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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find this strange?

78 replies

WhatTheFluck · 17/10/2019 22:52

Female friend helped me with my child last night as had to work late.
I insisted on getting her an uber and she declined. I made her promise that she had a lift home as she said she did but I did not believe her. A neighbour told me today that he saw her catching a bus instead so turned out she lied to me. Anyone else find this a bit weird?

OP posts:

IVflytrap · 17/10/2019 23:29

She probably just wanted to get the bus and lied because she knew you wouldn't drop it if you knew the truth. I've had to do this occasionally when various car-driving acquaintances can't bear the idea of me walking anywhere alone. Sometimes you just want to get going without having an hour-long debate about why your chosen mode of transport is wrong.

LonginesPrime · 17/10/2019 23:30

She didn't want to give you her address in case you start coming round and telling her what to eat for breakfast.

PumpkinP · 17/10/2019 23:30

I think she maybe felt awkward about you paying for it? No need to over think it. Personally I think public transport is more of a risk than getting a taxi so I don’t think it’s that reason.

VenusTiger · 17/10/2019 23:35

I think she lied because maybe you’re very insistent OP?

She also may have gone to someone’s house and maybe didn’t want anyone to know?

Lies are always bad you know, sometimes they’re just to prevent stuff like this... questions.

VenusTiger · 17/10/2019 23:36

*aren't always bad

fromthefloorboardsup · 17/10/2019 23:38

Pretty sure pp said she's a lovely friend because she helped you out with childcare.

I also would much rather get a bus than an Uber, I feel much safer. I'd lie to someone about it if they were pressuring me to get a cab and not listening to me say no.

ReanimatedSGB · 17/10/2019 23:40

I'd have lied, too, because you were being pushy, condescending and intrusive. I am an adult and I use public transport all the time, I loathe people whining at me about it and trying to insist on giving me lifts or arranging taxis.

Ginkypig · 17/10/2019 23:41

Maybe it was because it was an uber and not a registered taxi.

I wouldn't use an uber on principle (the reasons don't matter for this thread) but I might not feel like saying that to someone as I wouldn't want to get into a debate about it. So I'd just say no thanks Iv got something else sorted.

To be honest it's nothing to do with with someone how I choose to get home and Id be a bit pissed off with someone thinking they were somehow in charge of it or were entitled to get annoyed I'd don't it in a way they didn't choose.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 17/10/2019 23:42

I think she maybe felt awkward about you paying for it?

This is the most likely explanation. It was very sweet of you to offer to pay for a cab, but not everyone feels comfortable with accepting offers like that.

WoesFromAuntFlo · 17/10/2019 23:44

As someone who was in a horrible car accident in an Uber with an unlicensed driver I would be a bit weird about getting in another one too. I really wouldn’t worry about it... I’m not quite sure why this is worthy of a whole post on mumsnet 🤷‍♀️

BarbaraofSeville · 18/10/2019 01:55

Maybe she finds it uncomfortable, awkward, feels unsafe in a car with a stranger?

Maybe she thinks taxis are a waste of money/unnecessary luxury in general?

Maybe she disagrees with using Uber on principle?

Monty27 · 18/10/2019 02:00

It depends how you worded it about ordering an Uber. She may have preferred to jump on a bus just because she prefers to. I would. It's no Biggie.

SlightlyStaleCocoPops · 18/10/2019 02:03

She lied to get you to let it go.

BouleBaker · 18/10/2019 02:59

She preferred to take the bus. I’ve done the same when a friend was offering to get her husband to drive me home. I wanted to get the bus instead and somebody telling me what to do and how to do it is extremely annoying.

Fraggling · 18/10/2019 03:03

I'm guessing she couldn't pay you back and didn't want a fuss

Coincidentally I was offered a cab home earlier and said no I'll get public transport as its quicker and cab drivers can be weird and I can't be arsed.

I'd get a bus over a cab any day tbh.

Fraggling · 18/10/2019 03:04

The fact you have posted on here suggests you are not relaxed about it. She probably sensed this. White lie, job done.

It's fine.

Thatagain · 18/10/2019 03:39

I would of declined. I would of probably lied to.
1 do not except a free ride
2 I would not of made myself alone with what might of been a man.
I would be surprised if she is willing to halp with child care in the future. If I was the carer I would of found it insulting. YABU

gwackywacky · 18/10/2019 04:38

It's the kind of thing I would do. Not wanting to take money off someone for an uber and not having to have a long convoluted discussion to reassure them that yes I have a lift. I would totally react like your friend. If shed been truthful about it it would have gone like this.
Are you sure you have a lift?
I'm getting the bus.
Oh no! No dont get the bus!
It's fine!
Please! Let me pay for an Uber!
No really I'm fine with the bus.
But it's so cold outside! Here let me just get the app up
I want to take the bus.
But an uber will get you there in no time.
It's really not a big deal.
Oh I feel awful now, please, I insist....
[Screaming] I'M TAKING THE FUCKING BUS!!@!!!!!!!

PurrBox · 18/10/2019 04:45

Uber is evil.
Driving pollutes the planet.
I hate taking taxis.
I hate wasting my friends' money even more than I hate wasting my own money,

PatricksRum · 18/10/2019 05:11

She did you a huge favour and you're calling her a liar.

Perhaps she didn't want you to pay for it but had to lie as you were insisting, why do you care?

Apolloanddaphne · 18/10/2019 05:17

She didn't really lie though. She had a lift. In a bus. That was her choice. Maybe she wanted to stop off somewhere on the way home maybe to pick up some food or pop in and see someone else. Who knows. She is an adult and allowed to decide how she gets home.

Mollie3 · 18/10/2019 05:30

I wouldn’t get in an Uber alone unless I absolutely had to they are just people in their own cars plus you hear the horror stories
Or perhaps it’s a climate change thing?
She had a lift. It was the bus. End of!

Mollie3 · 18/10/2019 05:35

Why do some people think they can dictate to others what they do and when said others have their own plans it turns out that said others have ‘lied’ because their actions do not fit with those some people’s narrow interpretation of a concept (in this case, a lift)

MyOtherProfile · 18/10/2019 05:40

Maybe she had a lift then when she got outside she got a message saying they had car problems or something so she said it's fine I'll get the bus. And maybe their potential lift driver took that and said ok great rather than no you must get an Uber / wait for me to fix the car etc.

OooErMissus · 18/10/2019 05:46

Why a lovely friend? She is but wondered why in this case.

Because she helped you out with childcare, of course?

What a wierd person you are question....

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