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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to know why vendors are selling

185 replies

shoebedobedobedobedoo · 20/10/2019 17:39

We are at exchange stage(as in about to). Nothing has come up in survey or searches. When we first looked at the house EA said vendors were moving due to ‘change of circumstances‘. On second viewing we were told vendors had already moved out into rented. They had taken NOTHING with them. No furniture, no kids toys, nothing. It looked like they had walked out one morning and hadn’t come back. We had our offer accepted (had to increase twice). We have subsequently had 2 other nebulous reasons as to why they are selling, and most recently told they wanted to move to a detached house. On our 3rd viewing all the woman’s was gone, but not the mans. All kids stuff still there. Pre exchange visit almost everything gone.We know (via reliable village gossip) that they have moved into a much smaller rented property less than 1/2 mile away. Were they sleeping and sitting on the floor? Neither direct neighbour even knew they were moving or that the house was on the market until we knocked on their doors. They haven’t spoken to the neighbours to tell them they are going/have gone.
The house has had extensive work done by the vendors, all in a diy kind of fashion.
Why would anyone move out of an obviously loved family home into a smaller rented place before they have even had an offer on their house? And why all the odd reasons for moving. Why not at least just give one reason and stick to it. We are worried that there may be something major wrong with the house, not picked up in the survey (there a long list in our last purchase) or the vendors know something about an as yet unpublicised building project (it’s surrounded by farm land). Would you be worried about buying this house or am I over thinking this?

OP posts:
shoebedobedobedobedoo · 21/10/2019 21:08

Nann that’s my theory too.

I am genuinely surprised that MNers of all people don’t check out their neighbours before buying a house....although I wasn’t aware of the no knocking on anyone’s door rule.

OP posts:
Elsie1966 · 21/10/2019 21:42

It's got ghosties 😨😨😈😈👻👻👻👿👿👿😱😱😱

ToodlePipsky · 21/10/2019 21:47

Tbh it never occurred to me to go knocking on doors before putting in an offer on our current place. My MIL, at the time we put in an offer, said "what are the neighbours like?" DH said "how the fuck should we know, we don't live there yet do we" She insisted we went round visiting all the neighbours. We were like "oh yeah, like they're all gonna stand there and say "don't move here, we're all arseholes don't you know!"

However, having lived here for precisely 13 loooong hellish months, I now wished I'd knocked on some doors. I would've found out one is a nasty raging alcoholic who has verbally abused us on a regular basis, one is a prostitute whose chaotic life brings drama to all who slightly come into any contact with her, one is SO precious about his car that he loses his shit if any of our children play outside in case they scratch his baby, one is jealous and tries to sabotage any kind of home improvement we do, one has a million cats who frequently shit all over our garden and another is holier than thou and spreads vicious gossip. Oh, and the neighbourhood kids have bullied and physically attacked my son so much that I've now had to ban him from playing out.

And on the face of it, my street LOOKS lovely. It looks like a nice normal family-oriented area, with nice well-kept houses and gardens in a quiet set-back part of town that others view as "the posh bit of town"

Yep, next time I'll be knocking on doors!

nannieann · 21/10/2019 21:57

Does the dodgy DIY include a hastily laid patio? If so, perhaps this : Husband kills wife and children, burying them under patio. Wife was SAHM who home-schooled the children so hasn't been missed yet by village gossips. Remorseful husband can no longer live there so moves into furnished rental. He then gets rid of wife' s stuff in out-of-village charity shops and clothing banks. House is dirty as SAHM no longer available to clean it. EA is an innocent party who has to make up vague excuses OR she might be his other woman.
In this scenario, you wouldn't want to be buying it!

shoebedobedobedobedoo · 21/10/2019 22:12

However, having lived here for precisely 13 loooong hellish months, I now wished I'd knocked on some doors. thanks Toodle, one more minority person who thinks I’m not completely bonkers.

Nann kids are not home schooled (plenty of recent school photos up), so your patio theory won’t stack up.

OP posts:
nannieann · 21/10/2019 22:22

Good. I am glad to hear there'll be no bodies in the garden! However, there are a several possible explanations. I think the main bones of it is that the wife has left and the husband is in the rental, so the house isn't getting cleaned. The toys you saw could be outgrown ones, not used so much now, so the children could be with either partner.
It might be all above board, but it's an important decision, so I'd probably go with my gut feeling.

ForensicAccountant · 21/10/2019 22:38

Surveys come with so many exclusions and recommendations to get further expert advice, the surveyor would have to miss a really obvious issue for anybody to get any compensation through the courts.
The sellers of my house actually told me that they had a sale fall through because the survey came up with a woodworm problem, and that they might as well be honest because it would come up in my own survey.
It didn’t, but then my survey said the roof was nearing the end of its life which had not come up in the previous survey.
If there are obvious DIY jobs in the property I would be very careful.

SpiderCharlotte · 21/10/2019 22:47

When I’m spending 6 figures on something I think it is my business.

Of course it's not your business, how bizarre that you think that it is. You make a decision based on your survey and anything that your solicitor digs up in searches etc. Either buy the house or don't but keep your nose out of anything else.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 22/10/2019 01:20

I think you would have had a more sympathetic response if you’d stuck to ‘Is it odd that I’ve been given three different reasons for the vendors selling?’ It’s the ‘But why would they leave a much loved family home to go into rented accommodation? Why would they leave their things behind? Are they sleeping on the floor?!?’ comments that have made you come across as nosy and a busybody. How do you know it’s only the wife’s things that have gone? It’s all very well looking around and seeing there’s a lot of their stuff still there, but looking closely enough to know whose things are there and whose aren’t suggests snooping. Similarly, while I don’t think talking to the neighbours to ask what the road is like, local recommendations etc. is odd, quizzing them on the vendors (or even taking unsolicited comments as gospel) is another level.

Also, how do you know there is only one reason they’re selling? The first reason was a vague ‘change in circumstances’; the second was ‘We want a detached house’. These two things aren’t mutually exclusive.

Oliversmumsarmy · 22/10/2019 11:29

When I’m spending 6 figures on something I think it is my business

Why?

Does it mean that if the reason is something you don’t approve of you will pull out.

Bizarre.

As I said we will probably go into a smaller rented place for 6 months.

We probably will move out before it is sold leaving furniture behind if we found the right rental property (we have cats)
And we have enough excess furniture to make it through a few months whilst the house sells.

Really want to know why you think it is your business in case I get a buyer who finds what we will do very suspect and if the answer isn’t right might walk away

MelGrange · 22/10/2019 11:33

Yes, it is the buyers business.

I had a house purchase fall through because the vendors were getting divorced. Then they decided they weren’t.

I would also potentially put in a slightly higher offer to secure a chain free purchase, than I would if the house was in a 5 house long chain.

As the OP says, when you are spending that much money, you have the right to know the detail.

Oliversmumsarmy · 22/10/2019 11:41

I am genuinely surprised that MNers of all people don’t check out their neighbours before buying a house....although I wasn’t aware of the no knocking on anyone’s door rule

If one of my neighbours houses came for sale and I had people coming to my door asking about them and why they were selling I wouldn’t have a clue.
I have lived here for 20 years and short of posting misdirected post back through their letterbox I wouldn’t know their names.

I think I have spoken to the wife twice when I have taken a parcel in and she has thanked me but that is all.

Personally if someone did come round to be nosy I would probably make something up like they won the lottery or they have just inherited a Mansion in Surrey and that is why they are moving.

TheMouldNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 22/10/2019 12:19

If one of my neighbours houses came for sale and I had people coming to my door asking about them and why they were selling I wouldn’t have a clue.
I have lived here for 20 years and short of posting misdirected post back through their letterbox I wouldn’t know their names.

I think the op was knocking on neighbours to say hello and see if they seem like friendly people. The neighbours commented that they didn't know the vendor is selling. I would definitely speak to neighbours - I like living somewhere were neighbours are friendly, so if someone didn't know their neighbours after 20 years I'd think it wasn't the right street for me!

Op yanbu. She isn't being nosy - she's worried the reason for moving is something that is her business, like a new development planned that hasn't been submitted yet, or something so wrong with the house that the family couldn't live there a moment longer (problems with neighbours? Noise?) If the agent gave her one reason from the start she would have been satisfied by that, but odd to have changing reasons and they have moved out so suddenly leaving their belongings.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 22/10/2019 13:00

Yes, it is the buyers business. I had a house purchase fall through because the vendors were getting divorced. Then they decided they weren’t.

So are you saying you wouldn’t have made an offer if you’d known they were getting divorced, just in case they changed their minds? Because if not, it really isn’t relevant. Sales fall through all the time. The first house I made a successful offer on was up for sale because the owner had a new job. The job fell through, therefore so did the sale. It was a massive pain, but it could have just as easily happened if his purchase had fallen through, or if he was moving to get married and then the wedding was called off... so on and so forth.

If the vendors are selling due to structural problems, disputes with neighbours, concerns over development nearby etc., THAT is the buyer’s business. ‘Ooh, the wife’s things have gone but his haven’t’ is just gossip - and suggests the OP has had quite a dig around the house.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 22/10/2019 13:24

None of your business. It's their house you're buying, not their history.

There are lots of reasons for leaving the house furnished. Empty houses don't sell well, so perhaps they are waiting for exchange. As long as it's all gone by the time you move in, what's the problem?

Fettfrett · 22/10/2019 13:45

My boss did something similar for school catchment areas. They didn't sell in time to already be living in the catchment area when they had to apply so they rented a place while theirs sold. Mum and the kids moved into the rented place, they left most of their stuff in the old house as they thought it wouldn't sell if empty. Then once house was sold they moved their furniture into storage while waiting to find and purchase a new house in the new area.

There could be million reasons why they've done it this way.

namechangeididtoo · 22/10/2019 14:24

Haunted I’m sure
There’s a house close to us which we are convinced is haunted as nobody stays in it longer than a few months

Oliversmumsarmy · 22/10/2019 15:29

TheMouldNeverBotheredMeAnyway

My neighbours aren’t unfriendly, neither am I but it doesn’t mean I have to be friends with my ndn.

Some roads have houses where everyone minds their own business, neighbours don’t chat over the garden fence and to get to your neighbours front door is a trek not a few paces.

Personally I would hate someone moving in next door and expecting to be popping over for a cup of tea.

MelGrange · 22/10/2019 15:31

@stillcoughingandlaughing

I knew they were getting divorced. I’m not sure what the point of your very long post is?

Tensixtysix · 22/10/2019 15:33

It's either money or ....haunted!

shoebedobedobedobedoo · 22/10/2019 15:57

Thank you TheMould......you’ve pretty much summed my thoughts up.

We do really want to live in a community, so I’d be pretty sad if neighbours of 20 years didn’t know each other’s names.

the OP has had quite a dig around the house. it’s obvious that DH and I take a different view to house purchasing than the MN norm. We do look in most of the cupboards, go into the attic, check the water pressure etc. check out the neighbours. Why would you not do this? No EA has ever asked us not to (we have always asked if we can). I’m assuming you would test drive a car before buying it? Clearly you can’t live in the house first, but checking as much out as possible saves some nasty surprises later on.

OP posts:
Tinkerbelle57 · 22/10/2019 19:56

You can ask why they are moving but they don’t have to tell you. It is obviously personal and its NONE of your business .

Oliversmumsarmy · 22/10/2019 21:04

I didn’t even view this house before I bought it.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 22/10/2019 22:28

We do look in most of the cupboards, go into the attic, check the water pressure etc. check out the neighbours. Why would you not do this?

If there were built-in cupboards and I wanted to check the amount of space, then yes, I’d look. Once I knew, that would be it. I wouldn’t have to check on every subsequent viewing - therefore I’d have no idea if any personal items had been removed, let alone which half of the couple selling had done so. I certainly wouldn’t feel the need to quiz the neighbours about where they’d gone.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 22/10/2019 22:30

I’m not sure what the point of your very long post is?

Oh dear - were all those words too much for you? Would a Janet and John book be more your style?