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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this strange?

78 replies

WhatTheFluck · 17/10/2019 22:52

Female friend helped me with my child last night as had to work late.
I insisted on getting her an uber and she declined. I made her promise that she had a lift home as she said she did but I did not believe her. A neighbour told me today that he saw her catching a bus instead so turned out she lied to me. Anyone else find this a bit weird?

OP posts:
puppyconfetti · 17/10/2019 22:53

Really?

Who actually cares if she got a bus home Hmm

Hirsutefirs · 17/10/2019 22:54

You’re strange if you think you can insist on people doing things.

AllFourOfThem · 17/10/2019 22:56

But she did have a lift home, courtesy of the bus driver. What’s the difference between a bus driving her home and a taxi?

PennyNotSoWise · 17/10/2019 22:57

I find it a bit weirder that the neighbour a) noticed and b) notified you about it Confused

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 17/10/2019 22:57

Maybe she's nervous of catching Ubers as a lone woman but doesn't want to let on to you in case you think she's being silly.

LuluBellaBlue · 17/10/2019 22:58

I’d think what a lovely friend you have

Drogosnextwife · 17/10/2019 22:59

Agree with PennyNotSoWise

WhoAmIToTellYou · 17/10/2019 23:00

Not at all... perhaps she wanted to go somewhere else? Or i suspect she didn’t want you to pay for her- that’s a friend to keep.
Or perhaps she does actually enjoy time on her own on the bus?

Original poster
WhatTheFluck · 17/10/2019 23:04

Why a lovely friend? She is but wondered why in this case.
My neighbour was coming back from a night shift, it was about 10PM

OP posts:
OctoberLovers · 17/10/2019 23:06

Maybe she cant afford a taxi

Original poster
WhatTheFluck · 17/10/2019 23:08

I was going to pay so that would not be an issue

OP posts:
GuessWhoColeen · 17/10/2019 23:08

Maybe she doesnt want to be in a car with a man. Maybe not.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 17/10/2019 23:09

I had a boss who would only just stop short of physically making me get a lift to my car, when I was usually much less than 1km away.
It was always about 10 pm and I was pregnant but... I'm 6' and a copper and I worked in a naice town. I do not like being told what to do. He never made the same effort with male colleagues. He also once said to me 'I wouldn't let my wife walk around this late.'
Fuck that..

Stop policing her. If she's happy to get the bus then leave her alone.

Alexandra54 · 17/10/2019 23:12

I would much rather ride a public bus, than get in a small confined space with a lone driver I don't know.
Maybe she feels the same way, but just didn't feel like laying out her fears and insecurities to you?

Why do you care enough to make a post about this?

BackforGood · 17/10/2019 23:13

What PennyNotSoWise said.

Lots of people don't use taxis. Not sure why that is odd. People 'risk assess' for themselves all the time, and she was happy on the bus.
My 18 yr old dd just got in from work about 1/2 an hour ago, having got the bus home. Sees no point in getting a taxi (alone with a stranger) when she can get a bus (with more people) which is free (as she has a bus pass)

Mummoomoocow · 17/10/2019 23:15

Maybe she felt that as a grown woman she could do grown up things like ride a bus without being babied into taking a “safe route home” because how could she fend for herself! I hate people behaving like they’re my mum

Boireannachlaidir · 17/10/2019 23:16

I find it weird that you're calling her a liar. Someone who helped you out.

I find it weird that your neighbour mentioned to you that she got a bus home. Why would they do that? What was your neighbour doing by the bus stop?

I find it weird that you insisted she get an Uber and that she left before "her lift" arrived late at night. Wouldn't the person giving her the lift stop outside your house to pick her up?

I find it weird I'm even asking all this...

Are you male or female out of interest?

SuchAToDo · 17/10/2019 23:17

Maybe she declined because she didn't have enough money for an Uber but didn't want to say

Or maybe she had somewhere to go or someone to see and caught a bus home after that

Why is it so important to you that your friend didn't go straight home when you said by the method of transport that you wanted her to travel by?.. I think it's strange that you even care about it to be honest

Oysterbabe · 17/10/2019 23:18

She wanted to get the bus and it's up to her. If anyone is being a bit weird it's you. I'd have done the same.

alwaysmovingforwards · 17/10/2019 23:22

The only thing a bit strange here is the OP.

puppyconfetti · 17/10/2019 23:23

Threads like this really make me feel odd. I hate the idea that my behaviour is being over analysed and posted online. You know your friend simply caught a bus, it needs no more thought.

Original poster
WhatTheFluck · 17/10/2019 23:23

I just find it weird she lied about having a lift. That's all.

OP posts:
OnTopOfTheWardrobe · 17/10/2019 23:25

IW Ould refuse an Uber too. I don't trust them. I would rather get a bus with other people on it.
Anyway, she is a grown adult and can choose her own method of getting home, so YABU,

OnTopOfTheWardrobe · 17/10/2019 23:26

Perhaps you were pressing her a little too hard?
I have lied before when people get too heavy with offering lifts which I don't want.
Don't overthink it too much.

marchez · 17/10/2019 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.