House Move - IABU?

[DisneyMadeMeDoIt]

I’m 16+4 - have had awful HG (and a million other symptoms- signed off work since BFP)

Live in a city terrace (Large 2 bed) but AWFUL student neighbours (now on both sides 🙄) there’s no sound proofing so we hear EVERYTHING. DH can sleep through it but I can’t and affecting my MH.

We’re looking to move but DH and I can’t agree on anything 😂 budget, area, level of work...etc.

Basically DH prefers houses stretching our budget - I prefer houses very comfortably affordable.
DH prefers close to main roads/towns - I prefer villages (20 mins from city).
DH thinks we can manage a bit of work - I think I’ll be heavily pregnant/ newborn so want a ‘polished’ house.
DH thinks we’ll move again before DC goes to secondary- I think it’s STILL important to be in a good catchment.

The issue is lots of these are direct trade offs - Location- Sqft Space- Price
And I have no idea which of us IBU....

As parents, what will we care about most?

Will I wish I’d compromised on space to be walking distance of a market town centre?
Will we wish we were paying £100-200 less per month for the sake of a 10/20 min drive?
(Both would still have a 30 min commute anyway!)

Will I sit in a nice, spacious, good value village house and feel isolated and miserable during mat leave?
How useful is a play room/down stairs living space?
DH wants to rule out one (lovely) house on the basis it has only two (of the four) bedrooms upstairs. He thinks this wouldn’t be a ‘family house’ even though the living space downstairs is amazing and super high spec/good value.

Please / wise seasoned parents/ share your wisdom with me- what will I wish we’d bought in 2-3 years time?!?!

@Around

I’m really privileged in that both Grandmas are newly retired and VERY excited to provide childcare (first grandchild) when I return PT. They’re both teachers (my mum used to run a nursery) so I’m confident they both know what they’re getting into and it should work.

However, if it didn’t work we could use the nursery next to my office in the city. Would be very convenient for me dropping off/picking up.
However, if long term this was going to be the case I would probably consider a career break as would earn very little from working.

Childcare isn't a cost that should be considered against only your wage you realise? It's a joint cost.

@Askmehow

Yes - I know and DH does too but ‘we’ (as a house/family) would earn very little from my working) £200-£300 max before petrol and parking...etc.

Don’t worry I’m pretty switched on about the ‘repercussions’ of career breaks and would move to a private pension (plus everything is in joint names) I know the arguments for continuing to work despite making barely anything - I understand the ‘it’s worth it in the long run’ arguments - which is why (with free childcare) I will continue working.

However, I’ve been so unwell with this pregnancy that I’m not sure I’ll do it again. If I do it would be hugely disruptive to work (as it has been this time -signed off for 14 weeks so far 🙄😭 so for me there’s also a big argument of ‘enjoying every minute with my child- who may well be my only child’ if we were only making an extra £200-£300 by me working then I would 💯 stay home for a couple of years - my choice - fully informed 😬😂

Market town I would say.
Easier for friends for dc. Easier for dancing/football clubs. Easier for you to find friends and hobbies.
You can walk to stuff.

You can easily make house B more like A. But you can never move where A is ....iyswim. I agree about getting the decorators in straight away to refresh and paint. And maybe schedule a good bathroom fitter in for a few months time - because a) all the good ones will be booked and b) you can live in the bathroom a whole before you decide what you want doing with it.

Anyway this sounds so much better than your desperate post a while back. So I hope you find the home you want and get an offer accepted soon. (I'm a sahm of 10 years.....I am so glad I was lucky enough to have this time with my kids. Yes I will struggle to get back into the job market at the same level I stopped at....but there have been bits and pieces to keep my hand in. And my kids still need me on the school holidays so I still wouldn't want to be full time. I am however full time mum taxi!).

My pal had a three storey house. When they moved there, they were on the top floor, with the DC on the middle floor.

Their DC never slept well, they were frightened of not being next to their parents. They ended up in their bed most nights.

Just a wee thought.

@Mumdiva99
@Almost

Both amazing points - thanks for taking the time to post. I really am finding it super helpful all this feedback.

Tensions are high in our house atm. We are feeling a bit of pressure to pull off the move before baby arrives 🙈 I know it’ll be ok though x