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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give toddler in my care calpol?

100 replies

GloopDeLoop · 18/10/2019 16:52

Babysat today for a friend of mine. Her 1yo daughter was clingy, hot and generally not feeling too well. I tried to ring mum to ask if she has been unwell through the night but mum was at work so didn't answer. I gave her daughter calpol and text mum the time, so she had an idea of when to top up dosage if needed.

Speaking to NDN, general chit chat about the kids and I mentioned baby girl hadn't been well but made a comment about how calpol fixes everything and she was as back to herself within half an hour. Neighbour made a really stern face at me and said she would have kicked off if someone gave her child 'drugs without asking me'. WIBU? What would you have done? For context when my friend came to pick her daughter up she did ask why I'd sent her a message of the time and when I explained she said thank you, she would let me know how baby got on and left. Nothing in the conversation stood out to me that she might have been upset or angry about it. But now I'm not sure. Is it stepping over boundaries? Would people really leave a baby to feel ill or would they give medicine? Have I made a really stupid mistake Sad I honestly thought it was the best thing to do given the situation.

OP posts:
starpatch · 18/10/2019 16:56

I think it's fine I would have done the same. Main thing is she wasn't distressed for too long. Calpol contains paracetamol which most people can take.

Sewbean · 18/10/2019 16:59

I think you're on slightly dodgy ground giving someone else's baby medicine without checking first. What if she's already had some that morning or is allergic to something? Although if she has allergies the mum should tell you first.

I personally probably wouldn't mind but I am sure lots of people will.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 18/10/2019 17:03

My DD had this same issue while babysitting one evening.

She now makes sure she discusses this with the parents prior to any babysitting as the views do seem to vary wildly.

I would have given the baby calpol in your situation.

Lunafortheloveogod · 18/10/2019 17:05

Assuming you know she’s had calpol before I wouldn’t mind if she was mine, I’d rather my child was comfortable and not feeling hellish until I could either 1. Text back to say go a head (at my work that could be 5-6 hours later) 2. Came to collect them.

Obviously others will disagree but as long as you know they can have it/haven’t already had it.

Ihateedmundelephant · 18/10/2019 17:05

I wouldn’t give medicine without the parents consent as I’d be worried about potential allergies, but I’m a worrier

Jollitwiglet · 18/10/2019 17:06

As long as there's no known allergies I think it's fine. I would prefer my child not to be given medicine, but if your friend trusts you enough to babysit, I'm sure they trust your judgement about whether or not Calpol was appropriate.

Butterymuffin · 18/10/2019 17:06

I would have given the Calpol, no question. If you can be trusted to babysit, you can be trusted to make a decision on low level short term medication. Neighbour is being daft. Now you know never to babysit for her!

Ihateedmundelephant · 18/10/2019 17:06

Should add, if someone gave my DC calpol without checking I wouldn’t be at all angry or upset though.

Cornettoninja · 18/10/2019 17:06

I would be hesitant if I didn’t know whether or not the baby had already had some or if there were allergies etc. But I can see why you made the call you did and as long as neither of those things cropped up I don’t see the problem.

Grammar · 18/10/2019 17:07

But she DID check and Mum or Dad they didn't get back.
OP. did right thing, but it may be salient to check with patents about this kind of scenario reurrcing

Coconutbug · 18/10/2019 17:07

It would be fine with me but I am happy to give my child calpol. I know the reasons but it frustrates me when DD could be at nursery with calpol and they won't give it to her until they know I'm going to pick her up and she's usually bouncing off the walls again by the time I get there.
I know some people don't like to give their child any medication so maybe that's what neighbour is getting at - wouldn't really call calpol 'drugs' though. But if you are baby sitting for your friend I'm sure you'd probably know something like this? You could always send a quick message to friend to like 'apologise' if it would help clear your mind

Oysterbabe · 18/10/2019 17:09

Did you know that she's not allergic to it?

MoaningMinniee · 18/10/2019 17:09

If I was the child's mother I would have mentioned either that I'd given Calpol earlier as baby had been a bit fractious, and brought more with me to dose with if necessary, or if there was any allergy or intolerance to anything I'd have given very clear and strict instructions. In the absence of that information and with her being uncontactable, I think you made a good call. If your friend trusts you to care for her child she will trust your judgement about any decision that needs to be made in real time.

WhiskeyLullaby · 18/10/2019 17:24

The issues are allergies and overdose.

Most parents would (and should) inform those looking after their kids if there are any allergies or already given medications.

It wouldn't have bothered me,especially in a friend situation.

raspberryk · 18/10/2019 17:26

To be honest people do use calpol too much, but if one of mine felt poorly and was clearly unwell while I was at work I would appreciate the calpol and the message. I would also have done the same, you tend to know how your friends parent don't you and just follow what you think they would do in the situation.

june2007 · 18/10/2019 17:29

No you do not give meds without consent.

NavyBerry · 18/10/2019 17:29

I'd probably be ok with it but was it a real fever? Did you measure her temperature?

MinTheMinx · 18/10/2019 17:31

If I trusted someone to look after my 1 year old daughter, I'd certainly trust their judgement on whether Calpol should be given or not.

Windydaysuponus · 18/10/2019 17:31

Presumably your friend would have informed you of any allergies prior to leaving her dc..
It's not like you gave her a hash cake is it?

GameSetMatch · 18/10/2019 17:34

I don’t think you did anything wrong, I’d be happy my child had been given the medicine. A second dose of calpol a bit earlier is hardly going to kill a child those worried about overdose.

diddl · 18/10/2019 17:35

Are there any other kids?

If not, would it be safe to think that the calpol was for the child to whom it was given?

I wonder if there had been any signs of little girl being unwell before she was left?

sparkles07 · 18/10/2019 17:35

I would have done the same, and expected my babysitter to act in my child's best interests which I think you did.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 18/10/2019 17:38

I would always check when babysitting how the parents wanted me to handle minor illnesses/ailments. Unfortunately it is dodgy ground, and I probably wouldn’t do it without asking.

SleepingStandingUp · 18/10/2019 17:39

I'd be fine with it op.

If I'd given my child calpol before leaving her with someoen else, I'd tell them so thry knew she was unwell. Kji

seaweedandmarchingbands · 18/10/2019 17:39

And an overdose is very unlikely.

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