How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

Also like pp said. Once I get to a set maximum weight in my head I go on a mini diet for a week or two. I never go over that limit

Re the menopause, I found things settled down about two years after. I'm 59, I had my menopause at 54.
My advice is to exercise as much as you can, apparently it 'targets' visceral fat, ie weight round the waistline. I've heard it's a good idea for post menopausal women to do some form of resistance training as well as cardio.

I used to be very fat, and used food as a treat, to comfort me.. emotional eating to the max, basically.

Then I decided to lose weight as I was fed up. Over that time, I completely changed my relationship with food - which is key if you're going to keep it off for the long term. There was one pivotal moment for me though, as I was on a weight loss forum, and I put that I saw food as a reward etc, and said what can do to change that? Another poster just wrote something like "You say you reward yourself with crisps and chocolate. It has been proven many times that all of these foods are bad for your body, mind, and general wellbeing - so how on earth is that a treat?" It just stuck, and I don't know why.

From then on, I didn't view food in that way.

That was 8 years ago, and for about 7 of those years I stayed the same weight, or within a few pounds either way of it, anyway.

I have gained weight recently because we were without a kitchen for 3 months which made things very difficult.. so I'm now working on getting it off again! But I still don't think like I used to!

I’m like @Chelsea26 and a former fat bow slim person who also thinks about whether food is worth the calories.

I think about food a lot, meal planning, macro and calorie counting, craving particular food and trying to work it into my food plan. Right now my weight is up because of Saturday night dinner but I will work it off during the week.

It’s a numbers game for me, but ultimately, I prefer to be slim so I put willpower into that. Oh and I make a lot of treats at home to avoid eating bought stuff that often doesn’t taste as good as it looks and is loaded with calories.

Yes, I do agree with those who say sometimes it is genetic. I had an aunt who was very slim all her life.

The trouble is that, until the menopause hits, you don't know how it's going to affect you. I was, i thought, naturally slim (apart from the vagaries of pregnancy and child rearing boredom eating). Then, with no change in diet, on came two stone and looked set to increase. I had to take up running at least five miles a day and cut my food back. It's not impossible to lose weight, I lost over three stone, but am now paranoid that if I so much as look at a bar of Cadbury's, it will just rebound back on.

If I don't eat, I'm fine. As soon as I eat anything, all i can think about is more food. Fortunately, i can't eat at work, which has saved me from gaining more!

I don’t know what the science behind it is, but the term “head hunger” makes a lot of sense to me. Before I had my gastric sleeve, I used to eat truly horrific portions of food. The surgeon later told me that the portion of my stomach he removed was over 3L in capacity. If I ate just to a comfortable level I was probably eating 2x what I should, never mind full to bursting (which I did) must have been easily 3x (I’m talking easily in excess of 1500 calories/meal + capacity for snacks during the day).

Now post surgery, despite having virtually no stomach left with which to feel hunger, I felt hungry. So when I tried to eat and made myself violently ill, I realised that I wasn’t hungry, despite feeling what I had always identified as ‘hunger’. Whether it’s simply bad habit, or simply seeing food as comfort rather than to satiate hunger? I don’t know- but now I’m unable to eat huge portions it does make self-control easier (I have to resist the temptation to snack).

I’d say that’s probably what the difference is- fat people generally are feeling ‘hungry’ when they’re not intact requiring nutrition, and that slim people still enjoy food, but are able to distinguish between wanting food for nutrition and wanting food to feel better/enjoy/console etc.

*frogsoup" I agree, I was a foodie in my 20's and loved cooking and eating out. I stayed slim as I didnt snack, exercised and so remained 9 stone throughout. I am under no illusions that I put weight on in my 30s as I had young kids, ate too many snacks and stopped going to yoga classes etc. I do the whole mindless crisp eating in front of the TV.

I dont think it's fair saying slim people dont like food as much, they just know when to stop.

I'm kind of in the middle. I am a size 12 BMI bang in the middle of healthy. I look a bit wobbly in places am probably half a stone over my ideal.

I obsess about food. I can actually remember most restaurant meals I've had. I read menus. One of my first thoughts in the day is what I'm going to eat. I get enormous pleasure from food. But that equally applies to healthy food as unhealthy and I am relatively good at stopping when I'm full. I enjoy salads and veg. I also naturally am not that keen on carbs so most of my food is meat and veg which probably helps rein me in a bit. I do use double cream and butter in cooking and have never followed a diet as they look miserable and unsustainable to me

I think I eat healthily but i snack quite badly; I have chocolate and recently crisps when the kids are in bed which is probably where the extra half stone comes in

The other aspect not so discussed is alcohol. I don't drink at all.

Not a big drinker either, never been. I don’t like the taste of alcohol nor find it a necessity. It’s just empty calories.

Alcohol is a very good point.

My DP is overweight, we eat the same as each other however I don't drink and he does drink a lot. He's definitely put on more weight since he started drinking.

I don't think there's a slim mindset as this thread shows how different people are. However I personally find food just way too much effort.

Honestly, if I could take a tablet once a day that gave me all the nutrition I needed so I could not bother with planning meals, food shopping, cooking, eating I would jump at it. I find it just so tedious. Fortunately my husband loves food and health conscious otherwise I'd probably be living off toast and cereal and be very unhealthy.

I think a lot of people forget how many calories are in drinks. I never drink sugary drinks, and I don’t drink much alcohol. I think that really helps.

I’m slim. I don’t think much about food and could easily skip a meal just because I’m busy rushing around. It’s not that I want to be slim more than I want the food, I just don’t particularly crave food much. I’ll eat at mealtimes because the food is there but I don’t give it much thought all day, certainly wouldn’t get comfort from it. If I’m stressed I go the other way and don’t feel like eating.

I just want to give a little word of caution to all you slim people out there who eat as much as you want, even if it is full of sugar. Please get a blood test, and maybe an ultrasound scan of your liver. Your liver, and indeed all your other internal organs, may be suffering from being surrounded in fat. If they are that can be as dangerous, if not even more dangerous, than others being visibly fat. Too many seemingly fit and healthy people, suffer from heart problems, and fatty livers, but often don't realise it until it is too late. Sorry for being a party pooper!

@Bl3ss3dm0m you aren't being a party pooper. My DM has been thin all her life and had the shock of her life when she was told how high her cholesterol was and how dangerous it was.

I worry about my cholesterol, and sometimes you don’t know til it’s too late, can I ask my doctor to check this?

My dad was always slim and he had some routine blood tests which showed his cholesterol was through the roof. The GP was surprised he hadn’t had a heart attack already. Being slim definitely doesn’t always = healthier

Being slim doesn’t equal healthy I know.

I am always surprised that some overweight people consider themselves healthy

I watched a program ages ago where rich people spend time with poor people (not rich house poor house) and the poor woman was a fitness instructor but she was well overweight and I was a bit at this, I don’t think I would trust a fat fitness instructor.

...trust a fitness instructor that was overweight to guide me into being fit, is what I meant.

comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.

That's how i see food. I love eating and do it whenever i can

Genetically I'm lucky. Most other people i know who are skinny are also big eaters. I think fast metabolism is a more likely reason for the relationship than abstention, in my experience anyway

I do a ton of exercise as well, 12-16 hours a week of climbing and associated training

I watched a program ages ago where rich people spend time with poor people (not rich house poor house) and the poor woman was a fitness instructor but she was well overweight and I was a bit confused at this, I don’t think I would trust a fat fitness instructor.

I know what you mean. When DS started taekwando I was a bit at the overwieght instructor and assumed he got his black belt in his younger fitter days. But the kids love him. Then he did a demo for the kids and I was like because he was brilliant and so fast.

Slim. I like food but l simply prefer healthy food made interesting. Give me an aubergine curry over fried chicken.

I am in touch with how food affects my energy level and how bad food makes me bloated.

Not really bothered by cake or calorie laden drinks. Drink mainly water and tea.

I like chocolate and savory snacks but I dont need them every day. Same with wine.

I'm comfortable with hunger. We are meant to feel hungry. I tend to skip breakfast, or just eat a hard boiled egg. Do we really need 3 meals a day?

I make meal plans for the week. Cook up left overs into soups. Dont eat meat. Do like take away but eat a few slices of a thin based pizza or a bean curry.

My mum use to say 'wait 20 minutes, then see if you are still hungry'. It works for me.

I have lost getting on for 6st, and have done it purposefully fairly slowly in order to make it a full lifestyle change.

(the crash dieters I know have all put it back on again...)

I have shifted significantly more towards smaller quantities of higher quality ingredients. In at the time I've spent, my appetite has shrunk. I don't feel hungry between meals, and I rarely drink anything but water.

I eat to fuel myself as I exercise a lot. I respond to the needs of my body after exercise.

My current diet is 4x 1000 cal days, 1x 1600, 1x 2400 and 1x 1800 - I exercise on the days with higher allowances, and eat back my extra calories from that.

When I'm at goal weight, I plan to up the amount on the lower calorie days gradually, to the point I'm maintaining not losing.

The answer is in your statement: "comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever."
Food is a psychological crutch/reward/solace for the majority of obese people. Until this is addressed, the use of food as a drug won't cease.

Being slim definitely doesn’t always = healthier

Of course not, but for one slim person that happen to be unhealthy, there will be 20 if not more overweight peoole who are so focusing on overweight people makes sense.