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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wanting to change DD's first name WIBU

340 replies

F1oridasunshine · 20/10/2019 16:04

I've NC as this could be potentially outing if we go ahead with it.

Before DD was born me and DP had 2 names; Emily and Meadow. Meadow was by far our preferred name.

We were ridiculed for liking Meadow and told DD could get bullied so called DD Emily despite having reservations.

Although we like the name Emily, it is quite common. We did want something slightly different from a tradition name but thought the name would've grown on us by now but it hasn't and we both feel really disappointed we never stuck with our first choice.

We have discussed changing her name by deedpole to Meadow keeping Emily as a middle name.

Can I ask opinions on this? Are we being silly for considering this or should we just accept our choice and stick with Emily. I really want to change it but DP is worried about it now we have told friends and family her name.

So WWBU to change it?

DD is 15 wks old.

OP posts:
Buddytheelf85 · 20/10/2019 21:24

I know you didn’t ask for opinions on the name OP, but for what it’s worth I think Emily is a lovely, timeless, elegant and classy name. I can’t say I think the same about Meadow. And it does irk me that people seem to want to give boys traditional names (presumably because you have to keep a man’s future success in mind!!) but seem happy to give girls ‘yoonique’ names.

I think in your position I’d leave her official name as it is and nickname her Meadow. It’s a very cute nickname.

Wheat2Harvest · 20/10/2019 21:26

'One man went to mow, went to mow a meadow'

If you call her Meadow I think she is going to get this on a regular basis once she starts school.

ultrablue · 20/10/2019 21:30

To me Emily Meadow, flows better than Meadow Emily. If it was me I'd add Meadow as her middle name and call her by that.

RolytheRhino · 20/10/2019 21:31

One man went to mow, went to mow a meadow'

One man and his dog Spot (woof!) went to mow a meadow...

I'd forgotten about this. Now it's going to be in my head all evening.

Original poster
F1oridasunshine · 20/10/2019 22:04

@rainingallday apologies, I've been a bit behind with reading the posts. I've been helping DP make dinner and do the dishes Grin
Please, you dont have to apologise, it's all in jest. I'd prefer the thread to be light hearted. I hope you have a lovely night out Smile

If you love the name so much, why didn't you use it at all?

Partly over what my DM said, partly over knowing it is an unusual name and partly over DP thinking Emily went better with her surname, I think they both go with it just fine.

@crimsonlake I'm currently doing my degree in primary teaching. I'm also aware of all the weird and wonderful names children are being given now which is one of the reasons I dont see Meadow as being all that far out there.

Some names are growers as well

It was originally DP who loved the name and insisted on giving it to our DD. It just grew on me over time and I really like it now.

Because kids will always find something to bully about, whether it be a name or a nose or hair or trainers.

Unfortunately that is so true. My 19 yo DD was badly bullied at school. She has a big standard traditional name Grin

OP didn't ask for opinions on the name only on changing it.

That's ok, I guess I put the name out there to see the response as well. I have enjoyed reading everyone's opinions. The delivery of some of the opinions has been brutal Grin but I'm a big girl.

OP posts:
Original poster
F1oridasunshine · 20/10/2019 22:14

*bog standard traditional name Smile

OP posts:
Notajogger · 20/10/2019 22:17

I think a name can be limiting and cause people to make inaccurate assumptions about you. - this. It would be hard as an adult to be stuck with the name "Meadow" - particularly in any kind of professional job. I'd leave the legal name as is, at least then she has the choice when she's older.

I can't imagine a 30-something, ranging up to a 90 year old, called meadow. Easier for her to be able to make that choice, she's the one who would have to live with it!

LellyMcKelly · 20/10/2019 22:24

Are you really going to change your kid’s name to Meadow? Can you not just leave it as Emily and call her Meadow as a nickname? She’ll thank you for it when she’s older and has to get a job where she needs to be taken seriously.

Italiangreyhound · 20/10/2019 22:30

15 weeks is nothing. Do it if you want to.

but personally, Meadow doesn't sound great to me, but it's you and your baby who matter.

Italiangreyhound · 20/10/2019 22:35

I'm sure you've looked at www.ukdp.co.uk/name-change-birth-certificate-england-and-wales/

"Changing a Forename
The law allows for a change to a child's forenames to be added to the birth register, provided the new forenames were given either in baptism or by regular use within the first 12 months of the birth being registered.

Forename changes may only be made once in the birth register. If your child has been baptised within twelve months of the birth registration, only the baptismal names may be added to the register and not another name of your choice."

But i must agree with others, that Meadow is not a name that I'd pick and may not be as welcome when she is older.

HerRoyalNotness · 20/10/2019 22:36

If you prefer meadow then do it. It’s not anyone else’s business. I regret DD2s name even though I love the meaning, but too late for us to change it now

Heartburn888 · 20/10/2019 22:40

I think if you are to change it, sooner the better.

I knew a girl who changed her daughters name from Sarah to Louise and her kid was like 1.5 years old. Couldn’t imagine the confusion the poor girl went through so I’d say do it if you feel you must but do it soon if you are going to

YouFellAsleeep · 20/10/2019 22:49

Meadow is ridiculous. It’s not a name. All very well saying she can go by her middle name when she’s older but then why should she have to make sure to tell everyone she’s now known as Emily? And by that point people will be used to calling her Meadow and she’ll no doubt still get people calling her that.

TwiddleMuff · 20/10/2019 22:58

"My DC and their mates all range from their early 20s to mid 30s, and this generation rips the shit out of yoo-neek names. Trust me, in one to two decades time, MEADOW will get the shit ripped out of her too. (If you are bonkers enough to change her name to Meadow now!!!)"

How awful. I hope I do a better job of instilling manners and empathy in my children.

I love Meadow, it's a great name. Also thought of Sopranos.

Any name you choose will have its detractors. Honestly, anything. Whether it's Sarah or Chardonney.

My children have "different" names and no one has ever made fun of them, btw. I hope they never run into @rainingallday's children.

TwiddleMuff · 20/10/2019 23:04

BTW, for anyone weighing in with the tired "but Meadow will never be a high court judge" argument, I give you...

Pepsi Vandyck. [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marijuana_Pepsi_Vandyck]]. Not a high court judge, but a successful and PHD educated woman who has studied the impact of names on careers (and found they have no impact). She's featured in a Freakanomics podcast that is well worth a listen.

LaIr7 · 20/10/2019 23:07

Change it. Lesson for pregnant people, go with what you want! I sometimes snigger are people who refuse to share their names but it’s actually a good idea to prevent this

spatchcock · 20/10/2019 23:17

Change it. I went with the safe and boring option and I've always (secretly - would never tell DD!) regretted it.

Meadow is great! And there's a whole world out there, with hugely varied and interesting names. Not everyone is a snob who snickers at names.

Ce7913 · 20/10/2019 23:35

It's a perfectly lovely name.

Just change it, and learn your lesson about giving the opinion of others more weight than your own..

CravingCheese · 20/10/2019 23:36

TwiddleMuff

Pepsi Vandyck... Studies the impact of names. That's pretty awesome. 😅

There's also a female reporter called Krystal Ball...
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krystal_Ball

Ce7913 · 20/10/2019 23:38

Adding:

But changing it needs to happen now, not later.

Names like this are now and will be far less out of the ordinary than they were in previous generations.

NavyBerry · 20/10/2019 23:47

Will she ever need to say that her name has been changed and put Emily in forms anyway?

Feilin · 20/10/2019 23:52

My friends teenage DD is called Meadow. Its a beautiful name and really suits her. Go for it if you really arent happy.

Lhastingsmua · 21/10/2019 00:48

OP, I’m 22 and don’t like the name Meadow - it’s not necessarily an age thing.

As someone who has bitter experience of having a weird name, at least put the bloody thing as a middle name so she has the first choice of using Emily if she prefers. I changed my name by deed poll in the end, having a normal middle name doesn’t make that much of a difference as most organisations/jobs etc will refer to you by your first name as default which is a problem if you don’t actually like your first name.

Lhastingsmua · 21/10/2019 00:56

In my opinion, the only sort of adult that could pull off Meadow would be upper-middle class from a generationally wealthy family, who ends up studying Art at LCF then working in fashion merchandising whilst gentrifying Brixton

If she doesn’t fit that aesthetic (wealthy, posh accent, arty) then her name will cause issues outside of the bubble of her family

Derbee · 21/10/2019 02:08

Meadow sounds to me like a grubby adult who wears a lot of hemp and homemade clothes, lives in a yurt and has totally wild children. Maybe whittles wood or knits funny stuff for a bit of cash. Not a positive image. But may not matter for future job applications, which is a positive

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