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Original poster

Should this event that happened at school be punished?

88 replies

Mortifiedmummy12 · 17/10/2019 19:35

Ds borrows friend his phone and friend runs off as to make ds miss the bus as he can’t leave without his phone. Ds pleads to have it back but friend carries on taunting him and putting it in his bag ect. Ds snaps and kicks him in the leg so friend drops it ( friend usually kicks ds for no reason). Friend then kicks him back and throws phone on floor and walks off too his detention. Who is in the wrong and should this be punished?. Both are sorted now however , a teacher witnessed some of it.

OP posts:
ThatMuppetShow · 17/10/2019 20:39

coconuttelegraph

wrong words, but come on, how can Ds pleads to have it back but friend carries on taunting him not being clear to understand?

A lot of people confuse lend and borrow on here, or "have" and "of". It might be painful to read but it's still obvious what they meant.

Buddytheelf85 · 17/10/2019 20:42

Did the friend drop the phone then pick it up again and throw it?

TheCanterburyWhales · 17/10/2019 20:42

I wish the coconut poster were half as keen on using commas in the right place as she is on pulling up other posters on their Spag.
Talk about people in glass houses

Original poster
Mortifiedmummy12 · 17/10/2019 20:43

Don’t see why my son would be excluded considering he’s never had a fight before, this wasn’t a fight it was 2 kicks , it’s been resolved and my son was provoked. Nothing would be of this situation if a teacher wasn’t there, they would’ve just got on with it like usual as apparently this kicking is a daily occurrence. Sometimes it is malicious and sometimes not.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mortifiedmummy12 · 17/10/2019 20:44

No , my son wanted him to drop it but he didn’t. Friend threw it

OP posts:
Wildorchidz · 17/10/2019 20:46

So is this the same boy that you posted about yesterday? The one with 26 detentions in 6 weeks?

Original poster
Mortifiedmummy12 · 17/10/2019 20:47

Yes same boy however he’s had no detentions for fighting so not all that relevant.

OP posts:
coconuttelegraph · 17/10/2019 20:48

I wish the coconut poster were half as keen on using commas in the right place as she is on pulling up other posters on their Spag

Using the correct word isn't spelling, punctuation or grammar - I haven't made comments on any of those aspects of anyone's posts

Sunshine93 · 17/10/2019 20:49

This is the second thread I have seen this evening where thisisthend has been goady.

IwishIwasaspaceman · 17/10/2019 20:49

@DCOkeford

Sorry, what happened to the phone? Did your son lend it to the other boy?
No. He 'borrowed' it him. Grin

Sunshine93 · 17/10/2019 20:51

Nothing would be of this situation if a teacher wasn’t there, they would’ve just got on with it like usual as apparently this kicking is a daily occurrence. Oh that's ok then Hmm

You sound like the kind of parent who would be on here like a flash if something had happened to your son and the teacher hadn't acted.

Obviously the school has to punish the boys. Why would any person think the school could allow a child to kick another one?

notangelinajolie · 17/10/2019 20:52

Both did wrong.

Tell your son to find a new friend. The boy is not a friend.

Aridane · 17/10/2019 20:53

What are his detentions for?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 17/10/2019 20:55

If my son had 26 detentions in 6 weeks he wouldn't have a phone to lend to anybody.

Aridane · 17/10/2019 21:03

Shit - I've just read your other thread.

Kicking the boy is the tip 9f the iceberg - what action are you taking on the other x26 incidents that led to detention?

LolaSmiles · 17/10/2019 21:05

So he gets a good kicking most days, but you do nothing about it, haven't raised it with school, describe the other boy as a friend...

... But when your son and his friend engage in silly behaviour typical of their friendship, suddenly it's not your son's fault, the friend provoked him, he's an ongoing victim of violence (that you know about as a parent but have done nothing about). I'm going to guess that this "sometimes malicious and sometimes not" translates to, 'i know fine well it's horse play between friends but now my child had been pulled up for it I'll put a spin on it'.

Suddenly the detentions for "messing around" a bit make sense. I'm guessing they're also not his fault because other people talk to him and distract him, he's easily led.

steff13 · 17/10/2019 21:26

If the detentions were for things like talking in class, interrupting lessons, etc., it would indicate a certain lack of self-control that might have also led to this incident. Not that the other boy wasn't being a jerk, but physical violence is rarely appropriate.

Drogosnextwife · 17/10/2019 21:28

Both did wrong. But they are kids. They must have learnt this violence from somewhere. Usually the home.

Oh ffs!

IAmPrettyWisdomous · 17/10/2019 21:36

Yes same boy however he’s had no detentions for fighting so not all that relevant.

I think it's very relevant as it gives an insight into your son and his behaviour at school. 26 detentions in 6 weeks, that is absolutely ridiculous and suggests your son is somewhat of a nightmare at school.

As for this incident, they both were wrong. Your son should not have kicked, that was not the answer, and the other child should not have taken his property and not give it back to him.

If I were you, I'd disregard this incident for now unless the phone is damaged and actually address why your son is behaving so badly at school.

donquixotedelamancha · 17/10/2019 21:37

Ds borrows friend his phone

Has anyone mentioned it should be lent rather than borrow?

So is this the same boy that you posted about yesterday? The one with 26 detentions in 6 weeks?
Yes same boy however he’s had no detentions for fighting so not all that relevant.

Nothing would be of this situation if a teacher wasn’t there, they would’ve just got on with it like usual

Christ on a bike. Have you considered running parenting classes OP?

DeathStare · 17/10/2019 21:46

Both kids did wrong. Both should be punished equally. If I was the parent of either boy I would be cross at my own son.

Whether school are able to punish both kids equally might be a different story though as i suspect only one child broke the school rules (your son by kicking). If school's punished annoying goady teenagers they'd have half the school punished at any one time!

OP - who do you think was in the wrong and should be punished? For you to ask the question you must have some opinion

cabbageking · 17/10/2019 21:56

Poor behaviour in uniform out of school affects the schools reputation so yes school should punish both of them. Your son is treading a fine line now towards a permanent exclusion by repeatedly breaching behaviour policy and adding kicking or a physical incident to his record. School will also have completed some PHSE on specific years where behaviour is an issue.
If they can show he now also poses a risk to the education of others by any disruption, lack of respect for staff or students, an escalation of behaviour they may permanently exclude him.
If you are posing the question should school punish him then my assumption is you feel he should not be punished? Forgive me if I have inferred incorrectly. What do you think should happen?

SleepWarrior · 17/10/2019 21:58

As an isolated incident that occurred exactly as you said, the other boy sounds like a massive pain.

With the background on 26 detentions I'd say the boys are a bad influence on each other at the moment and need to be kept apart. Are there other kids that he gets in trouble with? Maybe a meeting with HOY and tutor to get a firm and united behaviour plan in place.

Thatagain · 18/10/2019 03:29

They should not be punished. They are young boys finding their own ground with eachother. They should be spoken to with understanding and respect. I would meet up with your DS friends mum and the other boy and discuss that In normal situations you do not take a item from someone and tease them. As for kicking some boys do that and if it's not in a manner violence then it can be normal.

malmi · 18/10/2019 07:13

Borrow and Lend are used interchangeably in some regional dialects. It's usually lend that is being used to mean borrow, as in 'can I lend a pen off you'. Also learn is used to mean teach, "Will you learn me to play the piano?". I find this stuff interesting, particularly when people simply don't get it and say it's wrong, even though it's colloquially used by thousands of people...