To give toddler in my care calpol?

[GloopDeLoop]

Babysat today for a friend of mine. Her 1yo daughter was clingy, hot and generally not feeling too well. I tried to ring mum to ask if she has been unwell through the night but mum was at work so didn't answer. I gave her daughter calpol and text mum the time, so she had an idea of when to top up dosage if needed.

Speaking to NDN, general chit chat about the kids and I mentioned baby girl hadn't been well but made a comment about how calpol fixes everything and she was as back to herself within half an hour. Neighbour made a really stern face at me and said she would have kicked off if someone gave her child 'drugs without asking me'. WIBU? What would you have done? For context when my friend came to pick her daughter up she did ask why I'd sent her a message of the time and when I explained she said thank you, she would let me know how baby got on and left. Nothing in the conversation stood out to me that she might have been upset or angry about it. But now I'm not sure. Is it stepping over boundaries? Would people really leave a baby to feel ill or would they give medicine? Have I made a really stupid mistake I honestly thought it was the best thing to do given the situation.

My concern would be allergies. This happened with my friend's son one day but I was so sure that I'd know if he was allergic and it had been 5 hours since she dropped him so I discounted both allergies and overdose that way but I was so worried she'd kill/sue/hate me.

I wouldn't give a child in my care medication without express permission from a parent unless literally a serious situation would occur without doing so and I'd tried natural cooling down ways. Without knowing if and when they had had medication it could be an issue.

I used to be a nanny and that influences me.

I’m unsure I don’t think I’d say anything to you, but at the same time I don’t think I’d ask you to babysit any time soon again. Did you take her temperature? If not you should have. Did you try ringing the mum more than once as she could have just missed your call and a second ring she might have been able to answer.

I'd have thought that was fine and if allergic I'd hope mum would say so or not have any around the house but can't say its that much of an algeren from what i gather.

DD3 some years ago I think she was around 4 or 5 said she didnt feel that well and mum told her to wait till later. She decided to climb up on the kitchen worktop, reach up to where it was kept then helped herself to most of the bottle.

Urgent call to hospital and poisons unit she said just to keep an eye on her;!

DD3's reasoning was if you take more then it gets you better quicker;!!

I’m really tight with giving my kids calpol for a number of reasons.
If I had left my child and they were fine and then been told that a professional carer had administered calpol without my consent I’d be annoyed. However, if it was a friend I’d be ok.

I assume you used their own supply of calpol so no need to worry about allergies. I would be fine if this happened with my child. Alternative would be that she would've had to have come home as you can't expect someone to look after your ill child really.

It sounds as if OP babysat at her own house?

hmm if dc was unwell hot & feverish & op rang to ask if she had been unwell prior - & ask to give her paracetamol - if dc was allergic parent should say before & if dc had been unwell it should have been mentioned - its not all on op. If dc has a temp & is in pain what else could she have done? I suspect dc was unwell before - it wouldn't be the first time (!!!) parents don't mention this. BUT op you have learnt a lesson: when you collect dc or dc is dropped at your place ask parents these questions first & get written permission from them to give paracetamol (& believe or not: permission for using plasters & sun cream) & explain that they must tell you if the dc has been given any medication before they go to work. I don't think you did wrong because small dc can have fever seizures with high temp - I wonder if dc had had vaccines just before? (that's another thing to ask! because dc can spike temp for that of course)

My concern would be if they'd already had any before you looked after them. If you'd had her longer than 4 hours I wouldn't be concerned but I hadn't considered allergies that PP have mentioned. @Molly2017 a professional carer might have a better idea about whether a dose of calpol would be beneficial. I'm not saying they should give meds without consent but I can't see why you'd be annoyed at that but not if a friend had done it.

If you couldn’t get hold of the mum, you should really have waited 4 hours in case she’d given a dose just before dropping off at your house. Could you have phoned the landline at the place of work? Paracetamol masks symptoms, so giving without any prior discussion is a risky move.

I'd be pretty pissed off if my trusted babysitting friend left my child to suffer when they had calpol to hand.

Well done on using your common sense, op

(& by the way you can have something one day & no reaction & another time you can have an allergic reaction - if you are taking care of someone else's dc you should have at least a basic first aid course - my dc reached 14/15 I made sure they all did one)

I would have don't the same. I would expect anyone looking after my DC to give calpol in that situation and would probably be more annoyed if they didn't

@movingonbackwards call me cynical but if I dropped my (seemingly well) child off with a professional carer and they later told me they had administered calpol I’d be a bit concerned that they were medicating them rather then caring for them.
I don’t generally give calpol though.
If a friend did it I’d be more comfortable she thought there was a genuine concern.

I wouldn’t have done this. It’s not even clear if the child was unwell. Did you take her temperature, OP? Perhaps she was tired and missing her mum rather than ill.

If a child of mine was actually ill, I’d want to know so would expect calls to my manager to alert me if I couldn’t get to my phone.

Wonder if the neighbour is an anti vaxxer or just a "modern medicine is all a big con/dangerous" type. Who even refers to Calpol as drugs? Even when talking about actual paracetamol most people refer to it as a painkiller rather than a drug.

@Molly2017 I see your point. I'd like to think a professional carer would do it out of genuine concern too. I can't imagine they'd give calpol without permission in the first place though!

But she DID check and Mum or Dad they didn't get back.

She didn't check. She tried to call once.

I wouldn't have a problem with someone giving my child calpol but I wouldn't give it to another child without actually speaking to a parent.

I would only give it if I had either looked after the child for longer than 4 hours (so I would definitely know I wouldn't be overdosing) or if I could get hold of parents to check.

I probably wouldn't give someone else's child medicine. But on the other hand, if it were my child feeling ill I wouldn't be upset if a friend did.

Unless this came on all of a sudden, your friend would have known her DD wasn't (at the very least) 'feeling quite herself' and should have told you so the two of you could have discussed what to do if she started feeling feverish or really ill.

Mumwon, you think everyone has to do a first aid course before looking after children? Bizarre. Most people who are parents don't do this! What about grandparents? Do they need to do a course? Also, basic first aid doesn't cover medication (you are not supposed to keep medications in a first aid kit) so would be completely irrelevant in this case.

OP, I think you did the right thing. Anyone who I would trust to look after my children is close enough to us that they'd know about any allergies.

I would have been surprised if you got it down my toddler and would have asked your technique.

I would have been fine with it, and if my DD had been poorly before I would have told you in case you needed to do anything.

Currently mine has nappy rash a lot so I expect anyone caring for her to use nappy cream though I may forget to tell them to and aren't particular about brands.

Even if a child had a dose an hour previously one more dose would only would not cause an over dose . Dosage timing and overdoses are not the same.
And allergies to paracetamol are very rare and a parent would obviously tell you.

I’m a childminder. If I gave a child a dose of calpol without parents permission, I would be on really dodgy ground. If the parent then complained I doubt I’d have a leg to stand on.

However, if I were babysitting for a friends child, it would be different and I would feel a bit more easy about giving a dose. However my childminding background would still make me wary about dosing a child without the parent knowing. But I do agree with the basic idea that if a parent trusts you with their child, they are trusting you to make decisions about giving a dose of basic medication (but as a childminder, I would still have to wait till a parent gave permission before I gave a dose).

It's a tricky one, my little one can't have certain painkillers. That being said if I had left my one year old with a friend I would have my phone on me at all times in case a situation like this came up.