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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wanting to change DD's first name WIBU

340 replies

F1oridasunshine · 20/10/2019 16:04

I've NC as this could be potentially outing if we go ahead with it.

Before DD was born me and DP had 2 names; Emily and Meadow. Meadow was by far our preferred name.

We were ridiculed for liking Meadow and told DD could get bullied so called DD Emily despite having reservations.

Although we like the name Emily, it is quite common. We did want something slightly different from a tradition name but thought the name would've grown on us by now but it hasn't and we both feel really disappointed we never stuck with our first choice.

We have discussed changing her name by deedpole to Meadow keeping Emily as a middle name.

Can I ask opinions on this? Are we being silly for considering this or should we just accept our choice and stick with Emily. I really want to change it but DP is worried about it now we have told friends and family her name.

So WWBU to change it?

DD is 15 wks old.

OP posts:
kiki22 · 20/10/2019 18:21

When I was little my name was not normal everyone commented on how weird it was but now loads of little girls are called it. I wouldnt worry about how well it ages at least she doesn't have to go around with the drab mn favourites.

I'd rather stand out than have the same vanilla name as everyone else tbh.

Seaandsand83 · 20/10/2019 18:21

OP is NOT asking for opinions on her name choice!! I don't understand why people feel the need to be so rude.

I would change it OP, you want to name your child something you love and have no regrets over. If you're 15 weeks in and still preferring Meadow then go for it!

Mollpop · 20/10/2019 18:24

I'm sorry but Meadow is just dreadful. It's not even a name. Why would you inflict that on your child?

You've already said you were ridiculed for liking Meadow. Do you really want her to be ridiculed as well?

Lhastingsmua · 20/10/2019 18:24

Sorry but I think you need to consider how your daughter might feel about the name Meadow in the future.

Many parents insist on giving their children ridiculous and unique names, then get deeply offended when the grown up child wants to change their weird name! You have to accept the possibility that she may not like the name, that she may get a deed poll herself, and that she may suffer from negative experiences as a result of having a strange name.

I would just stick to Emily.

rainingallday · 20/10/2019 18:26

@F1oridaSunshine

Keep it as Emily. 'Meadow' is bloody awful.

Sorry.

NoSauce · 20/10/2019 18:26

Meadow is in the same boat as Neaveh. Naff.
Sorry I just wouldn’t. Emily is better.

Beautiful3 · 20/10/2019 18:28

Meadow doesnt sound good for a grown up. But its up to you.

RolytheRhino · 20/10/2019 18:28

I'm pretty sure you can change it under a year without needing a deed poll. Failing that, if you're religious and get her baptised in the C of E church (not sure about the others), you can give her name as Meadow and they'll get it legally changed for you, or so our Vicar said.

BalloonSlayer · 20/10/2019 18:28

I like it.

Although I see it as a man's name - the fantastic Meadowlark Lemon of the Harlem Globetrotters, whom I adored as a child, was actually called Meadow. Smile He was Meadow Lemon III so it was clearly a family name.

Love the idea of calling someone Meadow and it get's lengthened to Meadowlark. Meadowlark is an even better name, IMO.

GleamInYourEyes · 20/10/2019 18:28

I'd reregister her with Meadow as a middle name, then you can call her Meadow day to day.

But in the future if she is embarassed by it she can easily revert to using Emily.

TimeForNewStart · 20/10/2019 18:28

God yes, is there anything worse than older women with opinions

Well I would say that giving an opinion when you’ve not been asked (OP wasn’t asking if people like the name, just if it is too late to change it) is pretty rude yes.

Topseyt · 20/10/2019 18:29

Just get the birth certificate amended to say Emily Meadow. Then either begin using Meadow or not, as you wish.

One caveat though - some people don't mind being known by their middle names but others don't like it and find it a pain in the arse. I am of the latter category. I am known by my middle name. I do like that name and identify with it, but I do wish that my names had been registered the other way around as I have had a lifetime of having to explain it in official circumstances

My personal preference out of the two names would be Emily. To me Meadow isn't a name, although others will clearly disagree and you clearly like it.

Original poster
F1oridasunshine · 20/10/2019 18:31

I reckon in 30 years time names like Meadow and Apple will be more commonplace than names like Emily or Jane

This exactly ^^

I cant see Meadow being bullied by classmates Sparkles, Apples and Lunar over her name, but of course it still is something to consider.

'Meadow'? People wont think of green grass and pretty flowers... They will think of cows churning cud and butter

My mum would come out with something like that, she's in her 60's. I very much doubt my 15 wk DD's generation would.

OP posts:
ProfessorPootle · 20/10/2019 18:33

Change it, I know two Meadows, it’s not that unusual. And you can change it for free at the registry office where you registered her birth anytime before age 1.

We changed ds’s name, had a name we liked, announced it to family after he was born and bil suddenly said his ds from 1st wife who he had no contact with had changed his name to that name. So we went for a shortened version. Regretted it and changed it back within the year. You just need to download a form online, fill in and post. Then you can apply for new birth certificate which will list new name. Our ds already had his first passport so we changed it on passport when it ran out after 5years.

Pardonwhat · 20/10/2019 18:34

Keep it as Emily.
Her ‘known name’ can be Meadow.

RickOShay · 20/10/2019 18:35

Definitely change it
Meadow is beautiful, much prefer it to Emily.

Totopoly · 20/10/2019 18:36

If you do decide to go for Meadow, I hope your surname is not Hall.

PablosHoney · 20/10/2019 18:37

God no, keep it as it is and she’ll thank you for it

MaybeitsMaybelline · 20/10/2019 18:40

Meadow. Whatever next?

Coppice?
Forrest?
Paddock?
Mountain?
Stream?
River?..shit sorry Jamie and Jules 🤦🏻‍♀️

SchadenfreudePersonified · 20/10/2019 18:42

Meadowlark

I think that's even better than Meadow . .

Isn't there a River Lark somewhere in England

FWIW - the people I know with unusual names (eg Waverly) didn't like them when they were young, but when they got into their teens they loved them - it made them stand out - in a good way!.

nestisflown · 20/10/2019 18:48

@Butteredtoast55 There's 4 Emilys in my child's nursery class this year. It's a beautiful name but incredibly popular at the moment.

Fwiw OP I like the name Meadow and I think it can sound professional depending on your surname. Meadow Summers... not great, but Meadow Peters sounds perfectly acceptable. My mum changed my sister's name when she was 8 and I can't imagine her being called anything else now. It was weird for a few weeks but that's not long in the grand scheme of a lifetime regretting your child's name. 15 weeks is nothing, just a bit of embarrassment on your part in changing the name but no logistical difficulties.

category12 · 20/10/2019 18:51

If you're regretting your choice, then yes, change it. It happens more often than you'd imagine.

Chloe8823 · 20/10/2019 18:53

To be honest, I'd leave it. Emily is lovely

MondeoFan · 20/10/2019 18:54

I would change it if that's really what you feel. 15 weeks is still young
For context my DD has just started school and there's 4 Emily's in the reception year split over 3 classes

rainingallday · 20/10/2019 18:56

@seaandsand83

OP is NOT asking for opinions on her name choice!! I don't understand why people feel the need to be so rude.

Tough shit. Post on a very popular message forum and you will get a lot of different opinions and suggestions and posts that you do NOT like.

And this is a case of being cruel to be kind.

The more people there are who give their honest and frank opinion - that Meadow is a ludicrous name for a child - the more likely the OP is to stick with Emily, and not inflict her daughter with such a ludicrous name.

I cant see Meadow being bullied by classmates Sparkles, Apples and Lunar over her name, but of course it still is something to consider.

Don't kid yourself @F1oridasunshine that the name MEADOW will be oh-so-fashionable and 'normal' in 15-20 years time, because it won't.

And neither will APPLE even though a poster upthread is trying to convince themselves (and you) otherwise. Nor Sparkles and Lunar! Seriously who would call their kids such daft names???!! They are always going to ridiculous names for a child, and even more ridiculous for an adult.

Stop kidding yourself. MEADOW is a terrible name to inflict on a child. Why on earth do you think people have been taking the piss and mocking it? Seems harsh, but they know deep down, that it's awful, and they actually did you a favour by changing your mind for you.

For the love of God, do NOT change that poor child's name - just DON'T. Sad

My DC and their mates all range from their early 20s to mid 30s, and this generation rips the shit out of yoo-neek names. Trust me, in one to two decades time, MEADOW will get the shit ripped out of her too. (If you are bonkers enough to change her name to Meadow now!!!)

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