Written off at age 9?

[Notcool1984]

Feel so bad for my DS. After years of shyness he has suddenly decided he wants to try some sports clubs and even start competing (no idea where it’s come from!), but it seems at age 9 he has no chance. The sports he wants to try, tennis and football, have pathways locally and by age 9 the level you need to be at is much higher than complete beginner. He likes swimming and climbing but those are individual sports (swim clubs here are v competitive to get into) and I feel so bad for him. Already the school sports are making selections and same names again and again get picked. Feel like as his confidence suddenly builds he has been left behind :(

Agree that 9 is too old to start to learn to swim competitively, my DS was burnt out by 11! I would suggest martial arts, rugby, kayaking or climbing if you can easily access any of these sports near you.

You say swim clubs are competitive to get into - what stage is he at? Has he actually been for a trial?

My daughter is loving swim club she joined at 10, they aren't allowed to compete before 9 anyway. Pmsl at the most boring thing in the world - it's a lot more pleasant than freezing my arse off on the edge of football pitches. Now that is boring. All the 5am guff it isn't compulsory at the one dd is at to swim in the morning unless you are in a performance squad, not juniors/ development.

“Teateaandmoretea.”Around here they start to swim competitively at 8.

I forget to mention my own sport of hockey. Around 8 or 9 is an ideal age to start to play.

I was very very average at most sports. I started a particular sport at ten or eleven. Something clicked and by the time I was forty I'd won eight international titles. Pity it wasn't a well paid sport but there you go.

My point is there's something out there for all of us, the hard bit is finding what it is.

Hey Op- there is hope!
It gets better at high school- your son will find his tribe to play football with, for a start.
I have a shy but keen-on-sports son and he's 13.
it's been frustrating over the years as his reticence to join anything has got in the way of his aptitude for sport.
now he's at high school and things have slowly improved: a lot of it ad hoc- football every break sort of thing but also he does after school badminton with some other sweet (quiet!) lads from his year (free activity)
He's doing a sport D of E at high school (can't believe he's opted for this) and he will be specialising in tennis, which he's barely played before! It was going to be football but I think most of his friends are doing tennis
So, he's about to join a local tennis club with his mate, get some tuition and just go from there.

I'm thrilled! This has all come from him and i'm sure he'll be fine. i know he's basically a beginner but as he's sporty i reckon he'll catch up quickly via playing with friends, club membership, free council courts etc. It's just an unorthodox route. Your son will find his way and he's got one hell of a lead on mine!!

Do they not have b and c teams

Football is competitive, but it also has a lot do do with practice, having fun and actually size. DS 9 plays football several times a week (two fixtures and one training outside of school in addition to school clubs), so if he really likes it, sign him up for several classes a week if you can. Holiday camps (like now half term) are a mixture of ages and abilities and very inclusive, good way to get into it.

If your DS is tall, he has a clear advantage. My DS is very good, but short and skinny, so is held back compared to stronger boys who are harder to tackle when they are running at speed and can kick the ball harder.

Good luck!!

In the summer I would suggest cricket. Most kids start that a little older anyway.

Running? Parkrun ever Saturday 5k or junior parkrun on a Sunday 2k

Tall, broad & thin. Great for tennis. Look now for a half-term short course. Don't be put off by claims of expensive unless live in SE. Tennis squad lessons (all abilities at that age) were less per hour than group learn to swim lessons with the local council. There will be some children who are good already but there will be plenty who just go once a week and many don't start club tennis until secondary school.

There is a new thing (can't remember name) that is a triathalon of tennis, squash & table tennis and that has brought some older beginners into tennis. It seems round here that no-one has all the three sports already so get him to start all three low level and he could soon climb the ranks !

Also to say about hockey DS is now yr 11 and 6ft. As he says the Netherlands are a top hockey nation and they're all tall.

mushy they can start here at 7, but the point is you don't have to as long as you are the right standard. Most galas you have to be 9 to actually compete in, it's about prep prior to that and so it really is possible to start too early imo. I really doubt that swim clubs differ that much tbh. The one dd is in has national level swimmers. I think people make out it's harder than it is to get in because their dc have, personally.

ooh lovegrows that triathalon thing looks interesting.

and, Op- sorry i haven't read the thread but looks like your son might be tall? which will help.
my son is a summer-born shorty! at 13 he has friends/peers who sound and look like men! and yet, as i said before, he's finally finding his feet in terms of sport so i'm damn certain yours will.

• triathlon-

Yorkshire I obviously can't spell!

Bet tickets to watch are ridiculously cheap if anyone wants to see what it's all about.
twitter.com/UKracketlon/status/1181937164852043783

If you can afford private tennis lessons, start him off weekly and get him to the level where he can join a group training squad. I don’t think 9 is too late to start at all.

i can't spell either, lovegrows!! and thank you for the info will def look it up. i also think hockey sounds v interesting- some fab suggestions from you!

I hear that Lionel Messi is thought to be quite good at football despite his small stature!

You can’t compete in a sport when you’re a complete beginner OP, he’d have no idea who or what level to compete at for a start.
It doesn’t make sense, that’s like saying, let’s have a chess tournament and one of us doesn’t know how to play chess.

He needs individual lessons perhaps even 1:1. When proficient, he can join a club and compete.

@minipie that’s okay, don’t follow the herd, get her into an arts club or musical instrument lessons.

How about athletics. I know it sounds individual not team, but although the events are individual, the competitions are about the team at junior level, so you get a bit of both. Most kids don't start til they are 9 as well. They learn to bond and support each other as a team

He's not written off, but you need to explain to him, no one just starts and competes right away, irrelevant of age. You need to paractice and learn your sport before you start competing. Irrelevant of age.

Tennis Clubs are usually friendly and less popular generally than Football with boys .What about Running Clubs or Athletics .I thinkyou have to be a bit realistic though ,if your DS is new to something ,you may have to realise that at first he needs to start from the bottom up (possibly with younger children) and gradually improve ! Not many children get picked for School teams unless they are very good .

Rebecca Adlington started at 9 years old. She did alright with her gold olympic medal. The only person writing him off just now is you. Lots of the ones that started much younger will quit as they find their own path and develop their own interests.

I agree with PP - look around for a sport that is more niche. It's a heartbreaking fact of footballing life that by age 9/10 boys are already divided up into the "potential elite"/ mediocre Sunday league players of tomorrow/ also-rans. (And trust me - just be glad he's not in the "potential elite" category, because they are the ones who really, really get screwed over by the system - enough time training that their education gets messed up, and they still don't end up as pro players at the end of it: www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2017/oct/10/football-club-academies-rejection-boys)

Incidentally, my DS is still playing - he's in the middle category of "destined to be an okay Sunday league/pub player as an adult". I agree with others that it's worth looking round for a decent club with a coach who values giving everyone a decent run out every week and nice parents. They do exist (but are probably outnumbered by the ultra-pushy clubs).

Rugby is worth considering - much more inclusive in my experience. But by age 9 (the age my DS started to play) you'll have kids who've been playing touch rugby since the age of 5 and the newcomers... and as they get older the first and second 15 as teens will more or less be determined by that. (Also as a parent you spend life on the touchline in a perpetual state of fear - because the injury risk is horrendous).

If he swims well, what about a water based sport like kayaking? Or a team sport that usually starts older, such as hockey?

Gosh, maybe it is me writing him off. I suppose I feel guilty that he hasn’t had the opportunities of his peers (he was soo shy, still is pretty shy but a lot better). I just realised when I started looking into things he requested that the options are already looking slim (plus he was disappointed recently to finally put himself forward for a school sport but to not make the team - which is kind of obvious as the ones who did had been doing it out of school or other similar sports). He is tall though and quite fit from climbing and cycling, swimming recreationally, although hasn’t learnt to be in a team and lacks confidence and skills in specific sports. There really has been a lot of helpful answers here and I will have a good think and chat with him!