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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when it is appropriate to pay for things booked by someone else on their credit card

134 replies

Bearbehind · 16/10/2019 21:47

This isn’t a TAAT just coincidence but I got me thinking as it’s just happened to me too

I’ve booked and paid for accommodation for 16 people. It’s just over £150 per person so not an insignificant sum

This isn’t an obligatory type thing, people are only going if they want to, I’ve just booked it as I can get a discount (that everyone gets the advantage of)

I’ve told everyone it’s booked, the price per person and my bank details.

Every has paid except 1 person who asked when my credit card bill was due and said she’d pay the day before.

Now in theory I’m not out of pocket until then but it literally wouldn’t occur to me to say that if someone else had gone to the trouble of booking something for everyone

So

Is it reasonable to think you just pay when the cost is incurred (YANBU)

Or

Is it ok to just pay when the person who has put the money on their credit card needs to pay it (YABU)

OP posts:
lifecouldbeadream · 17/10/2019 09:41

You owe the money at the point the transaction is made, regardless of when payment is due, it is now your debt and you will have to pay it come what may. If money was an issue before she agreed she needed to have asked when you needed the money. Therefore YANBU. I’d just go back to her and say it’s already paid and therefore she owes you- what you decide to do with your debt after that- is ultimately up to you. This is exactly like the lunch club thing and she is being ridiculous.

CharityDingle · 17/10/2019 09:42

I pay asap, I just don't want the other person waiting. It's irrelevant to me when their bills are due. The fact is, I owe them the money and I pay it the minute I can whether by cash, or a transfer.
I have pulled back from organising nights out / concert tickets for this reason. Most people are in straightaway with payment, but I had three months of someone (very well off and who had multiple chances to pay) saying 'oh I must pay you'.
Eventually paid on the night. Gah!

LemonPrism · 17/10/2019 09:44

My friends usually ask if it's ok to pay on X date. Whatever's best for both parties

Original poster
Bearbehind · 17/10/2019 09:46

Ironically something has come up where I now owe here slightly more than £150 so I’ve just transferred the difference and explained why

Sorted 😂

The poll votes tie in with my initial thoughts, 95% of us think it’s rude not to pay when the cost is incurred but the rest think it’s fine to wait until the card due date.

Just goes to show you need to know which camp yogurt friends are in before you do this

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 17/10/2019 09:48

@labmum I haven’t had a cc for about 10 years. DH had one that he only got rid of maybe 2 years ago, not that he used it, was just too lazy to arrange closure. I’ve always had a yearly fee no matter what bank or card, so has DH.

Great that your cc works for you, I just have no desire to faff around with it. I don’t care if I need to take clothes back, they just refund me into the card, sometimes that takes a while but I’ve not gone short in the meantime and I won’t go short while waiting for a refund to come through, it makes no difference to me so no need for another account just to have access to a banks credit.

HeyNotInMyName · 17/10/2019 09:49

I have to say you need to trust all those people A LOT to take about £2k of booking and then hope that people will pay....
The risk of you being left hanging dry is quite high going on by some of the therads on here.

MrKlaw · 17/10/2019 09:52

you're not a 'just in time' automated billing system. You booked for convenience for them and a discount for everyone and they can pay you straight away.

If they're being stupid about 'oh you'll earn 0.001p in interest and thats not fair' - you could tell them you'll pay it straight into the credit card account so it doesn't earn anything (although should be unnecessary)

Did they all agree to this before you booked, and then this one person has changed their mind?

Original poster
Bearbehind · 17/10/2019 09:59

That is true hey but it is something we all want to do and we all have decent salaries so it’s not like there’s people who will struggle to pay

I guess you just expect people to do as you would yourself and it’s surprising when they don’t

OP posts:
Pinkyyy · 17/10/2019 10:01

Is her name B?

Drum2018 · 17/10/2019 10:09

Ironically something has come up where I now owe here slightly more than £150 so I’ve just transferred the difference and explained why

Result!

IncrediblySadToo · 17/10/2019 10:18

I guess you just expect people to do as you would yourself and it’s surprising when they don’t

Having been on MN since Adam was a bit, NOTHING surprises me anymore 🤣
Things you’ve never given a thought to & it’s not what everyone else does 🤯🤯

Mostly with me & my friends it’s not an issue, we’ll each pay different things & it all comes out in the wash, or we will give the cash when it’s convenient etc. It all works out fine BUT if one person had paid a significant cost like this I’d ask them how they’d like the money - bank trf right now, cash when I see them or whatever

As soon as that kind of thing is paid people should pay their share - as someone else said. YOUR credit is NOT HER credit!! and she was really rude

Great the way it’s worked out though!

Hope you enjoy yourselves!

CymaticPrincess88 · 17/10/2019 10:27

I bet she will be pissed off about it, even though I would say that is absolutely fair to do as you've done :)

Oliversmumsarmy · 17/10/2019 10:27

Why the day before?

Surely when you pay your CC bill it takes a few days to hit the CC Company accounts.

I would never leave paying a CC to the last minute.

Also how would she know that you didn’t need to make another big purchase during the month and her not paying meant there wasn’t enough credit on your account to make it.

Definite CF

Wants the discount you can offer but doesn’t want to pay for it

MyOtherProfile · 17/10/2019 10:31

That's so funny. Glad it has worked out.

Sparklfairy · 17/10/2019 10:47

What did she say when you told her the reason you transferred the difference?

Skyejuly · 17/10/2019 10:59

I always pay people immediately regardless of when it comes out x

Brefugee · 17/10/2019 11:21

this from a PP
I would have said that if it were tickets to an event, I would hand over the money when I got the tickets into my hand (or emailed to me).

The person booking your tickets is paying in advance for tickets they don't have in their hand, too. Don't be That Person.

Motoko · 17/10/2019 12:14

Just goes to show you need to know which camp yogurt friends are in before you do this

Yeah, yoghurt friends leave a sour taste in your mouth. Wink

Whattodoabout · 17/10/2019 12:16

It wouldn’t occur to me not to pay as soon as you h

Whattodoabout · 17/10/2019 12:16

Posted too soon.

It wouldn’t occur to me not to send you the money as soon as you booked. I would feel like a massive CF making you wait.

MummyJasmin · 17/10/2019 12:31

Lie and bring forward the CC due date

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/10/2019 12:37

Good job OP Grin

Original poster
Bearbehind · 17/10/2019 12:59

Yogurt friends was an unfortunate typo! 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Bearbehind · 17/10/2019 13:02

*I would have said that if it were tickets to an event, I would hand over the money when I got the tickets into my hand (or emailed to me).g

The person booking your tickets is paying in advance for tickets they don't have in their hand, too. Don't be That Person.

Absolutely don’t be that person.

Tickets are often purchased months and months in advance - Elton John ones were about 18 months I think! The actual tickets often don’t arrive until just before the event but they were paid for long before that

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 17/10/2019 13:15

WhatchaMaCalllit what an odd viewpoint. If you bought the tickets yourself you would have to hand the money over before you received the email or tickets in the post?! Daft.