To give toddler in my care calpol?

[GloopDeLoop]

Babysat today for a friend of mine. Her 1yo daughter was clingy, hot and generally not feeling too well. I tried to ring mum to ask if she has been unwell through the night but mum was at work so didn't answer. I gave her daughter calpol and text mum the time, so she had an idea of when to top up dosage if needed.

Speaking to NDN, general chit chat about the kids and I mentioned baby girl hadn't been well but made a comment about how calpol fixes everything and she was as back to herself within half an hour. Neighbour made a really stern face at me and said she would have kicked off if someone gave her child 'drugs without asking me'. WIBU? What would you have done? For context when my friend came to pick her daughter up she did ask why I'd sent her a message of the time and when I explained she said thank you, she would let me know how baby got on and left. Nothing in the conversation stood out to me that she might have been upset or angry about it. But now I'm not sure. Is it stepping over boundaries? Would people really leave a baby to feel ill or would they give medicine? Have I made a really stupid mistake I honestly thought it was the best thing to do given the situation.

Although you meant well, you should have checked with the mother first.

I wouldn't mind if it was one of my dc's. If mine have already had calpol/nurofen I would tell whoever is looking after them, same as I do with dc3's inhaler. Dc4 can't have certain types of otc medicine so I always tell anyone looking after him that there is calpol or whatever in his bag if he is likely to need it. I wouldn't give someone else's child calpol without instruction because you don't know if they are allergic/intolerant/have already had some.

OP, you can cheerfully ignore the NDN because any adult who thinks 'kicking-off' is any kind of solution to anything is not worth the time of day. Your mate was fine, the child is fine, you did fine. If your friend is secretly offended that you have given Calpol but too gutless to mention it, then she won't ask you to babysit again. Win Win.

I have a friend who's son is allergic to Calpol (not Paracetemol, it's one of the other ingredients). There's no way I would risk giving another child medicine without the permission of the parent.

If ever I've had children for a sleepover, I've always asked if it's okay to give Calpol/Nurofen if needed during the night.

That said, I don't think you did anything particularly wrong, just took a course of action that I wouldn't be comfortable taking.

I would actually suggest that everyone should do first aid - particularly when you have dc &/or you look after other peoples dc if pp read everything I stated (& full first aid course do talk about high temp & cooling dc down if you do paediatric first aid & the use of paracetamol) - its not bizarre its a sensible thing to do -

Calpol doesn’t fix everything - I find it quite strange that so many people say this like it’s a sleep-inducing wonder drug that you can pop out for all occasions. it’s liquid paracetamol and should be used appropriately.

It’s the practice in my child’s nursery for them to contact me before administering liquid paracetamol, not least to double check they haven’t had a undisclosed dose at home earlier (or had more than one dose and had now had the max in a 24 hour window). It’s not like the child had a strong fever and needed calpol urgently so I wouldn’t have given it when couldn’t reach parent. she was clingy (understandably as sounds like you don’t regularly have her on your own) and quite hot etc. I really think some people reach for calpol too willingly.

I would have been cross. Our DC couldn’t have Calpol, we used Disprol instead.

Also, current guidelines say not to give medicine purely to reduce temperature. I agree with the PP who said that people teach for the Calpol too quickly.

current guidelines say not to give medicine purely to reduce temperature

the baby didn't 'just' have a temperature, but was unwell with it as well. and the mother didn't answer her phone or replied with a message.

tbh, things like that I ask about before I babysit so that I know in case the child shouldn't have a certain medicine.

I hate HATE it when people say 'drug' for medicine

redchoc I didn’t think the OP said she even had a temperature though - she says she was a bit hot and was generally a bit unwell with no further detail (how she seemed unwell/why she thought that).

When Dd was small I o my left her with family or friends who I trust. Therefore I would trust them to use their judgement to give calpol if required. They were also only people who knew us so would have known any allergies, etc. I'd have certainly told the babysitter if I'd given Caloocan just before dropping off/leaving her.

Likewise when I've looked after friend's children I've been trusted to look after them as I would my own. I knew much of their medical information including allergies. Of course I'd try to contact a parent in such circumstances, more than once or twice, but I wouldn't be happy to leave a poorly child to suffer.

if you are taking care of someone else's dc you should have at least a basic first aid course

You do know that first aid courses, even child based ones, don't usually cover when to give Calpol.
And a FA course only really lasts for a relatively short number of years, and needs updating regularly. Techniques and advice does change.

Very close to both my friend and her baby. We meet up regularly and there are a handful of times I've had to step in and babysit when childcare has fallen through last minute.

I have spoken to my friend, she said baby was most likely poorly this morning but she mistook it for tiredness (which I do believe , I too thought she was just tired at first). Friend apologised and asked if she was any bother but I just told her she had calpol and we had a cuddle on the sofa for a bit while it kicked in so she was nice and settled. Friend thanked me again and said she does apologise for leaving her when she was poorly but she genuinely had no idea at the time.

We discussed the neighbour's comment and my friend basically told me to stop being silly and shut up, she trusts me and there was nothing else I could have done & I 100% did the right thing. She told me my relationship with her daughter is lovely and she trusts any decision I would make as she knows babies health and happiness is my main concern (which was very lovely and reassuring to hear).

Thank you to the posters on here, you really have made me feel better! I am quite an anxious person so I probably have made a big deal out of this, sorry!

I would think on balance it would be fine.

Theres a risk that the parent has already given calpol or that the child is allergic. But if they have given calpol they really really should have told you (and one dose slightly early would have no I'll effect anyway), and allergy to paracetamol is very rare, so on balance I'd have given it.

Ps you sound like a lovely friend

Didn't she leave you a thermometer? If baby has a fever definitely give calpol

It's difficult, but you had no way of knowing if she'd had Calpol in the previous 4 hours, so were risking an overdose.

I don't leave my child with anyone but my dm but if I did I would definitely say where the calpol is and what dosage and how to get it into him if needed for any reason and only to give it if necessary but would have no problem with it being given. You helped a child so it's not a bad thing in my eyes

Op it's branded as calpol but it's paracetamol. The fact it's pink and sweet and suitable for infants makes it no less dangerous if given in too large quantities. For that reason I do feel yabu. You didn't know for sure what had already been given and didn't wait to find out. I appreciate you meant well though and no harm done. Ps - have had the fear of god put into me through relative having liver function tests after getting confused about maximum dosage so possibly that clouds my view.

allergy to paracetamol is very rare

Paracetamol is not the only ingredient.

bumbleymummy
"Also, current guidelines say not to give medicine purely to reduce temperature"

The guidelines are often misinterpreted.

Most people can use their judgement when they are experienced with children.

I was going to say "no, don't give medicine without asking". But then I remembered occasional times when my childminder (who's also a lovely friend) has given my children calpol when she hasn't been able to get hold of me and that all I felt at the time was relief they were being looked after! She also knows 100% I would do the same.

I think as a teacher it's been drummed into me never to give medicines without consent. I would lose my job if I did it. But your scenario is entirely different and if you completely trust each other then what you did was absolutely fine. I guess the trust is vital though for a decision like that!

Sounds like she thought so too

I would be glad. If I trust you with my baby (which she does) I trust you to make the best decisions while she is in your care. Would rather mine had the calpol than were left hot and bothered. You did the right thing. And kept her baby safe and comfortable. Unless the parent has said dont give x y or z then it's fine to treat them like u would you own and give them what u think is in the best interests. You have not done anything wrong. Dont worry.

I think it was fine, but probably a good idea to check in advance to make sure no allergies or anything. If the calpol was in their house though then you can probably safely assume it's ok!

It occurred to me on reading the OP's post that some people might give Calpol with the best of intentions but then worry that the parent would go mad at them and so not say anything, resulting in the unknowing parent giving another dose soon after.

I would be inclined to ask in advance if it was OK to give Calpol.