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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still have our one year old sleeping in our bedroom?

58 replies

SpongeCake23 · 20/10/2019 19:05

He sleeps in his cot. It’s in our bedroom. We are fortunate to have a large room so it fits. He sleeps well but does wake for his dummy often.
His room is up in the attic and I’m worried when we move him, I’ll be running up and down the stairs all night to put his dummy in or settle him when he wakes.
We’re in a good routine and I’m worried moving him will change that for the worse.

OP posts:
Lunafortheloveogod · 20/10/2019 19:41

It’s completely up to you, ds would’ve still been In with me if it was another floor.. there’s horror stories about overheating etc if there’s a thermostat failure/summer heat wave so not a chance could I have slept.

Ds went at 6 months.. next room literally through the wall because dp’s alarm/snoring/sleep talking kept waking him up and I fell pregnant so I knew he needed to go to his own (no chance we’d get two cots in) and with the time of year I decided to go with a trial before fireworks start. He’s slept through most nights (dummy issues and a cold) from 10pm-8am.

Babyg1995 · 20/10/2019 19:43

My DC were both in there's own rooms at 6 months will be the same with DC 3 at that age our bedroom is just for us to sleep in unless they have had a nightmare or Are unwell I would just be worried they would take a while to settle in there own rooms but I don't think it's a bad thing if the parents and child are happy no reason to move yet .

georgialondon · 20/10/2019 19:48

My 2 year old is in her own bed in our room. Her lovely room is next door but she wants to sleep in here which is fine. They are only little once. I wouldn't rush it away.

Mammyloveswine · 20/10/2019 19:56

My 20 month is still in with us...thinking of getting bunk beds in the new year as almost 5 year old keeps asking for "a bed with stairs".

winetomorrow · 20/10/2019 19:59

Our 2 year old has a cot turned into a toddler bed in our room. She's just started wanting to sleep in her own bed at night but still will hop in with us if she wakes up. I'll take my cuddles for as long as I can get them, especially as I don't plan on having anymore!

ColaFreezePop · 20/10/2019 20:07

My 13 month old is still in a cot in our room.

I was glad last week as she woke up every 2 hours screaming about 3 times about 3 days in a row because she was teething. I could just pick her up and put in her the bed with us so we got some sleep.

Wheredidigowrongggggg · 20/10/2019 20:08

Do wha you want but I’d advise not constantly replacing dummy, therein lies madness!! Scatter a few around cot and he will find them.

MaryShelley1818 · 20/10/2019 20:11

20mth old DS is still in my bed, no plans to change that in the immediate future, he’ll go in his own room when he’s ready.

june2007 · 20/10/2019 20:12

If it works for you then leave it, no one elses business.

Oysterbabe · 20/10/2019 20:17

I'd leave him.
Our room is in the loft and running up and down the stairs all the sodding time annoys the piss out of me.

53rdWay · 20/10/2019 20:18

Whatever gets the most sleep for the most people is fine. Why torture yourself going up and down the stairs all night just because somebody else at baby group moved their baby out at 3 months? It’s mad.

Fuzzyspringroll · 20/10/2019 20:22

DS is nearly 3 and still in our room. He's got a mattress on the floor but often comes in with us. He sleeps through the night and doesn't tend to wake.
"His room" is still in the process of being built. We moved to a house that needs an extension and have been waiting for the builders to get started for ages. Once he's got his own room, he might even want to sleep in it.

ethelfleda · 20/10/2019 20:24

YANBU
DS is nearly two and still sleeps in my bed!
In the process of finishing his room so he will be moving in to it soon.
Do whatever feels right and whatever gets you the most sleep!

Pinkblueberry · 20/10/2019 20:26

If you’re all sleeping happily in one room I don’t see the issue - my DS is a little older than yours and also still wakes if he loses his dummy, he often finds it himself but sometimes I need to get up to find it and settle him. He’s only next door to me - I wouldn’t want to be traipsing up and down stairs to do that. The only issue I would have is getting ready for/into bed and having to be really quite and keep the light off - my DS would maybe would maybe wake up quite easily from that.

ethelfleda · 20/10/2019 20:28

Both me and my DP are fine with him staying in with us for now. I guess it’s just societal pressures and the odd comment at baby groups etc

Ignore ignore and then ignore some more.

For some reason, amongst some parents, it’s a badge of honour to move your child in to their own room when very young. Like it shows success as a parent or something. What a load of bollocks.
I’ll judge my success as a parent based on how happy and secure my child is thanks, not how soon I can push them to be independent before they’re ready.

Josephinebettany · 20/10/2019 20:30

Ignore others' opinions. Do what suits you and your family. Personally I think it's a good idea.
As you progress through parenthood there will be many others who want to give you their opinion on what you're doing wrong. You need to develop a thick skin Smile

Sparrowlegs248 · 20/10/2019 20:36

Yanbu. Although plenty of people in real life will have something to say I'm sure. Ds1 was in my room til 19 months, he moved into his own room a few weeks after his brother was born. (I'd planned for it to be a couple of months earlier so he didn't feel pushed out but there's a long story behind it)

Ds2 is still in my room at 2 yrs 8 months. Y room is huge, it's just me and him in there, and we only have 2 rooms so I'm nervous of putting him in with his brother, though am gearing up to it in the next few months.

AlansLeftMoob · 20/10/2019 20:39

Do what works for you. One of ours was in our room until he was nearly 3 and I can assure you now at 16 he doesn't even want to look at us half the time never mind sleep in our room!

JenniferM1989 · 20/10/2019 20:43

My son was in his own bedroom from 6 months until the start of September (he's 3 next week). Since the start of September though, he's been in our bed every night! He's only little, I think I'll let it go on a little longer then get him back through

Slappadabass · 20/10/2019 20:45

Leave him if he's ok where he is. My 3 year old is still in my bed. I love that he's close.

Kahlua4me · 20/10/2019 20:48

As others have said, do what works for you.

Both our dc were in our room/bed at various times during the night and as long as we were all sleeping it didn’t matter. They are now teenagers and certainly don’t get into our bed now!

Girlsmummy30 · 20/10/2019 20:51

My dd was in a cot in our room until she was 18 months. I changed her into a toddler bed in her own room and put a few extra dummys in beside her when she moved in and she was able to feel for them when she woke. Do what's right for you and your family

PumpkinKing · 20/10/2019 20:54

DD is 13 months and in a cot in our room. She still wakes once a night. We don't have another room for her! We're in a two-bed shoebox with 8yr old DS in a bedroom you couldn't swing a cat in. DD sleeps well in our room and it's convenient while she's still waking in the night. So no, YANBU. You do what works for you.

soolar · 20/10/2019 22:03

Perfectly normal. HOWEVER I did quite like not having to creep around when I went to bed once I'd moved my ds out even though he wasn't sleeping through.

whensmynexthol1day · 20/10/2019 22:07

We had our first in with us until 13 months. I didn't want to move him as like you I thought. I would find it easier to be next to him when he woke up to settle him.

But I have to say that I didn't realise how much we were unsettling each other at night and we all slept better once he had moved.

I certainly wouldn't move your little one because of any kind of misplaced pressure, but it may be worth a shot if he is still waking for his dummy frequently.