That my other half remains a 15 year old child

[Loopydizzylove]

So I've been with dp for 10 years, 3 kids and multiple ups and downs. The one thing he hasn't stopped is fucking off secretly (as in going to the toilet Nd coming back the next morning) I thought once we had bought our house and settled he would change... Yes I know he hasn't and never planned to, the fact is that I've realised that now. So how do I.... As an unmarried mother of 3 kids, living in my Partner of 10 years bought house approach this without losing everything.

There are worse reasons to grit your teeth through a marriage ceremony.

Honestly right now I'm prepared to take off to a registry office and sit tight for a few months and then take everything.

That's what I would do in this situation.

Does he give you a reason why he does this? It's such odd behavior. I mean, obviously he's doing something nefarious, but what does he say when he gets home?

I'm sorry OP that so many people have jumped in to criticise your decisions, considering you are the first to criticise your decisions and what's done is done.

Hang in there. Enjoy his absences. And get your ducks in a row.

I thought once we had bought our house and settled he would change

Why do so many women make this mistake? Just why?

Just a thought - if you are a student, could the college/university advise you on benefits? Offer any kind of hardship payments or bursaries? Do they have any accommodation that might be suitable for you and the children? Could be worth discussing with someone like the counselling service or even the chaplaincy (whether or not you are religious).

I don't think you can't divorce until a year after marriage and I think a marriage of less then 2 years means assets aren't split equally? Maybe someone else knows more?

Unless things have changed, you would need to be married a fair few years to get the 50 50 split. How much equity is in the property? How expensive is the area you live in? Why on earth were you not put on the house deeds? Personally I would be giving DP one more chance to step up on the condition that you are added as a joint owner of the property. See how he reacts to that!