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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask when it is appropriate to pay for things booked by someone else on their credit card

134 replies

Bearbehind · 16/10/2019 21:47

This isn’t a TAAT just coincidence but I got me thinking as it’s just happened to me too

I’ve booked and paid for accommodation for 16 people. It’s just over £150 per person so not an insignificant sum

This isn’t an obligatory type thing, people are only going if they want to, I’ve just booked it as I can get a discount (that everyone gets the advantage of)

I’ve told everyone it’s booked, the price per person and my bank details.

Every has paid except 1 person who asked when my credit card bill was due and said she’d pay the day before.

Now in theory I’m not out of pocket until then but it literally wouldn’t occur to me to say that if someone else had gone to the trouble of booking something for everyone

Is it reasonable to think you just pay when the cost is incurred (YANBU)

Is it ok to just pay when the person who has put the money on their credit card needs to pay it (YABU)

OP posts:

MumW · 17/10/2019 08:18

If you've already told her the real date, could you say your card is maxed out and you need to free up some space for an unexpected purchase or just reply I need it now, please.

nannybeach · 17/10/2019 08:24

You are not BU, its beyond rude, yes go with MumW, have been in a similar situation with my best friend (embarassing!) who then informed me, she didnt have the money, got very difficult.

Brefugee · 17/10/2019 08:26

They should pay immediately. They are assuming that you haven't maxed out your card and/or don't want to use it for something else for you.
That is the opportunity cost of extending your credit to someone else, and theoretically they should pay for that. Tell her that due to her late payment there is a 1% late fee, and that will increase every day by 1% until she pays…

I have a friend like this. She pays when she turns up for the event. Drives me mad.
Stop doing it. Just do not give her the ticket. The opportunity cost element applies here too.

Floopily · 17/10/2019 08:28

I would expect to pay / be paid immediately unless there had been a specific statement by the person who bought the tix that the money wasn't needed until X date because of the credit card timing.

If you can't afford it don't assume someone else will sub you until you can unless they offer.

I've learnt my lesson with this with gig tix, people saying they want one then changing their minds after I've paid and me being left with the cost / trying to sell on the tix.

HoppingPavlova · 17/10/2019 08:33

What if your paying by Debit card? I got rid of my credit cards when Debit cards came in - act as credit cards, have a credit card number but they work on the money you have. So like an EFTPOS card but is used in place of a credit card. Only issue I’ve ever had is the odd hotel telling me they will need to take an actual deposit from it on arrival when I give it as the credit card for security on check in. Then at the end when I pay my bill they refund me the deposit they took from it. That’s only happened at a few places and if they do this I now avoid it by giving them my work credit card details for security and then pay for everything with Debit on departure so nothing actually gets billed to the work credit card.

So, if I was to pay for everyone’s lunch in my Debit (acting as a credit card) or pay for group of tickets etc on my Debit it would come immediately from my own personal funds, not $$ the bank is stumping up I would need to pay them back at month end. I find no need to specify my method of payment when I do such things and people pay immediately via transfer.

PettyContractor · 17/10/2019 08:36

I think she's just following her own personal algorithm for sound money management, treating this like any other bill. She thinks it would make no difference to you to be paid early, because she's only thinking narrowly in terms of interest etc.

Just tell her you'd prefer to be paid now so that you don't have to keep track of it. Mention in passing that everyone else has paid. If that doesn't make her pay immediately, I'll agree she's a CF.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 17/10/2019 08:38

I would have said that if it were tickets to an event, I would hand over the money when I got the tickets into my hand (or emailed to me). I wouldn't pay for something until I had received the goods. That said, if the person who booked on their credit card had said "I've booked and paid for X number of tickets at Y price can you pay me now please?" I wouldn't wait until the credit card bill is due because early payment can clear the debt down for the person quicker so I'd either hand over the cash or do a funds transfer a lot sooner.

This person, well, they are a CF waiting until the day before the bill is due.

I'm not sure how credit ratings work in Ireland but they are apparently a big thing in the UK so if someone has a history of waiting till the last minute to pay their bill versus someone who pays ahead...which would have the better credit rating I'd wonder??

PettyContractor · 17/10/2019 08:42

now avoid it by giving them my work credit card details for security

I think there's a risk of this going wrong and landing you in a sticky situation. If work card somehow gets charged, even if you tell them and pay it back immediately, there could be damage to the relationship you can't repair.

Why not get a personal credit card and only use it in situations where you don't expect to be charged? (Unless I suppose the issue is that you don't trust yourself with a credit card.)

katewhinesalot · 17/10/2019 08:47

It sounds a friendly enough message to me. I don't think it would be an issue for her if you just asked for it now. It's not really a big deal.

Agedtoperfection · 17/10/2019 08:54

If I’m booking anything (including the work lunch) I always get the money in advance. No one has ever questioned it

dementedpixie · 17/10/2019 08:56

I'd just message back that everyone else has paid and you'd prefer the money now as you're going to pay the card off immediately so you have more funds left for other spending

Downunderduchess · 17/10/2019 08:58

My sister often books things for us, as soon as she tells me she booked the event etc. I transfer the money to her account.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 17/10/2019 08:59

It. An take longer than a day for money to appear on credit card! Do they want to transfer it to your bank account and en you have to transfer to it your cc?

HoneysuckIejasmine · 17/10/2019 09:00

I would only not pay immediately if I needed payday first and it was before the bill was due. But only with prior agreement.

HoppingPavlova · 17/10/2019 09:02

How so? The policy says you are not allowed to put routine charges on it except in the event of an emergency and then you are expected to make payment/reimbursement of the amount yourself by due date and will be liable for any late fee. I used my work cc when my Debit was reported missing and so they cancelled it and it took the bank a week to get the new replacement to me as I couldn’t get cash from atm’s, was impossible to get to a branch/teller during open hours due to work commitments and needed a card or cc function for certain purchases. Flicked a mail to finance, reimbursed it and no one batted an eyelid. Even had the odd staff member use it for accom ‘by accident - didn’t think, handed it over by habit’ (cheaper corporate rate for room ), reimbursed it immediately and no one has cared.

And no, it’s not that I don’t trust myself with a credit card - used them for over 25 years with no issue. All credit cards I’ve had have a yearly fee attached just for the ‘privilege’ of having one. Why do I want to give the bank a couple of hundred a year for nothing when I don’t actually need to use their credit?

doginthemanger · 17/10/2019 09:07

The dog nudged me and I clicked the wrong button! Of course she's being cheeky and thoughtless. I keep a low credit limit deliberately and wouldn't have a big margin left for anything else I wanted to use the card for.

I'd just message back that everyone else has paid and you'd prefer the money now as you're going to pay the card off immediately so you have more funds left for other spending

I'd do this.

BeefTomato · 17/10/2019 09:08

I always pay as soon as things are booked because I've been the person who's booked before when people haven't paid and I hate that horrible anxious feeling. "Oh no, I've got to see X again today. Do I bring up the money that they still owe? Am I nagging? Should I wait until next week to bring it up again?" Ugh it just makes me so anxious, and you know that they're not feeling that way about owing you the money!

I've found it much easier to specify that I will book as soon as I've got everyone's money, or on X date I will book for everyone who has paid. Doesn't help you much in this situation though. Maybe just ask her to pay now and see what she says.

Labmum · 17/10/2019 09:15

OP I'd just tell her you'll be paying it off tomorrow as you've not got a huge credit limit on it and need to pay this off to allow for any other spending you need to put on it.

@HoppingPavlova when did you last have a credit card as I've never paid to have one. I have it set to pay off in full from my current account and mainly use it for online clothes shopping where I'm expecting I might need to return some items and it get refunded. It's good if you have an arrangement with your work credit card but many employers do not allow use of a company card for personal spending.

Lyingonthesofainthedark · 17/10/2019 09:20

She is clearly rude.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/10/2019 09:22

You pay as soon as you know the person doing the booking asks you, or says that the thing has been booked, even though they don't say outright "Gimme the money". Someone saying "I've booked our places/ tickets etc is an implicit request for the cash.

Tell this individual it's not too late to cancel her spot if you don't get the cash now (would it be?). And if she doesn't pay, and you can either cancel or sell it to someone else, do it.

Italiangreyhound · 17/10/2019 09:24

Wow a very cheeky person. But maybe she doesn't have it yet.

Drum2018 · 17/10/2019 09:31

I would reply 'Mary the date my credit card bill is irrelevant. You owe me now as the accommodation is booked'. Don't let it drag on to the end of the month as you know bloody well she'll forget and have a million excuses not to pay. If she comes back still saying she's not paying yet, then tell her that's no problem, you can amend the booking and she can organise her accommodation herself.

ActualHornist · 17/10/2019 09:33

The only time it is reasonable is if she says she gets paid then and would it be ok for her to pay you closer to the time.

Key point: ASK not TELL! How frigging rude!

ActualHornist · 17/10/2019 09:34

Also, your credit card will calculate your minimum payment based on the balance about two weeks before the payment is due. So if she pays you now and you pay it to the cc immediately instead of waiting, it’s better for you.

SoupDragon · 17/10/2019 09:34

"Is it OK if I pay you just before your bill is due?" Absolutely fine
"I will pay you just before your bill is due" CF

I would always pay right away.

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