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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To still have our one year old sleeping in our bedroom?

58 replies

SpongeCake23 · 20/10/2019 19:05

He sleeps in his cot. It’s in our bedroom. We are fortunate to have a large room so it fits. He sleeps well but does wake for his dummy often.
His room is up in the attic and I’m worried when we move him, I’ll be running up and down the stairs all night to put his dummy in or settle him when he wakes.
We’re in a good routine and I’m worried moving him will change that for the worse.

OP posts:

lyralalala · 20/10/2019 19:06

I’d leave him where he is if you are all happy with it. He’s certainly not going to be in your room at 18 just because you kept him in until 18 months/2/3

AgentCooper · 20/10/2019 19:07

You do what feels right and is the least bother. My 2 year old is still in my actual bed

Imreallytrying · 20/10/2019 19:09

My 7 year old still gets in with me every night without fail 😂

M0reGinPlease · 20/10/2019 19:10

Another vote for do what works for you. If everyone's happy and sleeping, you're onto a winner. 12 months is still a baby.

delilahbucket · 20/10/2019 19:11

Don't rock the boat. DS was in my room until he was 18 months and he only moved because I moved house and it seemed like a natural progression. I wouldn't have had him on a different level to me at that age.

wineandcheeseplease · 20/10/2019 19:11

My daughter is 3 and still in with us!

Stroller15 · 20/10/2019 19:13

Do what works OP. We moved DS2 out when he was 11 months and moved him back into our room the next night!

lynzpynz · 20/10/2019 19:13

Yep, I know folk who have moved wee ones at 3 months, equally I know folk who have kept wee one in room till ready for a toddler bed. Do what works for you, there is no rules as every baby is different

WhenDoesTheWashingEnd · 20/10/2019 19:14

My DS slept in a cot next to my bed until he was 2 and a half. Partly it was a space issue, partly it was because he woke quite a lot and was easier all round to be on hand.

He's now in his own room as the space issue is resolved and he sleeps well through the night.
There were no real transition issues, he likes his bed but still creeps into our bed at about 0530-0600 for a little cuddle and snooze.

If you're happy with the set up go for it. You know best what works for you.

LizzieSiddal · 20/10/2019 19:16

Just leave him where he is, you’re all happy and sleeping so you’d be mad to change things.

Dd2 was 2 before she moved out of our room, don’t regret it one bit.

LittleNightmare · 20/10/2019 19:17

Why would you think it’s unreasonable? Who has been telling you that? Whoever they are needs to mind their own business, it’s not impacting them! Unless it’s DH, then it would depend on WHY he wanted DS moved out.

No way would I put a baby on another floor of the house unless I had absolutely no other option. It’s bad enough getting up several times a night when they’re in the same room.

When you’re ready to move him you can make a big deal of a Big Boys Room - shouldn’t be a problem!

PivotPivotPivottt · 20/10/2019 19:17

My 2.5 year old is still in her cot in my room. Her cot has removable bars so I've took a few off to let her come and go as she pleases so she will usually climb into my bed during the night or when she wakes in the morning. She is a brilliant sleeper and sleeps through from 6pm (except for the dummy wakes and straight back to sleep) so I'm a bit worried about moving her to her own room and her bedtime routine going out the window and like you don't want to be running back and forth on a dummy run. If you are all happy with the set up then I don't see the problem.

strawbebbies · 20/10/2019 19:20

I knew a good few people who still have or had the lo's in their bed with them at that age.
Whatever gets everybody a decent nights sleep is going to be best for everyone.

Userzzzzz · 20/10/2019 19:21

It was great when we moved ours at 6m as both times we disturbed each other but if you’re both happy then there is no need to change what you’re doing based on an arbitrary deadline. For your own sanity though, I’d try and crack the dummy retrieval while still in your room otherwise he might have you up and sown like a yo-yo when you do move.

Expressedways · 20/10/2019 19:28

Whatever works for you! Unless it’s your DH who wants to move your DS to his own room and he is fully prepared to do his share of settling then I’m not sure why or what you’re even asking tbh. I’d probably try and tackle the dummy issue though as frequent wake ups because of the dummy sound counter productive.

raspberryk · 20/10/2019 19:29

My kids slept on a different floor to me from 3 months (literally no other option) and 12 months. 12 months is fine, if they sleep well already there is no reason you would be up and down. Try transitioning naps in their room first.

Zelda93 · 20/10/2019 19:31

My daughter went into her own room at three months and has always slept well . But your choice as to what you want to do whatever works best for your family

LittleNightmare · 20/10/2019 19:34

@raspberryk

3 month old babies should not be sleeping in their own room (SIDS)

Some 1 year olds sleep through, but the OP said He sleeps well but does wake for his dummy often

hungryhippie · 20/10/2019 19:34

Do whatever is right for you. There are no hard and fast rules.
My eldest was in bed with me till 7 and we currently have a 5 year old and a 3 year old in our bedroom and play musical beds at night

Original poster

SpongeCake23 · 20/10/2019 19:35

Both me and my DP are fine with him staying in with us for now. I guess it’s just societal pressures and the odd comment at baby groups etc.
We were talking the other day about maybe keeping him in with us until he’s in a toddler bed.

OP posts:

Celebelly · 20/10/2019 19:35

Of course YANBU. Whatever works for you. Sleep is precious so if you've got a good thing then why rock the boat?! There will plenty of time for your child to sleep alone in their lives.

Jinxed2 · 20/10/2019 19:36

My 2.5 year old is in my bed still!

Xmasbaby11 · 20/10/2019 19:37

Dd2 was in with us until she was about 18 months. She was in a cot, we had plenty of room, and she was still waking at night. It worked for us, not sure why anyone would think it was a problem. I loved having her in with us!

meow1989 · 20/10/2019 19:40

We only moved ds at 8 months because he was too big for his crib. His room is the floor above us so we have a baby monitor with sound and video. Hes pretty good at finding his dummy himself.

However why change things if they're working for you? I sleep so well when in the same room as ds (if hes in travel.cot at inlaws for example) something so lovely about hearing their little breaths and noises. I have been known to sleep on a mattress in his room because I wanted to be close to him on occasion.

PleaseSirMyGoat · 20/10/2019 19:41

My 16 month DS is still in the same room as us because there's nowhere else for him to go! Tbh though I wouldn't have it any other way at the moment, he's still so small and I do like to keep an eye on him.

He'll be with us until he's 2 at least as we can't move until next summer.

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