House Move - IABU?

[DisneyMadeMeDoIt]

I’m 16+4 - have had awful HG (and a million other symptoms- signed off work since BFP)

Live in a city terrace (Large 2 bed) but AWFUL student neighbours (now on both sides 🙄) there’s no sound proofing so we hear EVERYTHING. DH can sleep through it but I can’t and affecting my MH.

We’re looking to move but DH and I can’t agree on anything 😂 budget, area, level of work...etc.

Basically DH prefers houses stretching our budget - I prefer houses very comfortably affordable.
DH prefers close to main roads/towns - I prefer villages (20 mins from city).
DH thinks we can manage a bit of work - I think I’ll be heavily pregnant/ newborn so want a ‘polished’ house.
DH thinks we’ll move again before DC goes to secondary- I think it’s STILL important to be in a good catchment.

The issue is lots of these are direct trade offs - Location- Sqft Space- Price
And I have no idea which of us IBU....

As parents, what will we care about most?

Will I wish I’d compromised on space to be walking distance of a market town centre?
Will we wish we were paying £100-200 less per month for the sake of a 10/20 min drive?
(Both would still have a 30 min commute anyway!)

Will I sit in a nice, spacious, good value village house and feel isolated and miserable during mat leave?
How useful is a play room/down stairs living space?
DH wants to rule out one (lovely) house on the basis it has only two (of the four) bedrooms upstairs. He thinks this wouldn’t be a ‘family house’ even though the living space downstairs is amazing and super high spec/good value.

Please / wise seasoned parents/ share your wisdom with me- what will I wish we’d bought in 2-3 years time?!?!

Did you post about this the other day?

How many kids are you planning to have? I'd say if you can have a ply room / space it's a good idea. We have 2 kids (3rd on the way) and just having our livingroom would be quite restrictive. It's also good to have a separate dining room I've found.

I don't think having two bedrooms downstairs is necessarily an issue personally. Babies are in with your for the first 6 months anyway so even if you say had two kids (depending on age gap as well) you'd be making use of the two upstairs rooms for the majority anyway. Then I'd move you and DH into a downstairs room and have the kids upstairs. Or the kids share maybe

@Mintypea5

🙈 I did post about the students/noise about a week ago. DH was dragging his feet moving and I was annoyed - got some great MN advice and he’s now super proactive! Problem solved!

Only we’ve now realise (not having been parents before) we actually don’t know what we ‘should’ be looking for!! We spent ages saying ‘I want X’ but life with a baby/toddler 🤔🤯

@Mintypea5

Given how unwell I’ve been I’m not sure we’ll have anymore children. Potentially we’ll have I’ve more (she says nauseously sitting beside the loo 😭😂)

*one

Personally I would go walking distance to city life and within good catchment as time flies and next thing you know you'll be looking at schools. My DS turned 3 in summer and we need to apply in Jan for schools as a summer born he starts next September. It will go super quick and life with a newborn can be lonely.

By close to city I do mean close to market village sorry. Tired tonight.

@stanski

Awesome! Would you a central location if the village had a much better primary school?
The town location (greats amenities) has a 😒 primary school but a ⭐️ Secondary- whereas the village location has a ⭐️ Primary and secondary.

DH doesn’t think ratings matter that much for primary schools but I’m inclined to disagree

Mat leave is very short so don't buy a house based on that.

You will want storage for toys. An area for a playroom would be good- i have this and it's nice to close the door on all the garish plastic at the end of the day. Garden isn't essential but proximity to a park will be good.

Look at distance to work, primary school and childcare. Public transport links. What's the traffic like for the journeys you will make most often?

What I'd say is children maybe don't play in gardens as much as we imagine they will.

But having a large garden lessens the noise you'll hear from your neighbours.

I would say that it is important to be in a good catchment for schools. We moved when oldest was a baby 'for only 5 years max'. We are still here. Combination of credit crunch and laziness! Also consider that although you both have cars, there are times when they break down.

I guess it depends on the age gap with dc and bedrooms. DC under preschool age I probably would like on the same level, but around 4 they will hopefully be reliably able to play independently.

I would avoid having to drive everywhere! The hassle of in and our the car seat for YEARS, not to mention if you need so little as a pint of milk..,

I'd be inclined to agree with your DH about primary schools. I think more so at primary you want to choose a school based on ethos that fits in with you rather than results. Would you prefer a more traditional, academic, pushing school, or a really carey sharey, 'we wear slippers in the classroom' school? I think primaries have more individuality (my job means I regularly visit around 30). Secondary ratings would matter more to me.

Location and good catchment area for primary are huge pluses

But space is definitely up there too

It is no good saving £100 per month on the mortgage buying a village house if you then have to spend the same or more going into town.

I suggest looking at where you need to be for work etc then do a 3/5/10 mile distance from that postcode.

Filter the options down by adding in a garden, parking, etc then look at the pictures to see if you can find a few that you can both agree on

Depends on the village. If there's a shop, pub, park and church then you'll probably have enough to keep you occupied. Remember post birth you may be unable to drive for 6 weeks if you have a section. Being unable to walk to anything would have been hell for me! I live in a small town with a decent high street, pubs, parks etc. Mum's who live in the villages have to drive everywhere to do anything. Also you'll become a kid taxi. Whereas once they're old enough ours will be able to walk to friends in the town.

Don't worry too much about secondary school, a lot can change in 11 years. How bad is the primary, is it a case of good vs outstanding? Outstanding schools locally haven't been inspected for 6+years so take the rating with a pinch of salt. Your dh is right, home background has a bigger influence on a childs outcome than the school.

Downstairs space is better than upstairs. We have a 3 bed with a playroom downstairs. Bedrooms are small but 90% of our awake time is spent downstairs playing etc. We only sleep and wash upstairs so it doesn't matter if its small.

Good primary school. It's the foundation stones for learning. Schools change so I wouldn't chose based on secondary 11/12 years in advance.

Downstairs space is important as that's where they will spend the majority of their time in early years.

Basically if you imagine a triangle where the top point is the city we both work in (20-30 min from both locations) and the two bottom points are the village/market town (10 min drive from each other.

Village offers ⭐️ Schools, floor space and £30K+ cheaper
Market town is ⭐️ Location and amenities ⭐️ Main roads nearby

Both houses are similar, one quiet culdesac 10-15 years old - one relatively new build (reputable builder) estate!

I disagree with pp, garden is an essential! But this depends on your lifestyle. We spend a lot of time outside in all weathers. I also dry washing outside.

I'd go market town personally. But look at your lifestyle and priorities.

I’d prioritise schools and having all bedrooms on one level until kids are in double digits.

We chose great school, quiet, decent amount of space.

The bedroom situation might be fine. The bedroom next to yours can be shared by littles for many years. You can use the extra rooms for play/extra storage of kid stuff. Them as kids age, you can move them into the additional bedrooms.

An extra reception room is great. We’ve just moved and now have this and it’s amazing for dc to have their own space. We only had a living room/kitchen diner before and felt quite cramped after dc2 arrived and got bigger/their stuff increased.

Also useful is at least 2 bathrooms in whatever form even just a downstairs loo would be useful. We’ve gone from 1 bathroom to 3 and bloody love it! No more queueing!

A garden is important as you don’t always want to go to the park and can just chuck them out there to play.

We’re in a small market town about an hour commute from zone 1. The buses to the station aren’t that regular though and it’s about a 15 minute drive. It’s perfect for us and dc when they’re young. We spend a lot of time pottering around town, running errands, visiting the park, we always bump into friends and the kids now love walking to school with all their friends. Bare in mind that ofsted ratings can change over 5 years so I wouldn’t personally move based just on that.

I do worry that they’ll find our town a bit isolated when they’re teenagers and will need lifts everywhere.

I’m not sure I’d like bedrooms downstairs as wouldn’t like dc sleeping downstairs when they were young and I wouldn’t want to either.

Sorry about your current living situation, I’ve been there with a baby and it really affected me. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Personally I wouldn’t over plan and worry too much about secondary schools for a baby this isn’t born yet. A lot can change during those years- the good secondary might not still be considered good, you could have job moves etc. This I say as someone who thought we were fairly settled when DD was born but we ended up moving, pretty much out of the blue, to the US by the time she was 6 months!

I’d suggest going for what suits your lifestyle for the short-medium term. You’ll probably appreciate having baby groups, play centres, parks, cafes etc within walking distance whilst on maternity leave so the town would win over the village for me. I’d also want a decent primary in case you’re still there in 4 years. A playroom would be great to hide toys away, 2 beds upstairs would be fine even if you have no.2 as they could share whilst they’re young. I personally wouldn’t want to over stretch financially and be worried about the cost of everything little thing whilst on maternity leave, and then presuming you’re going back to work then you‘ll have childcare costs. Doing work is personal, if you’ll be the one stuck at home with a newborn whilst managing the builders I think you get the right to veto that!

Good luck with your house hunt

@Teachermaths

I wish I could pick up the village house and drop it in the market town 😂

Thanks All for the feedback - don’t think you can ever know what it’s like with kids, before you have them. It’s just such a weighing up- whilst trying to put this little persons needs first! love the idea of the village house/primary/living space and value but agree that the limited amenities could get very tedious!

But the price of the market town makes me a bit nervous and although it’s a nice house, for 400sqft less and £35k more I’m not sure it’s worth it!

I would want a second toilet at least, some outdoor space - some children more interested than others as PP has said but if you can have a little trike, a few plants and some space to potter around I think you won;t regret it. School catchment is a consideration, pre-school and primary will be upon you before you know it and you ideally don;t want the pressure of having to move. In our first house I wished for more storage, especially with large pre-school toys. Our current house has one downstairs bedroom which suits one of our children who wants own space but would not have worked as a bedroom for a younger child, current child was about 12 before he liked to sleep there. Look at the outside environment - busy road, safety? do you need to rely on public transport etc? good luck!