How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

I'm really intrigued where these attitudes come from.
Is it childhood and what parents modelled to you? Or is it more genetics ingrained personality?

I grew up in a foodie house where comfort eating was modelled to me. I was feeling coldy and unwell, have some chocolate to cheer up. Saturday nights were for enjoying a good steak or 'treat meal'. If I was going on a school trip where there would be lots of physical activity or cold weather etc there would be a pack of biscuits packed for me so I didn't get hungry or to cheer myself up in the rain. I remember seeing my mum coming in from work and getting the wine after a stressful day. I definitely then reenacted these behaviours and patterns when I left home.

My grandmother is also similar (although stick thin). I think with her it was a wartime thing. She always comments negatively if I loose a tiny bit of weight (even though I could do with loosing a little). She will notice if I don't have much for breakfast. Mostly in a 'food is fuel' or 'don't make yourself ill' kind of way.

Is it childhood and what parents modelled to you? Or is it more genetics ingrained personality?

I think it's genetic. I'm basing this on the fact that I have a sister who is close in age. Our upbringing was the same. She has just never really been bothered about food and stays slim easily. For me not overeating is like tensing a muscle, it take conscious effort. I have always had a desire to overeat. I remember clearly my dad asking me what I wanted for my birthday breakfast when I was 6 and I asked for 6 slices of toast 😂

Also worth remembering that definitions of overeating are very subjective and variable. I think I eat huge portions but someone on here posted egs of their meals in the context of finding portion control difficult and it was way more than I could ever get down even when I'm starving. Also, I'll eat triple the amount of pasta or rice to what most on here consider a portion, but the idea of eating an entire pack of biscuits or huge chocolate bar is unfathomable to me - it's not even appealing as an idea.

I’m slim. I remember at work once a colleague who was on a diet announcing she wasn’t going to tuck into any of the cake that a client had bought in. She talked about it all morning, the breakfast she’d had and what she was going to have for lunch, and how she wasn’t

Posted too soon sorry! My point was going to be that she seemed to talk about food a lot, and always be thinking about it (and was overweight), whereas I never really think about food at all. I do enjoy my meals, but when I’m not eating I just don’t think about food. I do however drink too much alcohol, and can have the exact same thing my colleague had but with alcohol, in terms of the thought processes going on in my head

If you read the diet threads, people posting what they eat while dieting, it is still a large amount of food. Snacks tend to feature, generally crisps, kitkats, biscuits every day. Several pieces of fruit a day.

Meals sound large. Jacket spuds for lunch, but with beans, cheese, sausages. It's more than I eat and I'm not dieting.

I really think we dont know how to eat. So many mixed and wrong messages. And I think it is all built on an old model and not how we function today, with lack of movement and readily available food.

I'm slim and I don't much care for food. I find it all too much hassle. I wish I could just eat once a week and enjoy it. Instead I feel hassled with having to think about and prepare food several times a day, most of which I don't actually feel like eating or want food anyway so it's not enjoyable to eat. I don't like eating big portions and I eat quite slowly. For example if I am eating outside in the summer, wasps will come and show interest in my food, I have noticed that if I match DH's eating speed (ie get another forkful as soon as I have one in my mouth) they will seem to see my food as "in use" and stay away but I find it stressful and unpleasant to eat this fast. I can't taste the food as well or enjoy it.

I also hate how much food costs and see eating large portions as a waste. I hate the way sometimes you can eat more than a reasonable portion at one meal time but bang 4-6 hours later you feel hungry again. I actually sometimes feel really annoyed at my body for being so needy, which I realise is absolutely nuts and probably a bit unhealthy, but it's just how it goes.

I also tend to prefer savoury over sweet, lean over fatty, vegetable over starch. I dislike greasy/fatty foods. I find carbs extremely bland and boring and do not get the hype. Apparently this is genetic.

I never really think about my weight, and I don't "care more about being slim than eating", I would not mind if I was thin or fat (theoretically - I suspect if I was fat I wouldn't be immune from the cultural hang ups about it.)

What was modelled to me as a child: Small portions, plenty of veg compared to other foods, hardly any fried foods, smal portions of meat, no cheese etc, mum who never worried about weight, didn't go on diets etc. Mum is the same as me in that stress makes us lose our appetite, so the opposite of comfort eating.

DH and I are both slim (both under 20 BMI). It sounds kind of sad, but we just don’t really care much about food. To us it’s fuel, not a treat. My foodie friends think we’re crazy, but we just don’t really care. We don’t diet and we eat what we want when we want it, so it’s not like we live a miserable existence, but by nature we’re just not big eaters. I do buy a lot of vegetables and fruit and I cook most of our meals at home because we have children and want them to be healthy. Neither of us particularly enjoys sweets aside from a small taste though, so dessert isn’t a regular thing in our house. Both of us dislike the feeling of being overly full. Saves on eating out at least I suppose?!

DS1 is very similar to me. He will put off eating until he's absolutley starving and will still say he doesn't fancy stuff. It drives me nuts but I know I'm just the same. He is like a rake. And if anything is making him stressed or anxious he just physically cannot eat, it's like the stomach closes up and says no entry.

I don't particularly identify with these extremes. I'm not super slim, but I'm fairly slim. Size 10 in my late 40s, height 5 ft 4. Used to be size 8 until a few years ago. I enjoy food and am interested in good food. I plan meals to some extent and basically eat as much as I want at meal times. I will eat between meals if I am really hungry - or if I am offered something exceptionally nice. But I don't think more food is always better. I don't want to eat until I am really stuffed. I would never eat more than a couple of biscuits, a small bar of chocolate or a couple of small scoops of ice cream at a time - it wouldn't occur to me. I'm not depriving myself - it just doesn't appeal.

I'm slim, bmi was 21 pre-pregnancy (still pregnant) I am 5ft 8 and I wear a size 10 on average.

I do think about what I can eat next constantly! I wake up and think about what's in the fridge, I binge in the evenings and I snack throughout the day, especially when I'm not busy. I comfort eat when I'm having a down day. I tend to snack on a lot of fruit, though or crackers or crisps, and then hit the chocolate and cake and stuff in the evenings. I eat generally large home cooked evening meals and maybe have a takeaway once or twice a month. I do have dogs though so I do a lot of walking and I would go running pre pregnancy as well.

Im a sporty size 10. Ive done sports my entire life. Id call myself slim but id strongly disagree with the poster that said slim people want to be slim more than they want food.

Im constantly thinking about food. I think my activity levels counters how much I eat.

That said, I dont eat 'junk' food. Ever.

To the poster saying that eating healthily is expensive- we find the opposite true. We eat much less food and therefore buy,and haul, much less food. We plan meals more and therefore waste less.

I’m slim, and I love food, but I feel terrible if I eat unhealthily, and I also feel horrible, about myself, so I limit what I eat. I don’t eat cakes or biscuits, fried food etc, I do allow myself some chocolate everyday.
Portion control is very important, as is some physical exercise as often as you can. I power walk the dog every day.

I do treat myself occasionally, but generally I’m strict with what I eat.

Yes I've been 20 stone and think of food all the time. I am now a healthy weight as I've been most of my life but I still think of eating all the time and just have to control myself. Food is not just fuel for me, it's everything..

I don't think healthy eating is expensive as such but I do think switching from mostly pre prepared and processed foods to fresh, homemade foods can be initially.

I have a store cupboard full of spices, herbs, sauces etc so find it easy to whip up a tasty curry or stew or stir fry. If you are starting from scratch though the initial outlay on those type of ingredients, which make the world of difference in terms of the pleasure you gain from a meal, can be off putting.

Plus, some healthy foods, notably fish, are not cheap.

Also worth remembering that definitions of overeating are very subjective and variable. I think I eat huge portions but someone on here posted egs of their meals in the context of finding portion control difficult and it was way more than I could ever get down even when I'm starving. Also, I'll eat triple the amount of pasta or rice to what most on here consider a portion, but the idea of eating an entire pack of biscuits or huge chocolate bar is unfathomable to me - it's not even appealing as an idea

Yes this is very true. I think I eat a lot because I go out for lunch with colleagues and finish my food and eye up their half-eaten plates, but as you say, there's no way I could eat more than 2-3 biscuits out of a packet or more than a few squares of chocolate at a time/per day.

And I agree eating healthily is not expensive. I can knock up a soup that will do me 3-4 meals from one large potato, an onion, one large sweet potato and if I really want to push the boat out I'll add a tin of kidney beans. Add a bit of Marigold stock powder and a few chili flakes, a piece of bread and I've got a nutritious healthy meal made from scratch. Just increase the quantities for a family and maybe add a parsnip and/or carrot.

My DD is very slim and I am very fat. I was bought up with a body obsessed family who talked about disgusting fat people and being thin/fit/healthy all the time. Put me on diets as a teen and watched what I ate. Made me obsessive about food and I ate more because of it. Food is my comfort. DD has had the opposite upbringing really. We don't talk about being fat although we do talk about healthy living sometimes. Never make a big deal out of it. DD loves food but she is physically unable to eat huge amounts. When we eat out she can usually finish half her meal and takes the rest home to eat for lunch or dinner the next day. If she has a starter she can't eat much of her main. She likes pasta a lot but also loves salad. Her diet isn't the best as she doesn't eat enough veg but she knows she needs to eat more so tries her best. Most importantly though she isn't bothered by her body weight and is happy as she is so doesn't obsess over food. I think it makes a big difference. So many of her friends have been put on diets by their parents or told they look fat in clothes. Makes me sad and you can see how they will be the type to yo-yo in weight all their lives because of it.

I’m slim. But I think about food/ cooking/eating /restaurants/ recipes a lot. And I love food and eat a lot. However when I’m stressed, I stop eating and find I don’t crave it nor do I enjoy it nor look forward to it..

I'm slim and have to watch that I don't go underweight. I see food as fuel and although I do quite enjoy takeaways and meals out I don't do that very often. I probably do think about food quite a bit but more because I find it a pain to eat healthily. It would be easier and more convenient to just eat cake. It's not great really as I feel that I am missing out on something that others obviously enjoy.

I turn to food when bored. The only thing that stops me is an empty cupboard. I am, and always have been thin as a rake.

However when I’m stressed, I stop eating and find I don’t crave it nor do I enjoy it nor look forward to it..

Yes, I find that stress makes me eat less and I think that is one of the ways slim people differ from those who are underweight. Being miserable/stressed = less food rather than comfort eating,

underweight overweight!

I'm just not hungry. Unless I've been super active I don't think about meals, or eating a set things at a certain time. It's 12.30 and I've only had a cup of tea. Might have some toast before heading out later.

In my case just being really aware of what my body needs (or doesn't).

BMI 19 but can still pinch a few inches.