Is my partner being selfish

[Lindasmt1]

My adult son committed suicide 3 weeks ago out of the blue he seemed happy the way his life was and making plans for his future so it has totally thrown me and I am extremely not happy and grieving.
I collected his ashes the other day and was really upset. That night my partner asked for sex I told him I wasnt in the mood as haven't been since this has all happened and he turned round to me and said that I've not to ignore his needs. Aibu thinking that was really selfish of him whole I am grieving for my 1st born

Sorry, I meant to say selfish, odious little man.

@ThreeLittleDots

Yes, not a man hater. 🤷‍♂️

Unforgivable on every level, and something I would never ever forgive. I would be making my way out of the relationship.

To expect sex when all you want is understanding is utterly selfish.

To say something so dreadful and insensitive shows what a bottom feeding cunt he is.

I am just horrified at this, and so sorry for the loss of your son OP.

OP I'm so so sorry for your loss

The behaviour your 'D' P has shown is abysmal - I hope you have others in your life to lean on in this horrible time .

As a fair few other posters have already said, sex is not a 'need' it's a 'want' and whether he is grieving or not, that he actually said that you shouldn't decline his 'needs' shows a serious lack of empathy and no indication that he cares enough to try and understand what you are going through.

If you feel he is grieving too then maybe some counselling when you are ready might help, but from the information you have given I can only surmise that he is indeed a horribly selfish man.

From one grieving mother to another and I'm sorry you have been so let down by your Partner.

Ignore the troll everyone. And have a good look at the emoji - there is a reason this poster is man centering and calling everyone who thinks pointing out sexual needs on the evening OP has been to collect her son's ashes is not ok as "man-hating".

I don't think it's any of us that have the communication issues.

I am also so sorry for your loss OP, and I hope you have other people around you who can give you support.

Pretzelcoatl You twisting around the OP to somehow show his perspective to be valid when he is being selfish and cruel to pester his partner for sex when she received her deceased child's ashes today, for god's sake! Enough with the running argument with everyone else on this thread.

@EKGEMS

If once is pestering, then you just pestered me in your post.

I didn’t twist anything, and I offered a perspective that, while clumsily done, may have indicated he was expressing his own hurt. That’s it.

Everybody else is blowing what I said way out of proportion. There’s been a death, that will affect people. People aren’t at their best when they’re hurting.

Jesus, I'm so sorry for what has happened to your family. As for your partner he sounds like a cunt to be honest, as if sex would be on your mind when your son has died, especially in such horrific circumstances.

Pretzel Yeah right we are ALL blowing it out of proportion

Urgh. He's being ridiculous to imagine you're feeling sexual right now. And he's unsupportive in other ways too? Has he always been like this?

Very sorry for your loss of your son.

Thank you to every1 for their kind words. @pretzel no I don't feel this is through grief as he always trys to emotionally blackmail me into sex as I have a very low sex drive. Thank you to every1 that have suggested places for support I will look into these soon I have got a very loving family who is very supportive and helping me through my grief even though my DP isn't