How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

I'm a thin person and I LOVE food and battle with how much I want the food I love to eat, but I also know eating it will make me gain weight.
It's a constant test and a mathematical battle of calories and counting them. But I eat takeaways often and just counteract it with lowering my calorie intake other days or burning more at the gym.

I have always found nearly all food just a bit “blah”. The only time I felt the “pleasure” thing was when I was first prescribed mirtazapine for depression. Suddenly I got what people meant about enjoying eating. But that wore off over about 3 months and now I’m back to finding food blah again. Many nights I won’t eat at all because `I look at the food I have and just don’t fancy any of it. It’s nothing to do with wanting to be slim for me. I drink more red wine than I should and I know that’s loaded with calories! I just don’t enjoy eating.

I used to be overweight but made a real effort to lose the weight and up the exercise. I joined a local slimming class that included cbt and group discussions.
I am always interested in food, and love to cook. Crap baker luckily.
Tips I picked up are drink a glass of water any time you feel peckish and avoid the crisps aisle in the supermarket. It’s been a few years but I do automatically skip the snacks & chocolate.

I don't think it is as clear cut as you suggest, but it might apply to some people. However I am slim, not in my forties and have been skinny since I was a young child. I've spent my whole life desperate to put on weight, think about food constantly and when I can next eat, although struggle to eat a lot at work due to my busy, not desk bound job. I love eating a really good tasty meal. I'm constantly hungry and looking for a snack.

I think there are slim people who are obsessed with staying slim who probably think in a very controlled manner about food, but that doesn't apply to all slim people.

All the thin, young people - wait until the menopause hits...
Menopause has hit and yes, the challenge is upped but still possible, I'm now back to my slimmest. Hard work indeed though!

for me food is fuel- i love it but i have so much more that enriches my life- i love sport- train 6 times a week for hours. if i don't workout i feel awful and i'm
not hungry

I'm nearing 50 and a size 6-8. I don't think much about food although I do enjoy nice things. I will eat 3 courses when out but rarely eat puddings or snack on anything at home. In times of stress I lose my appetite rather than comfort eat! Actively dislike that feeling of being completely stuffed so tend not to eat large portions really. I doubt I'm particularly healthy though as what I do eat isn't always the best and I don't exercise.
I will admit I like being slim but this isn't the reason I don't eat massive amounts. I just don't think about food much!

Is it always true that what you put in to your body comes out of it?

My mum is larger (size 20-22 and her boobs don’t help at all, she is a size 40 something) she is 5ft 4” and the thing is is that I hardly ever see her eat, nor does my brother see her eat much and he is there every couple of weeks for at least 2 days.

She said that after she had me at age 18 then her figure pinged right back and it wasn’t until after she had my little brother 7 years later that she started having weight issues, she crept up from a size 8 to 10 to a 14, then a 16 and beyond, now she didn’t and hasn’t really ever exercised since my brother as far as I know, and she had my youngest brother in her mid 30s and I know it’s harder to lose the baby weight in your 30s than say your teens or 20s, but how can a person be so large when they aren’t really eating?

She feels insecure about her size yet does zero about it so it’s hard to be sympathetic, as a PP said, now because she doesn’t eat a lot then she’d probably lose weight from exercise, I just don’t get how certain people can’t lose weight when they don’t eat a lot? If I don’t eat much then I lose weight and I know because my clothes are looser.

I'm slim, in my 40s, and LOVE food. I eat a lot. But there are things that keep me slim. For a start I don't comfort eat, on the whole - when I'm stressed I stop eating rather than eating more. Also, sweets and chocolate bars aren't really my bag. If I'm dreaming of food it's king prawns or roast chicken, not pastries or biscuits. And I eat a lot if I'm hungry and it's delicious, but not otherwise. So I might eat a really huge bowl of pasta and sauce (150-250g of dry weight pasta) for dinner, but I won't have either eaten breakfast or any snacks that day, if that makes sense. So total calorie intake stays reasonable. I am in tune with my total needs - large meal means less hunger for the rest of the day. More generally, some days I feel very hungry and eat shed loads, other days I'm not hungry and I'll eat almost nothing. That's it, in sum. Plus, I suspect, a fast metabolism, an active job and a tendency to fidget!

I dread putting the weight on with menopause but my mother and her sister didn’t so does this mean I am unlikely too as well?

When it comes to the menopause then does the weight just come from nowhere or does it increase your appetite? I ask because I was talking to the lady that works in my local chemist and she said that she used to be a size 8 and was at the gym everyday and then all of a sudden, the menopause hit and she is now a size 14-16 and she still goes to the gym and eats healthy, is that really possible, to eat healthy and work out yet don’t lose weight?

To the pp who said they lost weight after becoming vegan. I've been vegan for a few years and often find vegan options in restaurants carb heavy. We went out for a family meal at the weekend and the vegan option was basically two thirds bread and potatoes. Its different when I cook for myself but I also feel whenever I come across a vegan cake etc I have to eat it! I have probably put on half a stone since becoming vegan. There are fewer quick to make healthy protein options.

9 stone when I met my partner age 30, 10 stone after having first DC, 11 st after second, 11.5 after being vegan a few years! Now 40. Determined to lose a stone by cutting snacks as I feel unhealthy. Not so bothered about dress size but I want my existing clothes to fit. I think I can adopt that 'slim' mindset previous posters have mentioned.

I'm slim, a BMI of 20.3, and have always loved food. My days are often spent around meal planning and feeling excitement over the next meal / treat.

I guess maybe part of it is portion control or difference in what exactly brings joy? I love proper good healthy and nutritious food - I love making a proper decent meal. I feel such achievement in creating of a meal and sharing it too.

That isnt to say I dont enjoy a sneaky chocolate bar grabbed from the petrol station when I have filled up my car but I get much more joy from meals I have created or meals that have been made with love by friends/family

@Zaphodsotherhead not always - my DM has always been thin and she still is aged 60. My Gran was always thin up until she died aged 86. Sometimes it really is just good genetics.

I think some of it must be genetic as well.

I have a million second cousins, Italian family, grandad was one of 9 who mostly had 3/4 DC each! Almost all of us are about 5'3" and a size 8. Age range from 20s with no DC to nearly 40 with 2 DC.
The mum/auntie generation (in their 50s and 60s) apart from the ones that have had health problems are all still the same size too.

Different lifestyles too, and I live in a different country from everyone else.

@Zaphodsotherhead, just to add that I was always a runner and it didn't stop the weight creeping. I had to switch to strengh and hit training and the weight fell off, in terms of dimension and fit rather than actual weight, despite eating more than I did when I was running a lot.

Slim. And just lucky to be slim. But also because my weight has never been an issue, lucky, I suppose, to never really get into bad food habits.

I really enjoy food but what I have noticed is that I ENJOY healthier food in a way my OH's family don't. They put a lot of value on treaty, fatty, sugary food.

Can't eat more than I feel I want. Don't like feeling 'stuffed'. If I have a big lunch, like a Sunday Roast, that's me done for the day really. If I want something sweet I eat it. Generally I just don't want much sweet stuff as I don't have a habit of it.

I don't associate food as 'comforting' ( which is different from 'enjoying') If I get stressed I can't eat. At difficult times in my life the weight has fallen off me as I just couldn't eat much at all.

I can't relate at all when people say "I got depressed so I ate a whole tub of ice cream" or whatever.

I'm small and pretty slim, and am 54. For me it's definitely a case of preferring to be slim rather than overeat, so a conscious choice. I think the main difference in 'naturally' slim people is down to appetite. Some people are just hungrier than others. I'm hungry quite a bit, but control it.

Slim people aren't that fussed about food, will have a small portion or nothing if not hungry, don't obsess about food and listen to their bodies, only eating when hungry.

I have a greedy side and have to try to switch my thinking to the above if my clothes get too tight. If I'm in a slim phase I find it easy to distract myself if I'm a bit hungry at 11am and can usually wait until lunchtime.

Sugar is addictive and alcohol is fattening as it switches off fat burning and is full of empty calories. If I'm on holiday or something I easily get into the mindset of fuck it, enjoy yourself, but then when I get home I manage to get into a better mindset about food again. Being a bit hungry won't hurt me and I'll be fine having a bit less type attitude.

So I switch between the two mindsets but do have general control.

I'm slim and always have been. I just think about the calorific value of everything I eat.

If I've eaten a lot one morning I'll have something healthy/low calorie/veg heavy for dinner. Opposite on other days. Just try to balance it out a bit. I adjust my food intake with activity levels and always always stop eating when I'm full.

My DP is very overweight and it's easy to see why in our house. I'll have some marmite toast for a snack while he'll have a cheese sandwich. I'll have a quarter/half a share bag of crisps, he'll have one or two whole bags. It's the little decisions.

He doesn't think about what he's eating and he doesn't get any 'guilt' whereas I do.

I think portions are massive part of it too. Buy smaller plates/bowls to eat from. I swear by it!

I’m a natural size 8/10. I’ve always been very slim.

I don’t do anything conscious to maintain it, though as PP have said I don’t eat set meals/mealtimes. I prefer to eat when I’m hungry sometimes I finish what’s on my plate sometimes I don’t depends on when I get full and generally I favour a veggie diet. Not sure whether this has any bearing on my weight?

I’ve taken up running in the past year too which hasn’t changed my weight but changed how my body looks and I find it bizarrely mentally soothing to go for a run now.

I guess I don’t think about food unless hungry, it just never pops into my mind.

I'm slim and always have been. As an earlier poster said, food just isn't a priority for me. If I'm stressed or busy, I often just don't eat. I don't feel hungry and I don't really want food if I'm stressed or upset. I don't eat big portions, and I don't eat a lot of snacks.

Not RTFT. I think yes, there is a difference. I am slim-ish - 5'9" and just under ten stone. Size 10-12 in modern sizes (although I fit my mum's old 1980s size 16 leather jacket) I don't like to be overweight so if it creeps up (which it can and does) I will have a mini diet. I also walk a lot (in the countryside) and run intermittently. I'm 52.

I think the main difference is the attitude to what is "normal" or "acceptable" in terms of eating habits. I like food, a lot, but I like good food, and also sweets, cakes and chocolate. Years ago I worked with a woman who resented me for being thin (I was a lot slimmer then) yet she would eat three chocolate bars a night while watching the telly. I'd find that level of consumption greedy. We have the occasional take away (mainly fish and chips) but I see them as unhealthy so they're an occasional treat. I don't eat chocolate every day and we never have dessert at home - these things are all treats. I do have cakes and biscuits for snacks.

IMO the main difference is summed up by the posters on here saying "oh thin people dont like food/ are drug addicts/ diet all the time/ deliberately restrict their intake" - friends of mine who are or have been overweight seem to have this sense of deprivation about not being able to eat all the pies and stay a size 8. Realising that an element of moderation is just healthy and normal is a key part of it for those who have successfully lost.

At the same time, eating can be an addiction and is not recognised as such (there's way too much fat shaming of people who do actually know they have a problem) and also there is that "fat gene" which means that the hormone to tell you that you're full doesn't get released. In studies, once people know they have that gene (so they are battling a hormonal imbalance, rather than being inherently greedy) they find it easier to restrict thier intake (by which I mean, eat a normal amount of food). So I guess the message there is that if we can help people with an eating problem to not beat themselves up about it, that's half the battle.

When it comes to the menopause then does the weight just come from nowhere or does it increase your appetite?
Both in my experience.

The other aspect not so discussed is alcohol. I don't drink at all. If I had that glass of wine in the evening to unwind, I would definitely be overweight on what I eat.

Bulking out meals with veg helps too. Curries/bolognese/anything in sauce. Just chuck 3/4 veg and 1/4 meat in. Saves money and bulks out the meal with filling, low calories. Helps if you like chilli too because you can jazz up the flavour!

Also never buy the bad stuff. I know that I will eat it if I buy it.

Find a healthyish/less fattening snack and stick to it. For example if I'm craving crisps/salt I'll have marmite toast. Not the healthiest but also much better than a big bag of crisps.

For sugar cravings a tea with sugar or some cereal/granola. Better than the multipack chocolate bars I can eat in one sitting

"Slim people aren't that fussed about food"

Have you read the thread? Loads of us are slim but love food! I am a massive foodie and eating is a huge source of pleasure for me.