AIBU as an adult child living at home?

[bunnybird]

I recently started a very demanding grad job. It just so happens my first placement is in London and not too far from my family home. It made sense that I would move back home for the next 6 months at least. I contribute by paying a couple of bills (I insisted) and I also do my bit around the house re cooking, cleaning.

I'm not very happy right now - I've very recently been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My parents aren't aware of the full extent of my problems (ie that I've just started taking sertraline). I'm very good at putting a brave face on. Anyway, for the most part, the living arrangement works well but our family dynamic has fallen right back to my pre-uni days.

Last weekend I had the most intense anxiety (I contemplated ringing 101 as it was so intolerable) but at the same time I had to scrub the house clean and play hostess for a distant family member. It really knocked me out physically and mentally. The same thing is happening again this weekend. I honestly just want to be in bed today and rest/stop thinking about the job I hate.

I know it's weird navigating family dynamics when adult kids move back in but I'm curious how a similar situation would be handled in other households. In my family, it wouldn't really be accepted for me not to help out with the cleaning/spend time with the random family member.

You seem to regard moving back home as more convenient for you because of your mental health rather than because it's close to your job, tbh. And because of this i actually think it's quite unfair of you not to tell your parents about it. Do you think they wouldn't be sympathetic/understanding?

Also why do you have to scrub the whole house? I guess you mean your parents want a deep clean and you're all doing it? (at least I'd hope that).

Your arrangement for paying a couple of bills wouldn't work for me (I have adult children living at home). I would much prefer to work out a fixed weekly/monthly rate, and agree the expectations of how much you will be expected to participate in things like cleaning (one of my offspring opts out of this, the other does more and is paid the going cleaning rate - this works out well for all of us)

it's good that you're working on your MH issues, been to the GP are working on your friendship circle, but I think you need to confide in your parents. At least if they are unsympathetic you can look into moving out.