To ask whether I should give up learning to drive?

[GummyBear81]

I've done 3 tests now and am failing worse each time. My instructor thinks I'm ready and I drive fine on lessons but my nerves are horrendous and I'm failing badly but never on the same things.

1st test - 1 dangerous, 1 serious, can't remember minors. Dangerous was taking the wrong exit at a roundabout, panicking and not checking my mirrors. Serious was 3 minors for clearance to obstructions.

2nd test, in my defense I was very ill and should have cancelled it. I had to roll the window down because I was sweating so much and couldn't turn my head properly for parallel park and got hit with a serious. Also a dangerous fault for awareness - I took a turn far too fast and nearly hit a parked car.

1. 2 dangerous and a serious. Dangerous was rolling back at lights (so stupid, didn't put my handbrake on), getting beeped and another was stupidly going ahead when a Range Rover was coming down the street and nearly hitting a parked car. Serious was fucking up my parallel park again. This time the instructor said I was a good driver but clearly fell apart once I'd fucked up my parallel park and let things snowball.

I'm on the verge of giving up. I clearly need more work on my manoeveres but otherwise I drive uneventfully in lessons now. My instructor doesn't think I need more, he thinks I need help with my nerves.

I'm just fed up and demoralised and feeling shit. Any hope for me?

I'd get a new instructor tbh. I found (after several tests) that my instructor was shocking and I did much better with another. I had an ex who passed on his seventh test.

Keep going. If you can, see if someone you know can insure you on their car and take you round between tests- made a load of difference for me.

I have the same issue I am afraid! I've failed four now. I can't tell you if my problem is nerves or I'm just a shit driver tbh. But I decided to give it a break and when I start again I'm going to start with another instructor. I'm going to be very picky about the instructor and make sure it's someone I feel will tell me when I make mistakes and explain things to me, because I felt my current one did not. The other thing that didn't help was time pressure. So if I have lessons again I'm not putting a time limit on it - I'll Fearn for as long as it takes.

Keep going! You could talk to your gp about something to help keep you calm.

I feel like my instructor is very good though. He explains mistakes to me, challenges me, I'm comfortable with him and on my lessons there's no problem. He hasn't had to intervene at all in any way for quite a bit now.

I agree with pp get a new instructor. I took 6 tests (one if them the examiner was going for a drink after!).

I had an instructor that talked to me all the time when he wasnt there i didnt know what to do.

1. Get a new instructor
2. Talk to yourself out loud
3. So something about nerves kalms or meditation etc

You will get there x

It sits there sound like the issue is driving, it sounds like the issue is nerves.

Bach's Rescue Remedy
Ask for your instructor to come out on the test with you (DH is an instructor and does this if a pupil fails a couple of times. He can see what they're doing wrong on test and work to correct it. Sometimes the pupil just feels more relaxed with him there).

I passed on my fourth attempt. I had the same issue as you but I changed instructors and passed with no errors the fourth time! Keep going you will get there.
To combat the nerves I tried kalms which helped.

Hypnotherapy to calm your nerves?

I started learning at 17, and again at 21, and again at 25 then finally passed this year at 33. I only every took tests in the past year (failed first 2 with stupid mistakes) but I never felt ready with my other instructors despite them saying i was. It took finding a good instructor who was calming and very meticulous. She was fab. I was still really nervous at my tests but the one I passed was a perfect drive with not even a minor.

Given how terrible I was I truly believe anyone can drive... you just need the right instructor.

I could have written this. Took me 4 instructors and 5 tests but get there in the end. Don't give up!

On my lessons I narrate everything. On my tests I've failed so soon (although not on the third, that was uneventful til my shit parallel park then it snowballed) I've just clammed up.

I started learning at 17 passed at 24 and a few more then 3 tests. TRy a different instructor/ car.

Can’t see how a different instructor would help?!

Got*

I failed 8 times and then passed on my 9th time -(by the skin of my teeth like 13 minors) 5 more minutes in that test and I would have failed!! That was 11 years ago and I am a pro now and will not be without driving! Don’t give up hope if that’s what you want to achieve!

I used to be similar. Drove well on lessons, did fine, then failed by making shocking mistakes that I'd never once done in a lesson, because I'd fall apart and drive irrationally.

Towards the end of my lessons, I failed 3 tests with the same instructor, and he actually sat in on one of my tests - he had to agree not to say anything or make eye contact in the mirror, but they are apparently allowed to sit in. He thought it might help calm me, but it was worse and I ended up having the examiner slam the dual brakes on on a dual carriageway slip road because I pulled out in front of a lorry.

I don't know what did it, but I finally passed on the next test after that, with the same examiner. I think maybe because when I came out for the test, the examiner (same one who slammed the brakes on a month before) said 'oh yes, I've examined you before, I remember!' and I immediately thought I'd fail, so maybe I relaxed or something, because I managed to pass, and she said my driving was fine.

I must have failed 10 tests over several years, with every ridiculous stupid mistake in the book, including many dangerous things that my instructors said they'd never seen in lessons. Once I passed, I did a pass plus course and some extra lessons, and I think I'm a good driver now - lots of passengers have said they feel perfectly safe, and I've never had an accident in maybe 12 years of driving.

OP, could you maybe try and do some intense lessons? I think before I passed I did several 3 hour sessions over a week or two, and I'm sure it helped.

Look, it sounds like you're making silly mistakes.
What you need is a patient instructor, and plenty more experience on the roads. I don't just mean the manoeuvres, though they will be important for the test, I mean an instructor who will let you simply drive around test routes and gain more and more confidence.
I don't know where you're from, but I know my dad is an instructor and would absolutely help you if you were anywhere near here.
I was similar, as I suffer with anxiety, and I ended up switching to an automatic and passing first time of trying in that.
People have told me I was silly to do this, because I may need to drive a manual - but ultimately I may not have passed that test even now, and I've been on the roads for four years now, which I feel has been more than worth the swap.

I agree with Sunshine Angel - I drove lots and lots and LOTS in the last couple of months before I passed. Rather than 'practicing' my instructor was really laid back and would say 'let's drive to.... (scenic place) and look at the view' or 'let's drive to... (busy place) and see how many idiots are on the roundabout' and stuff, and he'd sit way back in his seat, feet far away from the dual controls, chatting about random stuff that was nothing to do with driving, and I'm sure it helped me think about other things and just drive.

No keep going. Lots of people fail their test. I failed three times too. Passing the test is a lot harder than just driving normally

Are you getting plenty of practice between lessons? It does sound like nerves are the issue so practicing as much as you can in your own time, including manoeuvres and the roads around the rest centre should help.

That's what I have been doing though, for about two months. We just drive around. I also did an intense bout when I was on leave of 14 lessons in 2 weeks. But I'm still failing

I have no one to practice with, and no access to another car.

I failed a lot more more than three tests and got more anxious each time. In the end I got a new instructor and had a break from tests just 'learnt' again. I had previously been happy with my instructor but I was taking to my friends about her lessons and she was complaining about her instructor being strict about things that hasn't even been mentioned to me! She was just starting and it's already failed multiple tests. I failed the next one from residual nerves (was absolutely shaking) but the one after I passed with no minors at all.

@SunshineAngel I don't know where you're from, but I know my dad is an instructor and would absolutely help you if you were anywhere near here.

Don't suppose your dad is in NI?