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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset over no invite?

66 replies

hattybattyscatty · 19/10/2019 19:36

I have been seeing someone,and well anyway I found out he has been sleeping with other people and we were never exclusive so I have no reason apparently to be mad??
Now we speak every day,he has a high level of contact.
Tonight he texts saying
"Just going over (mutual friends ) house for drinks with a few people then off to the pub )
I text saying I had no plans and was home alone ..thinking he might say oh come over too.
Nope..
Clearly if I'm there he won't be able to pull or flirt or whatever.
I feel like telling him to get lost when he texts tomorrow.
I feel like a massive idiot.
He knows I have feelings for him.
Aibu to be upset ?

OP posts:
CAG12 · 19/10/2019 19:40

He sounds like a grade A bellend. Stop talking to him

Ginger1982 · 19/10/2019 19:44

YABU for still caring when he clearly has a completely different view of the relationship.' If he cared about you in the slightest he wouldn't be sleeping around.

Get rid.

ragged · 19/10/2019 19:45

You can do better, OP. Let this guy go.

AngusThermopyle · 19/10/2019 19:46

You are utterly wasting your time with him, and he is wasting yours. Chin up, move on.

1Morewineplease · 19/10/2019 19:48

Let him go. You deserve better. I’m sorry OP. 💐

MrHaroldFry · 19/10/2019 19:49

You are not unreasonable to be a little hurt. You ARE unreasonable if you continue to 'date' this person.
You are his option, not his priority. Block and move on.

Mrsmememe · 19/10/2019 19:49

If you’re not exclusive and he’s open about seeing other people then to be honest I think you’re being a bit bunny boiler expecting him to invite you.
Enjoy your time home alone or go out with your own friends. Don’t get too clingy or it’ll scare him even further.

Jupiters · 19/10/2019 19:49

Cut your losses with him.

wildcherries · 19/10/2019 19:51

Was there not an almost identical thread the other day from this OP?

Isitnearlyweekend · 19/10/2019 19:52

I’m sure you deserve better than this. Let him go.

hattybattyscatty · 19/10/2019 19:52

@wildcherries yes it's on the relationship section,
This has just happened tonight with the no invite
Just wanted peoples opinions if I'm being unreasonable to be upset.
I've put the update on my other thread too.

OP posts:
simplekindoflife · 19/10/2019 19:55

He's a time waster, get rid!

NaviSprite · 19/10/2019 20:00

Yup - it won’t get better, it sucks and it hurts like hell, but don’t waste any more of your precious time on him @hattybattyscatty

Walnutwhipster · 19/10/2019 20:02

He's shagging other people but you're upset about not being invited on a night out?

Thingsdogetbetter · 19/10/2019 20:02

Give this up! You want him, he wants to shag around. You're actually breaking your own heart again and again. Stop bloody expecting him to suddenly step up because you want him too. Your 'want' is not that powerful. He's not going to change and he's been honest about that. Stop this pathetic longing and wishing and hoping and moping over him. Part of being a grown up is accepting that things you cannot change. You cannot change him into a person who wants to be your boyfriend. Accept that, stop contact. Stop hurting yourself over and over. Work out why you can't let this fantasy go.

Pinkflipflop85 · 19/10/2019 20:03

When will you finally get the message to give up on this guy? You are just an easy shag to him, nothing more.

Lifeisabeach09 · 19/10/2019 20:05

Contact a friend, go out and flirt/pull yourself.

Stop putting yourself in this position--you give him all the power.

Woman up!

Kaddm · 19/10/2019 20:07

This is why ghosting was invented.
Do it to him!

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 19/10/2019 20:08

Why aren't you exclusive? Hell would freeze over before I shared my lover with someone else. Are you happy to share? If not, you need to tell him.

Oysterbabe · 19/10/2019 20:11

This is going nowhere, just bin him.

Bluerussian · 19/10/2019 20:11

He sees your relationship as fairly casual, I'm sure he likes you but isn't ready for a committed relationship. You feel differently.

Time for you to cool off. There are more fish in the sea.

Ginfordinner · 19/10/2019 20:16

Why are you still with him? He isn't that into you. You are just another someone to keep his bed warm.

Celebelly · 19/10/2019 20:16

Read 'He's Just Not That In To You'. And realise that he is, indeed, just not that in to you.

supersop60 · 19/10/2019 20:16

He is wasting your time and energy. Find somebody better.

thisneverendingsummer · 19/10/2019 20:18

@hattybattyscatty

Wow what a horrible person he sounds.

I think you know the answer my lovely.

Dump, block, ghost.

I think cunt is the only fitting word here.

@Walnutwhipster

He's shagging other people but you're upset about not being invited on a night out?

Yep, WW has a point.

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