Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Written off at age 9?

137 replies

Notcool1984 · 19/10/2019 11:46

Feel so bad for my DS. After years of shyness he has suddenly decided he wants to try some sports clubs and even start competing (no idea where it’s come from!), but it seems at age 9 he has no chance. The sports he wants to try, tennis and football, have pathways locally and by age 9 the level you need to be at is much higher than complete beginner. He likes swimming and climbing but those are individual sports (swim clubs here are v competitive to get into) and I feel so bad for him. Already the school sports are making selections and same names again and again get picked. Feel like as his confidence suddenly builds he has been left behind :(

OP posts:

WaxOnFeckOff · 19/10/2019 13:51

What is his physical build or what is it likely to be?

I'd try to choose something that obviously he would enjoy, but also that he has a decent chance of being good at.

For example the National Rowing centre here was recently trying to recruit older teens/young adults of a particular height and build as that was more important than experience.

If he is likely to be tall then look at rowing or basketball rather than judo which is better for average heights due to weight distribution. Basketball is actually quite a good one even if he isn't that tall as it's a growing sport.

Definitely not too late to start, just maybe not competitive football or tennis which do tend to start earlier. Rugby rather than football, squash rather than tennis maybe? fencing?

Have you looked for come and try sessions with local clubs?

happytoday73 · 19/10/2019 13:57

Football wise try a big team/set up... They will have a number of teams and he can train with the lowest. He might not be able to play proper matches till next season but will have most of a season to get better and if I'm right age wise they will need some extras for under 11s so could be perfect timing!

Tattooedmama · 19/10/2019 13:58

My son started playing golf 3 years ago when he was 10, total beginner and never swung a club in his life (apart from crazy golf) in that time hes developed amazingly and competes in many competitions.
He also does football but he started when he was young and progressed through the years.

Another vote for martial arts to get his confidence up

aintnothinbutagstring · 19/10/2019 14:18

If theres an ice rink near you, boys are always welcome, especially in figure skating where they are somewhat of a rarity! Figure skating you do have to start relatively young to be competition standard but I think that is more relevant to girls as their bodies change more during puberty, I think there are a fair number of late male bloomers in skating. DDs male coach who reached European level started at 11. Ice hockey is also very popular, and probably more inclusive than football for example.

CalmConfident · 19/10/2019 14:18

I logged in especially to say hockey and parkrun! I see quite a few folk beat me to those suggestions :)

prettybird · 19/10/2019 14:21

I'd also second rugby as an inclusive sport which ensures that everyone gets to play. Childrens' shapes and sizes change so much that they can't tell what position they are going to end up in, so need to develop them all

Another one which might sound strange (and depends on whether he can ride ) is cycling: road cycling is a weird mix of the individual and the team, because if you aren't prepared to work together, you'll never in a position to do well as an individual. British Cycling (or rather, local clubs ) runs races around the UK (crits: circuit races that are on closed roads/specialised circuits). Actually, the road cycling season will have finished, so unless you can get to a velodrome, it would be cyclo-cross (muddy, cold - and more of an individual sport) or mountain biking.

YeOldeTrout · 19/10/2019 14:22

There has to be something he can do for fun.

CalmConfident · 19/10/2019 14:26

Hockey is great, smaller communities, all age groups and abilities. There is a mix of long term and newbies. You could even try back to hockey for yourself

I have just waved off my DH and oldest DS who are now playing together in the men’s team for the first time this season. A real milestone and lovely to see them enjoying it.

Also hockey has a good girl / boy balance plus proper pathways for developing players

As for parkrun...that is what I do whilst they play hockey !! We have lots of younger runners at main parkrun (sat 9am, 5k) and junior parkrun (sun 9am, 2k). Another supportive community, free and with real fitness and confidence building benefits

QueenofLouisiana · 19/10/2019 14:30

Nine is a great age to start competitive swimming. Although it is an individual sport, good clubs foster a team or squad spirit- swimmers support other swimmers. There are also team competitions, in which each swimmer plays a vital part. DS started competing at 9 and has got a lot out of it.

If you go down this route, choose a club which suits you both- as you’ve identified, some are really competitive, some less do. Others have a range of squads to suit a range of abilities. Ours encompasses national level through to still developing basic strikes and stamina, with those who want to swim together to stay fit and compete less also having a squad. All are welcomed and encouraged to join in galas as appropriate.

ArsenicNLace · 19/10/2019 14:31

This happened with my son. Suddenly decided he wanted to play football but every club was full with boys seemingly starting at the clubs as soon as they could walk! No one seemed remotely interested in letting him play because as you say at 9 he was 'over the hill'!

He discovered basket ball and never looked back! As others have said try and find a club in a local area of a 'less popular' sport.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 19/10/2019 14:41

My son was like this. He had four years of karate and was doing some competing but he wanted a team sport. We tried wrestling - disaster! His age and size put him in a weight category where all the boys were skilled. The only thing he learned was where his pain threshold was!
Our local church offered "sportsmanship soccer"- all ages and abilities welcomed and the coaches taught skills to all instead of singling out the best players. After two seasons of training he made it on the school team. That might be a pathway for your son.

LoveGrowsWhere · 19/10/2019 14:48

Another vote for hockey. It's not played in most primaries so children haven't got hundreds of hours experience already. DS joined a club in yr8 and was warmly welcomed. It has been described as football with a stick.

KatyCarrCan · 19/10/2019 14:51

Fencing? You can only start plastic from age 8. When they're 10 or 11 they move to metal fencing so there's usually an influx of beginners at that age too.
I agree with a PP about football. Every team we tried expected the DCs to have been playing for years. Our DS (who actually did start a football club when he was 3 but isn't particularly talented) was miles behind and there was no interest in bringing him up. They were very focused on having the best kids so they could win games.

Rocktheboot · 19/10/2019 14:52

you CANT compete if you are complete beginner

Fatshedra · 19/10/2019 14:55

I took up tennis at 40.
My biggest prob was not having the level of fitness reqd - not rocket science, but I could have joined the park runs, worked out at home.
Don't expect someone else to make DS fit, you could do it : weekly swim , 3x weekly run in the park, do something with sibling/ DF/friend on other days. If a nine year old did something physical daily I think they'd be fit in ,what, 2 or 3 months.

Idontlikeitsomuch · 19/10/2019 14:57

If he wants to do tennis and football, can you find some clubs that is more inclusive? I doubt all the good players started early. He needs to get the confidence and skills to compete with others who started early.

Loveislandaddict · 19/10/2019 14:58

If he wants to compete straight away, then he is running before he can walk. He needs to learn the skills of the sport before he can compete, whether it’s basketball, hockey etc. Surprised you said tennis as I thought that be a good sport to start at nine.

ineedaholidaynow · 19/10/2019 15:03

DS is not great at sport (not very co-ordinated), but he really enjoys hockey and his club have been very supportive.

OP does your DS have to do sport, has he thought about something like cubs? DS too was very shy and scouting has been so beneficial for him.

mcmooberry · 19/10/2019 15:12

If he fancies tennis do any of the clubs nearby run holiday tennis camps? He could do a week at a time and would very quickly improve.

cakeisalwaystheanswer · 19/10/2019 15:29

Age 9 is only green ball tennis, they are not even playing with proper yellow balls yet. If he wants to give competing a go he needs to train more than once a week, probably at least 3 times to get him going. Green ball competitions will be arranged very locally, mixed sexes still at that age or was, and anyone can turn up and get some match practice. There will be lots of local clubs offering coaching don't be put off by one with "pathways". Check the LTA site for local coaches, training and competitions.
There are also quite a few tennis for free training courses about trying to increase participation rates. Despite that tennis is an expensive sport to play seriously, I have probably spent the GDP of Belgium on lessons etc, but that doesn't mean that he shouldn't give it a go for fun and just to see himself improve. If you work at anything you will improve and that is an important lesson to learn in life.

Original poster

Notcool1984 · 19/10/2019 15:29

What great replies thank you. I have lots of reading and ideas to pass by him. I hadn’t thought of athletics but that’s what I did in school and really enjoyed. To pp- He is tall, thin and broad shouldered. I hadn’t thought of hockey for some reason or cricket but I live in a fairly big town so they could be options. I find DS’s school in inclusive with sports. Apart from p.e all the other sports teams and trial and selection and get filled up fast with kids who have prior experience. Which I totally understand, but then leaves my DS in a bit of a catch 22! I tried hard to encourage him at a young age, but he would cry and cling to me, almost hyperventilating and did neither of us any good, although I did sort of foresee this situation!!

OP posts:

Loveislandaddict · 19/10/2019 15:35

Tall and thin - definitely basketball then!

LittleMousewithcloggson · 19/10/2019 15:39

LTA are currently running tennis for kids sessions for beginners. Loads around the country from age 4-11
6 lessons, racket and balls and T shirt all for £25.
Worth giving it a go to see how much he likes it. It is a very expensive sport though if he wants to compete!
Hockey and cross country are great ones for later starters. DD started both at age 9 and a year later is in the school team for CC and county team for hockey

WaxOnFeckOff · 19/10/2019 15:39

Ideal build for swimming, rowing, basketball etc. If he really wants football, has he thought about goalkeeping? Less kids want to do that and they usually have a different training stream. Also look at handball. Triathalon too maybe? Loads of things that he isn't too old for, Football and Tennis really seem to get them in early and it can be a catch up situation, but plenty other sports just looking for enthusiasm and energy.

minipie · 19/10/2019 15:39

I know exactly what you mean OP. DD1 age 7 is not coordinated and tires easily (medical reasons) so we don’t do many extra curricular activities.

I see all her friends doing tennis, hockey, netball, gymnastics and worry that if she ever wants to start in future she will be too far behind to join in, especially as she’s not naturally sporty. The beginners class will be several years younger than her, many of the kids round here (SW London) start these sports at the age of 4!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6