on, it is mostly habit.

I was very slim until I broke my leg a few years ago (up to mid 40's)

Never had to give any thought to what I ate. Indeed, I didn't. I'm still very bored by food. Problem is now..after being laid up for weeks on end munching on crap just because that's all I had to do (normally I'm dead busy and don't really sit down) I put on 3 stone.

Leg is now fixed. 3 stone isn't. I'm still bored by food. Problem is now I don't actually eat enough! I've just loaded my fitness pal and on average I'm only consuming 900 calories a day - so I presume my body has gone into preservation mode.

It was obviously in preservation mode too when I was 9 stone!

I honestly don't understand how people can eat huge quantities of food, have take aways etc. Genuinely doesn't interest me. So I think it's this. I'm now in the anguish of having to eat way way more than I want to just to get my metabolism working again and get this excess weight shifted. Can't wait though because once i'm slim again i know that will be it.

I'm a small fat person. My daughter would be fat but concentrates on not being so. My son is a scrawny streak of ribs and bones. He gets little pleasure from eating, it's simply fuel to him, whereas she and I might drool over a cream cake, he wouldn't even notice it. I've just eaten half a pack of biscuits as I was very annoyed about something I couldn't resolve. Still can't resolve it but made me feel better. Only fat people do this I think.

Hi OP,

I'm sure slim people do think differently but not because they are more virtuous- just because their brain chemistry, hormones etc. are all on a different setting.

Satiety is controlled by hormones so whilst a slim person might be able to stop after a few bites of cake, an overweight person with inadequate Leptin (or leptin processing issue) would not feel full and would keep eating.

There have been studies done into satiety with 3-5 year olds who were given plates full of cakes and sweets. 1/3rd of them will not eat sweet food past the point of fullness, the rest will. In terms of survival it's good to eat in excess and store the calories for times of starvation; in terms of weight loss- not so much! I'm not really sure it's as much of a Psychological issue as a Physiological issue!

My friend says that she eats to live whereas I live to eat and I think that sums it up. If you don't attach an emotional element to food, and if you're not interested in cooking, then food is just a tool.

I'm slim but have had bulimia in the past so I don't count. I'm slim because I make myself put food down or limit myself. When I wasn't it was like an animal in my brain just compelling me to eat eat eat.

It’s well established that there is a genetic component to weight. Some people are just more inclined to over eat than others. It’s got nothing to do with enjoying food or not. It’s that some people will find it much harder than others to resist food when it is available.

I would suggest that people who are able to restrict their intake and stay slim relatively easily are not the same people who are being told strongly by their genes to eat and eat.

Fashion /Vanity slim is the kind of slim is whjch most normal people here call slim, a size 8 or 6, low body fat etc. Usually nott much muscle either, no muffin tops or fat bums

I'll admit that my desire to be slim is partly driven by vanity. I hate having a muffin top, saddlebags and a fat bum. It's more than just looks though, I hate the feel of it. Oh, and I have loads of muscle. I can deadlift my own bodyweight.

Just to add that I love cooking and I'm interested in food too.

I am a slim person, size 6-8. I think it is a mindset. I eat to live rather than live to eat.
I eat three main meals a day and do snack in between but my portion size isn't large, i was also very active prior pregnancy with weightlifting so saw food more as fuel for energy and muscle growth rather than a boredom breaker.

I eat to live rather than live to eat.

I don't either.

Don't do either

Some people are slim and eat a lot but naturally have a faster metabolism

I think you need to start exercising or going to the gym. Then you will feel it’s an absolute waste of time eating the same way, you will feel like you want the benefits from working out and that will change your mind frame.

Download my fitness pal app
And track your food to start making you realise what you’re eating

I'm slim. Naturally slim if I can use that expression. Small boned, 5'4". My mother is the same. Size 10 at nearly 70 years old with great legs so I think a lot of it is genes.

I'm usually an 8-10 in size but there were couple of times when I hit 14. Once when I moved abroad as an au pair and change of diet and boredom got me. Second time post partum
Absolutely hated it. Post partum I was exercising the moment I could ie. when GP confirmed all was well at 6 weeks.

The way I felt post partum did make me think though. I just don't like the feeling of extra flesh. It didn't feel like me. I prioritised exercise over sleep and rest. When DD would drop for a nap matter how I felt, I'd go and do 20 min high intensity exercise at least 5 times a week and rebooted my diet straight away. Whether it was positively inspired is another matter. Was there an anxiety there, a need to take control with my life feeling so out of control with my DD not being much of a sleeper? Very likely. But it felt good to see progress and feel fit again. I literally don't know any other way. My need to look certain way in clothes (love fashion) and to feel in control is higher than need to eat. Is that healthy in terms of mindset? Often asked myself this question. Also, I have a pretty healthy diet, always eat lots of veg and salads and there are never any sweets or biscuits in my house. Now I exercise 3-4 times a week, cycle and walk a lot. I avoid sugar. Don't eat chocolate bars because if I open one, I'll just eat the lot. I eat pizza once a six months and hate stuff like Dominoes. I'm a bit of a food snob actually and this also helps. I don't do huge quantities of anything.

I remember a judgy pants moment when I was out with a bunch of parents and there was a grandma there with one family. My DD was eating some Ella's Kitchen biscuits (you know, virtuous oaty no added sugar stuff) and sharing those with another kid. Her grandma came, perused the biscuits with a sad face and asked "I've got some chocolate digestives. They may like those more". The whole family was obese. I remember shuddering at the thought of my 18 month old eating chocolate covered digestives. Genuinely WTF? Up to that point that didn't even occur to me as an option because we don't eat that stuff in our house. I realise how awful and judgy it makes me sound and no doubt someone will turn up to tell me how my DD will be eating chocolate digestives by a truckload the moment she can because I deprived her but seeing the impact of poor diet on others is a big enough deterrent for me. The parent of the same child was complaining to me that his daughter won't eat any veg and it's beige food for her. He justified it as "we want to make her happy so give her what she wants like chips and spag bol and pizza". It made me think as I literally never have stuff like that at home so DD wouldn't have that as a choice.

Ex fat girl. I was a size 20 and now a 10/12. I keep a food diary daily, go to the gym 3 times a week and eat lovely healthy meals. I do have treats but within a limit. I set my own limits and do what works for me. I like what I see in the mirror and don't want that to change as I didn't like the old me so I've changed my ways

I honestly don't understand how people can eat huge quantities of food, have take aways etc.

I love a take away but the portions are huge. I always eat half, freeze half.

@Egghead68 Yes that’s what they say. The reality is that they don’t eat because they don’t want to put on weight, but for some reason it isn’t acceptable to say that.
Most slim people are making a conscious sustained effort with their diet, and often miss meals.

No, I would challenge that. I’ve been slim all my life - partly down to sheer, genetic good luck. I’ve never been on a diet, ever. But I also don’t see food as ‘entertainment’ or a way to alleviate boredom. I love food. But I have an ‘off’ switch. When I feel full, I stop. if I ate a whole tub of Ben and Jerry’s in one go I’d feel violently ill. Likewise if I had a massive Frappuccino thing with whipped cream from Starbucks. I’d just feel sick.

That doesn’t mean I live virtuously on lettuce leaves and my favourite thing in the world is rocket. I love carbs, I love chocolate. I’ve just never been able to overeat. DH can eat a whole big bar of Dairy Milk in one sitting. I can have four-six cubes and then I don’t want any more. I’ve had enough. I’ve just always been like that though. I wouldn’t really say I consciously think about it.

I think you need to start exercising or going to the gym. Then you will feel it’s an absolute waste of time eating the same way, you will feel like you want the benefits from working out and that will change your mind frame.

Or you will feel like you deserve a treat for having gone to the gym and eat more calories than you’ve burned.

Doesn't everyone have a target weight/look that makes the best of their body shape, or am I being woefully U and grossly naive?

I used to have a target weight but I have found that increased muscle mass has distorted it somewhat so now I just go on look/feel.

My fear is that "slim" is sometimes being used on this thread as a synonym for "straight up and down, tall, slender gamine look" rather than "at the very best weight for my height and body type".

The "sausage" shape as my DH rather unkindly calls it. It might be. It's not my shape though, I'm more pinched in the middle.

yy ahundred. I have a natural "off switch" too.
I can eat just a couple of biscuits and I will leave food on my plate if it's too much for me.

I’ve been slim my whole life. I eat 3 meals a day and snack a lot in between. But I’m also cautious about portion control and keeping active. As much as it’d be nice to eat a whole pizza with sides and a pack of biscuits in one sitting, my stomach wouldn’t allow it and I don’t need to eat enough for 2-3 people in one go. A lot of people have massive meals, portion size nowadays is ridiculous, people have 5 cakes rather than one but wonder where the problem is. I enjoy everything I eat, I can eat anything and look forward to it but moderation is key!

I am slim and enjoy food but I am not obsessed with it. I firmly believe that although food is to be enjoyed it should also be seen as fuel and we should all be more aware of what we are putting into our bodies. You wouldn't put crap petrol in your car that would cause it to breakdown so why put endless crap in your body that will make you ill. I love a slice of homemade cake but I can live without fizzy drinks and takeaway food - all just pointless calories and food with no nutritional value.