AIBU to think he is old enough to have checked the door?

[CowgirlBride]

So we moved into a new house about 4 weeks ago, front door latch is a bit dodgy and will sometimes stick meaning you have to check that it is shut properly and if not give it a jiggle. We know it needs replacing but it does still work as long as you check and there are other jobs that are more pressing so we haven't got around to it yet.

DStepS (13) is staying this weekend, went out today - left at lunch time and came back about 6pm so several hours. When we got back the front door was wide open - Nothing has been taken fortunately. DSS was the last one out and clearly didn't check the door. He has been told before that the lock is dodgy and needs checking (the last time he was reminded was actually yesterday!)

DH is all very much "well no harm done" but I feel that was more luck than anything else and we could have come back to find our new house robbed!

AIBU to expect a 13 year old to be responsible enough to check a front door is shut properly when leaving the house? Particularly as he was reminded of this yesterday? Or should I have reminded him again or gone back and checked myself?

Your insurance will be invalid with a faulty lock.

I'm with your partner on this - no harm done. Just remind him of the need to be careful.

I think you need to calm down a bit about this. You sound angry with all of your exclamation marks.

Fix your fucking lock

Sometimes it is like SP cannot wait for their SC to fuck up so they can say "right can I go batshit at him now? Can we ban him from the house?". FFS

Why on earth haven't you got the lock sorted yet? Seems bloody silly to have a known security risk going on for a month and not prioritise it when it could probably invalidate your insurance.

Give your head a wobble and sort that out instead of kicking off about a teen forgetting/not doing it right.

To me, common sense is asking a 13 year old that they had checked the door before you drove off

In ten years my kids rarely if ever locked the door. Kids never do.
Mostly because they are kids and do not think beyond themselves
And in 30 years they will be on here saying, we never had to lock the door when I was a kid. And someone like me will.come on and say, no, but I bet your parents did.
Check it yourself

Granted yes we have had time to get used to it, but IMO giving a door - ANY door - a cursory push to check it had shut properly is common sense!

Don't be ridiculous. YABVU. The door is broken, get it fixed. Someone who doesn't live there every day will not remember to 'jiggle' it. And he's 13, he forgot to check because all the other doors he has to close aren't broken and close when he does it the first time, so he forgot.

The irony is that you're saying you 'always check' but you didn't this time. Instead you stayed in the car and left a 13-yr-old (who would have been rushing since you and DP were already in the car) to try to remember how to cope with a dodgy lock and to check it. I'm with your DH on this. YABU.
You are also being UR in not getting the lock fixed. As you pointed out, if someone steals everything that will cost you a lot more than getting a new lock. It should be the priority.

Your stepson is irrelevant. Your first and immediate priority on moving to a new house is to change the locks. ALWAYS. You don't know who still has keys to the house, any relative/person known to the previous occupants could have keys that will still unlock your door.

Insurers have minimum security requirements - proper locks on final exit doors, including at least a five lever mortice BS lock (or equivalent) as a minimum when the house is left unoccupied are standard. If you are leaving it on a Yale type lock and not using a five lever mortice lock or the equivalent then you will be in breach of your policy and your insurers will deem your policy invalid in the event of a claim.

This is why I say your stepson is irrelevant. The bigger picture is your front door doesn't meet minimum standards as it is and you need to sort that ASAP as a matter of urgency.

And I've been that twat and gone out without checking the door. My neighbour across the road called out "Are you leaving your door like that?!" I looked back at it and it was wide open If my neighbour hadn't pointed it out I would have left it open, I didn't realise I hadn't closed it (let alone locked it). I haven't made that mistake again. Most people slip up sometimes...

What TheNoodle says.

Fix the lock, what could be more important?

If you are so concerned about his ability to remember that you keep reminding him, get the door fixed!

I think in general terms he's old enough to be careful about checking doors; but most doors don't have this problem, and it can take time to automatize dealing with a door that doesn't work in the standard way. . I know I've made such mistakes myself with my own door when it was giving problems (fortunately no robberies occurred). I would just keep reminding him, and to be honest the best solution is to get the door fixed or replaced as soon as possible.

Sorry, I meant get the lock fixed or replaced. I assume that it's not the entire door that's defective!

Just fix the door!

At first I thought he had gone out by himself when no one else was in the house but then it turns out you were waiting for him in the car. One of you should have checked the door or asked him if he had checked it was closed properly. While a 13 year old should be beginning to be responsible for things like this, this sort of thing goes clean out of their heads if not reminded. Nor do they have the life experience to know why it's important to check the house is secure (no first hand experience of burglaries etc).

And just fix the door so that this can't happen again. It should have been one of your priorities when you noticed it wasn't working properly.

get it fixed!