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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cancer is such a massive twattish piece of shit. Fuck off.

92 replies

MustardScreams · 14/10/2019 21:26

I am 30. When I was 20 I thought it was old. Now I’m 30 I feel like a child still.

I have breast cancer. Now what fucking genius thought that was ok? I have a 2 year old and am a single mum. What the actual FUCK!

I’m in the midst of treatment (had a lumpectomy 3 weeks ago and about to start rads) and even though it could be worse (why do people keep telling me this) I’m having a completely shit evening.

I just fucking hate it. I hate it and I wanted to whinge loudly but not to my friends and family because they’re extremely positive at all times! You’ll be fine! Can’t talk about being scared! Gotta get through it!

OP posts:
Diaryofalways87 · 14/10/2019 21:51

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in February this year, at age 31. I know getting cancer at any age is awful, but seriously in your early 30's??? It's really shit. I have a 6 and a 1 year old so I can sympathise. I'm so tired and feel like I'm missing out on their lives. I feel like such a burden to my parents, who have been amazing and helped me nearly every day. I'm about to start radiotherapy soon after 4 months of chemo and a mastectomy. Sorry if this post sounds all about me, I just wanted you to know you are not alone, although you probably feel it. I hope the rest of your treatment goes well.

MarianaMoatedGrange · 14/10/2019 21:52

Cancer is a cunt. Just fuck it right off.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 14/10/2019 21:52

That totally sucks OP. YAsooooNBU!

I second the Maggies recommendation. They are amazing. An oasis of help, support, information and kindness when everything has gone to shit.

EmperorBallpitine · 14/10/2019 21:52

Its absolute arse. I am 42, have three children and am currently on a chemotherapy regime to manage lung cancer which I've somehow managed to get despite being V HEALTHY. I did NOT sign off on this. I. AM. PISSED OFF.
But afa everyone else k I am a fucking ray of sunshine. They keep telling me I'm so brave. No. What I'm currently doing is the lifestyle equivalent of putting my hands over my ears and singing LA LA LA. My hair is falling out in chunks. How long will I be on chemotherapy? "Forever"
I am so angry.
Thanks for this thread. As you can see you are not alone in wishing to raise a V to that disease.

Tigger001 · 14/10/2019 21:52

Cancer is a bitch and it just doesn't give 2 shits !!!

If you want to shout, you go ahead...open your front door and scream that cancer is a bitch all the way around your close or down your street.

I dont buy into all this think positive, be brave bullshit. Not all the time, sometimes you need to scream, shout and cry, its good for you.

Sorry you are having a shit time, cancer sucks.

Lifeisabeach09 · 14/10/2019 21:55

@MustardScreams and @Sharpandshineyteeth, I have no words but I'm listening...

SandunesAndRainclouds · 14/10/2019 21:57

My DD has cancer 3 years ago, and I got sick and tired of hearing about how brave and strong we were being, how she’d be ok blah blah blah.

What I really wanted was someone to validate how utterly shocking and shit it all was.

So, OP, I agree. Cancer is the biggest bastarding cunt and it can fuck the fuck off. Rant away here, say what you need.

Ilikesweetpeas · 14/10/2019 22:05

My family are currently affected by this bastard disease too. I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis MustardScreams, and all of those others who also have this. Sending lots of strength to you all, I hope you have support in real life. We are finding the specialist nurses very helpful

caringiscreepy · 14/10/2019 22:07

Unbelievably shit and unfair OP and you've every right to be as bloody pissed off as you want. I'm sorry you're going through this

LtJudyHopps · 14/10/2019 22:07

Oh OP other people’s positivity although well intentioned can be so irritating! So can other people moaning about trivial things. Basically sometimes you can’t win no matter what!
It’s shit. So utterly shit. Rant and moan away to your hearts content.

confusedandemployed · 14/10/2019 22:08

Fair play, that is fucking shitballs. None of us are immune to the sheer headfuckery which is cancer, but you're young and strong, and you most definitely can fuck it in the arse.

All power to you.

Celebelly · 14/10/2019 22:09

It's shit. My mum had cancer and thankfully survived. My DP lost his mum to non-Hodgkins Lymphoma at the age of 49. My best friends mum died from ovarian cancer at 57. It's fucking indiscriminate.

Thinking of you, OP. I had a breast cancer scare when pregnant (thankfully just a benign cyst) and thinking about having cancer with a child in the equation made me terrified, and still does. I hope your treatment goes well Thanks

mumtomaxwell · 14/10/2019 22:09

I’ve never understood why people with cancer are expected to be ‘brave’ and ‘fight’. Cancer is a shitty and terrifying disease. You rant and say whatever you want, whenever you want.

Original poster
MustardScreams · 14/10/2019 22:10

@PurpleDaisies thank you for saying I don’t have to ‘fight’. You’re the first person to do so!

@missyB1 I get you! That’s my mantra also, it’s only going to get better. I have to believe that.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 14/10/2019 22:10

you're young and strong, and you most definitely can fuck it in the arse.

How do you know that? This is the sort of meaningless positivity that pisses people with cancer off.

Missingsandraohingreys · 14/10/2019 22:12

It’s worth finding a listening talking service OP so you can have a rant
Sending my prayers your way to come trough this scary and stressful time Flowers

Original poster
MustardScreams · 14/10/2019 22:12

@aweedropofsancerre fuck that is awful and shit and terrifying. I won’t say I hope you’re ok because I know you’re not. Do you have good RL support? Really loads of love

OP posts:
Chilver · 14/10/2019 22:13

Oh and the comments of 'you're so brave doing it with a newborn' and the like - not like I had a fucking choice, is it???! And the years of post chemo/surgery complications causing me mental and physical angst - 'but you're ALIVE', yes, yes I am, (and yes, and grateful!!) but please allow me to be pissed off at the shit state my young body is in due to the impact of the treatment!!!!

Aaand, rant over, back to smiling, positive, me Wink

PurpleDaisies · 14/10/2019 22:13

There’s a nice article here about the language used around cancer...

breastcancernow.org/about-us/news-personal-stories/battling-brave-or-victim-why-language-cancer-matters

rainingallday · 14/10/2019 22:13

@MustardScreams I am really sorry for you. I hope you make it through OK.

It is very wrong that you have it. A young woman, and one who is a mother too.

Not that non-mothers deserve it more! But when a child it seems a bit worse somehow.

rainingallday · 14/10/2019 22:13

'When a child is involved'.... sorry.

stucknoue · 14/10/2019 22:14

It's horrible at any age but when you have little ones it's particularly crap - it's not that the drs aren't good at treating these days, more that the treatments are so horrible. Rant away, online is great for that!

Original poster
MustardScreams · 14/10/2019 22:15

@Titsywoo you are lovely! I have my BCN and a therapist. I have got support, but sometimes I just need to type what I’m feeling and MN is pretty good for that. Thank you though Flowers

OP posts:
Newschapter · 14/10/2019 22:16

It is fucking heart breakingly awful.

My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer at 32, her youngest was a few months old.

I hope your treatment goes well, I'll be thinking of you.

chinam · 14/10/2019 22:17

Cancer is a bastard. Flowers for all on this thread who are dealing with it.