To wear leggings to DD's University Graduation?

[OneToughMudderFudder]

Big row this morning as DD wants me to wear a bloody evening dress like she is .

I'd planned to wear my new knee high brown boots, camel knee length coat with a black polo neck and leggings underneath.

DH (who is wearing a suit) and DD are horrified. It's a daytime ceremony.

Who's BU?

Don't embarrass your DD
It doesn't matter if it's oxcam she's asked you not to wear leggings
Why are you channelling your outfit around the boots that you'd forgotten about

Leggings?!!! No,no,NO!!!!!! You’re going to a graduation not shopping at Lidl!!!

Is this a troll? First leggings and now over the knee boots? Why don't you just get a pair of bloody waders and be done with it?
For my graduation in 1994, the audience was well dressed - men in business suits and women mostly in knee-length dresses/skirts with matching jackets with the occasional trouser suit.

Dress like you're going to a day time wedding. No hat. Borrow something if you need to.

Some of these comments are hilarious. The OP doesn’t give a shit about her daughter because she wasn’t aware that dressing up was the ‘done thing’? That she’s making it all about her because she’s not comfortable in heels?! You people are mental.
My mother came to my graduation in flat shoes, linen trousers and a jumper. And you know what? She was the proudest I’ve ever seen anyone, and I didn’t give the first shit what she wore, because she’s my mum who supports me.

At the university I work at there is a dress code for graduations and everyone including the parents looks very smart. I'd wear something a bit posher if I were you.

I'm with your DD on this one.

No, not leggings. That’s far too casual. I’m also an academic and have sat on stage at numerous graduations. Most people wear the kind of clothes they’d wear to a christening or an evening business function. Smart dress or separates and a medium heeled or flattish shoe. It is a wonderful celebration of achievement and hard work. Congratulations to your daughter on getting her degree. You must be very proud.

OwlBeThere no the soap is making it all about her because instead of wearing some smart trousers, flat shoes, and nice top (as your mother did) ; she’s now insisting she HAS to wear above the knee boots and ‘hobble round’. There’s nothing wrong with wearing flat shoes, but the combination of leggings and a polo neck has been pointed out as too casual for the occasion.

Her own daughter has explained to her that dressing up would mean a lot to her, and that she didn’t feel leggings would be smart enough, and the OP still didn’t listen to her own daughter until a bunch of strangers on the internet said the same thing. And now the weird over the top reaction involving above the knee boots?!?

I would not wear leggings to a graduation. I would not wear an evening dress either.

It is formal wear. Leggings are not formal wear.

Your husband is right to go in a suit. You should wear something like smart office attire too. You will look really out of place in leggings.

I had to buy a suitable dress for my DD1's graduation. I also found some fairly smart and more or less flat shoes on the Simply Be website because like you, I find it virtually impossible to walk in heeled shoes without falling.

Evening wear is over the top. It implies ball gowns etc. I never saw anyone wearing those and DD's graduation was from Warwick University, so was very formal.

@OwlBeThere I'm going to guess that your mum and the OP are quite different people! She hasn't said that she can't wear a smart dress for x y z reasons, if she's got over knee boots I'm guessing she's fairly young and likes clothes / fashion. In her OP she said herself that she "didn't realise it was that posh". There just seems to be a lack or respect for her daughter and for the occasion, which clearly wasn't an issue with your mum.

@Topseyt "evening wear" was a misnomer, as the OP then said her daughter was wearing the kind of dress you might wear as a wedding guest, which sounds like pretty standard graduation wear assuming no hat or fascinator!

Exactly @justintimberlakesfishwife ‘didn’t realise’ not ‘doesn’t care’. Maybe the OP just isn’t that au fait with clothes. Isn’t comfortable in anything but her original boots. My mum didn’t look ‘smart’ sud was clean and presentable and casual but mostly she was THERE. Which is ultimately what matters. Saying she doesn’t care about her daughter because she is struggling with this is harsh and patently untrue. If she didn’t care she wouldn’t be asking for advice here!

Suede over the knee boots? Holy heck. Are you also planning on wearing a tricorn hat with a feather in it, to go for the full Dandy Highwayman look?

Do you have a normal skirt or dress, or normal trousers, to wear with normal footwear?

OwlBeThere But surely you admit it’s a bit odd to say you “didn’t realise” after your daughter and husband have both said to you “it’s a smart event, what you are planning to wear isn’t suitable, please reconsider”...

OP, just thinking, if you were considering leggings, presumably you have good legs. Would you therefore be both comfortable and smart in some trousers, which you could wear with flat shoes to avoid the hobbling aspect? The polo neck could stay if it's a nice shape and not bobbly.

I wouldn't take the OP's word for it that her DD is wearing an 'evening dress'. Given that she thinks leggings are appropriate attire for a graduation ceremony, I don't expect she knows much about dress codes.

@OwlBeThere I didn't agree with you though. I actually don't think the OP comes across as someone who particularly understands the type of occasion a graduation is, or the importance of it. Someone who wears over the knee boots knows about clothes!

@FloatingObject It's not 'showy' and not influenced by America at all (a lot of these universities were founded before the US was...)

It's a formal event to celebrate people being awarded with degrees. You dress professionally and smart.

Some people have some very funny, staid, frumpy and old-fashioned views about leggings.

I imagine the OP's outfit to look something like this but with a longer, smarter camel coat, which would be perfect, IMO.

@shearwater - that is still not a suitable outfit for a graduation!

@shearwater That is exactly the kind of outfit I imagine OP was thinking about.
She would certainly stand out from the crowd wearing that as a parent of a graduate at a graduation ceremony.
I think her dd has indicated that she would prefer her DM to blend a little more by wearing more conventional attire if possible.

Genuinely, that's the kind of thing I'd wear to walk the dog or to the supermarket. I can't imagine why anyone would think that it is appropriate for a formal event. It's fine for meeting a friend for coffee but not a graduation.

I guess if your daughter is bothered about it you should wear something a bit smarter to keep her happy. Though personally I don't think it really matters. I cant even remember what I was wearing at my graduation, never mind anybody else. I am sure I didn't buy anything new as I would have preferred not to go really. It wouldn't hurt you to wear a smarter pair of trousers though would it? That would be a fair compromise. Graduations are terribly dull occasions in my experience and certainly not worth falling out with loved ones over. Just buy yourself an inexpensive pair of formal trousers and grin and bear it.