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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Think that 26 detentions in the space of 6 weeks at school [Edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

91 replies

Mortifiedmummy12 · 16/10/2019 19:17

I find it awful however DCs dad doesn’t think so (we are separated). Made this to prove how bad it actually is. Anyone else’s children (secondary school age ) managed to get this or is it ABNORMAL ( it definitely is) but apparently it’s normal. How many detentions have your kids have in the space of 6 weeks. Only been in 6 weeks as Dc was ill for the first week and a bit. Please help me prove to my ex that our DC is out of order.

OP posts:
Paddingtonthebear · 16/10/2019 19:19

Well my child is still in infant school so I don’t have the experience but 25 detentions in 6 weeks sounds like loads. I am surprised the school haven’t been in touch to discuss further tbh! I didn’t have one detention in all my school years Confused

CAG12 · 16/10/2019 19:20

Sounds like theres another deeper problem and the detentions arent really working.

I think the school needs to employ another behaviour strategy as throwing detentions around clearly isnt working

mamaduckbone · 16/10/2019 19:21

I would find it awful as well and there would be serious consequences in this house.

Ds has had 1 detention and I wasn't best impressed with that, although it was only for losing his planner, so could be worse.

Venger · 16/10/2019 19:21

DS goes to a middle school that uses detentions. He's had none.

Twenty five in six weeks would worry me, that's nearly one every day. It would make me think that either school is being overly harsh and dishing them out too readily, that his behaviour is off the charts and needs addressing, or he has some unmet needs that are causing him to play up at school - or a combination of all three.

I'd make an appointment with school to go in and discuss it.

jgjgjgjgjg · 16/10/2019 19:22

How on earth would the child be able to do 25 detentions in 6 weeks without a parent noticing? That's more than 4 per week. I.e. 4 days a week the child is late home?

seaweedandmarchingbands · 16/10/2019 19:22

What are they for?

happinessischocolate · 16/10/2019 19:23

What is he getting them for and what year is he in?

My dcs school did clamp down on them in years 8 and 9 over homework, behaviour and uniform rules, they make the kids nice and obedient and then back off again in the gcse years

My dd only ever got 1, my ds got at least 3 a week for 2 years. Mainly homework related but also uniform and the occasional answering back

Cuddlysnowleopard · 16/10/2019 19:23

That's an awful lot. Nearly one a day.

Lots of children don't get a single detention. Even those I can think of who do get a lot rarely get more than one a week.

OtraCosaMariposa · 16/10/2019 19:23

One child at senior school 5 years, other 2 years. No detention. Ever.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 16/10/2019 19:23

My DS has been at secondary for 3 years and not had anywhere near that amount. Is it for lack of homework or behaviour?

Lhastingsmua · 16/10/2019 19:23

Well they have essentially had a detention every day for 5 weeks out of 6 weeks by that ratio. It would suggest that there are further problems as it clearly isn’t a one off/easily explained away

thisisthend · 16/10/2019 19:24

It's bad and it will lead to permanent exclusion if you don't watch out.

Lhastingsmua · 16/10/2019 19:24

Also shows that detention isn’t working!

thisisthend · 16/10/2019 19:25

Liaise with school, ask for detailed explanation as to cause and an action plan to resolve the issues.

raspberryk · 16/10/2019 19:25

That's bad, I was a little shit bag at school and that is way past my record, I used to get exclusions and suspensions mainly never had more than 1 detention a week ever.

ChocolateTea · 16/10/2019 19:25

As a teacher this would be a red flag for me. As a form tutor I make a point of speaking to any students in my form who have more than 3 detentions that term, to find out what's going on. I only have 3 students on more than 3 BTW. So it would be very unusual to have 25 in one term. Are they all for missed homework or behaviour issues?

Chimchar · 16/10/2019 19:26

It seems an awful lot...
it depends what they are for...has he lost his tie and gets a detention every day he rocks up without it? Or are the detentions for separate and different things every time?

I think that whatever they are for tbh, they're clearly not working!

What do school say about it?
Sounds like you're having a tough time... Thanks

AloeVeraLynn · 16/10/2019 19:26

Its appalling! What's going on?!

seaweedandmarchingbands · 16/10/2019 19:26

an action plan to resolve the issues.

If they are following the behaviour policy, perhaps they should be asking the OP for the action plan? They are already taking steps to address the behaviour.

Original poster
Mortifiedmummy12 · 16/10/2019 19:26

Sorry mumsnet accidentally change the wrong number amount , it is still 6 weeks not 26 weeks. It was meant to say he has had 26 detentions in 6 weeks not 25 detentions in 26 weeks.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 16/10/2019 19:27

What are they for?

mbosnz · 16/10/2019 19:28

Mine have had zilch in two years.

WaterSheep · 16/10/2019 19:28

I think the school needs to employ another behaviour strategy as throwing detentions around clearly isnt working

Agreed. After that many detentions the sanction will have lost any meaning. I would hazard a guess that very soon; if not already, the OPs child will be boasting of their detention record. It will be a badge of honor rather than a deterrent.

twoheaped · 16/10/2019 19:28

Eldest dd, 1 detention whole school life.
Dd2, year 9, 2 detentions so far.

20 detentions (for behaviour) in the school I worked at would kick off the exclusion policy.

Why are they getting them?

AloeVeraLynn · 16/10/2019 19:28

So pretty much every day?