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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think he is old enough to have checked the door?

92 replies

CowgirlBride · 19/10/2019 19:52

So we moved into a new house about 4 weeks ago, front door latch is a bit dodgy and will sometimes stick meaning you have to check that it is shut properly and if not give it a jiggle. We know it needs replacing but it does still work as long as you check and there are other jobs that are more pressing so we haven't got around to it yet.

DStepS (13) is staying this weekend, went out today - left at lunch time and came back about 6pm so several hours. When we got back the front door was wide open - Nothing has been taken fortunately. DSS was the last one out and clearly didn't check the door. He has been told before that the lock is dodgy and needs checking (the last time he was reminded was actually yesterday!)

DH is all very much "well no harm done" but I feel that was more luck than anything else and we could have come back to find our new house robbed!

AIBU to expect a 13 year old to be responsible enough to check a front door is shut properly when leaving the house? Particularly as he was reminded of this yesterday? Or should I have reminded him again or gone back and checked myself?

OP posts:
Nannewnannew · 19/10/2019 21:24

TARSCOUT. I’m not sure why you are surprised at a 13 year old being left at home alone for several hours? Many of the 13 year old boys I’ve met have been more than capable of being left alone.

LucyAutumn · 19/10/2019 21:24

Maybe putting a note on the door to remind people as they're leaving?

KnifeAngel · 19/10/2019 21:34

The lock should have been fixed as a priority when you moved in. You as adults are responsible.

ispepsiokay · 19/10/2019 21:37

You've lived there for 4 weeks, fix the door.

flouncyfanny · 19/10/2019 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spoonyJoe · 19/10/2019 22:00

Fix the door! I can't think of any job more important that you couldn't get round to it in four weeks.

My next door neighbour just got broken in to through a faulty patio door and they cleared their entire house out. From their iron to the cars off the drive and they aren't getting any insurance as they knew it was faulty.

EyUpMeDuck · 19/10/2019 22:00

I don’t think you are being massively unreasonable, but I am one for checking doors etc.. when I leave the house. You should buy an electric door lock. They are brilliant and you can check via the app that the door is actually locked.

Original poster
CowgirlBride · 19/10/2019 22:12

@EyUpMeDuck where do I get one??

OP posts:
gamerwidow · 19/10/2019 22:35

and who on earth always pushes a door to check it is locked!
Me but I've got OCD I don't think it's necessarily what normals do.

Original poster
CowgirlBride · 19/10/2019 22:45

@gamerwidow I always check and I definitely don't have OCD! I did even before we moved. I thought it was just common sense - it only takes a second when you're leaving the house!

OP posts:
CSIblonde · 19/10/2019 22:58

That just wouldn't be on any teenagers radar. I'd have prioritised home security over other stuff tbh, spate of burglaries nearby has made me really nervous.

PurpleFlower1983 · 19/10/2019 23:01

Getting the lock fixed should have been high up on your to do list, just get it sorted.

cookingonwine · 19/10/2019 23:05

I am with you ... the child should know how to shut a door ... it's not rocket science.

Wildorchidz · 19/10/2019 23:30

They have known for a month that the lock is faulty.

Wildorchidz · 19/10/2019 23:30

It’s not rocket science to prioritise getting it replaced.

KnifeAngel · 19/10/2019 23:32

What would have been common sense OP would have been to get the lock fixed. If the door wasn't shut you could have been burgled. You won't take responsibility. I have never checked a door is locked. Why would you need to?

Northernparent68 · 19/10/2019 23:37

Chill, He made a mistake, as everyone does.

myself2020 · 20/10/2019 06:30

Of course he should have checked! its a very uk phenomenon that 13 year olds aren’t responsible for anything (for what its worth, my 6 year old checks...)

seaweedandmarchingbands · 20/10/2019 06:42

He’s 13. It’s not his house (although it is his home). Of course he won’t remember. Get it fixed and stop blaming him.

TellySavalashairbrush · 20/10/2019 06:46

Getting the door fixed would have been my first job after moving in. If this is an irritant, be prepared for when he’s 18 and comes back to yours after a night out at 3am having forgotten to take his keys (I talk from bitter experience!)

Monty27 · 20/10/2019 06:49

How many times has DSS been there and given responsibility for the security of the front door?

melj1213 · 20/10/2019 06:53

You've been in the house 4 weeks but how many times - and for how long - has your DSS visited? Also does he have his own key/is he used to locking up?

If he only comes EOW then he'd only have been in the house for two weekend visits so I could see why it wouldnt be habit to double check the door yet. If its 50/50 custody then he would have been at the house for 2 weeks so it should be more habit for him to check.

Also he may not be used to locking up if he doesnt have a house key for your house or his DMs or if hes not used to your set up. When I was a kid my parents house had two locks - one Yale latch and one dead bolt. We were always supposed to lock the dead bolt when we went out but my siblings and I would often just leave it on the Yale lock when we were running late for the school bus because the door was still secure. Fast forward to moving house when we were teens and the new house only had a dead bolt lock. It took weeks for us to all get into the habit of locking the dead bolt as we were so used to having the security of the Yale back up.

DameSquashalot · 20/10/2019 06:56

I'm.always forgetting to lock our front door. Luckily we're in a flat, so the main door is locked.

I'm so used to living with doors that need a key to be opened from the outside. DH doesn't like double locking when we're home "in case we have to get out quick"

stucknoue · 20/10/2019 07:33

It happens, just remind him and suggest always checking it.

SummersMumma · 20/10/2019 07:34

Sorry this has happened but 13 yo is still a child, am sure did not do on purpose or with malicious intent and sadly accidents happen. Fix the lock xx

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