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Original poster

Dating new man.. Sex talk

89 replies

Pheebs990 · 14/10/2019 20:33

Recently dating someone new (around 4 months in). We've slept together once and it was unprotected but he did pull out. After this I was late for my cycle and was extremely paranoid I may be pregnant (he was aware I was stressed) but I eventually came on and was just late.

After I made a point of saying I would never be so stupid again as I already have a little one and am in no position to have any other one.

He then mentioned to me about going on the pill and I said I hadn't wanted too for personal reasons and that also rules out a fair few other contraceptive methods. I mentioned using condoms and he said he didn't want too as its never worked in the past (he can't keep it up, sorry tmi).

But, after saying that I didn't want to use the pill, he replied with 'it can't be that bad' to which I spelled the reasons out again. It came up in another conversation which he asked if I'd started taking it yet and oviovusly I told him I hadn't. Then today he's messaged (not randomly but again in the topic of the convo) that 'pulling out seems best then as the chances are slim, but knowing our luck you'll get pregnant' I replied with an off message as I didn't find it funny bearing in mind I was very stressed before and he replied with a blunt message back.

Am I blowing it out of proportion or am I right to be somewhat annoyed by this?

OP posts:
Coldemort · 14/10/2019 22:56

He has every right not to wear a condom if he doesn't want to. His body, his choice.
You however have every right to not want to have sex with him without a condom. Your body, your choice.
I got the implant about 5 months into my relationship, up utill that point, in the words of my partner, theres a lot of fun to be have that doesn't involve penetrative sex.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 14/10/2019 23:02

He should go and see a doctor/therapist If he has erectile dysfunction. Risking a baby/STD is not the answer.

oabiti · 14/10/2019 23:15

What about the copper coil?

timshelthechoice · 14/10/2019 23:19

What about the copper coil?

Yeah, because you really want heavier periods to enable some thicko syphilis ridden numpty who's been going round having unprotected sex with anyone who will let him dip his wick Hmm.

EnglishRose13 · 15/10/2019 04:23

How has talking to him not made your vagina clamp shut?!

FluffyAlpaca19 · 15/10/2019 04:48

www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/visiting-an-sti-clinic/

How soon can you get an std & HIV test done. You have a child that you need to prioritise as well as your health. Get tested ASAP and dump the guy. Who knows what nasty diseases he's carrying.

Grumpymcgrumperson · 15/10/2019 05:55

He sounds disgusting. He doesn’t respect you.

NewRoadToHappinessxx · 15/10/2019 06:03

Maybe he wants to be a father? What was his attitude when u were late ?

Hederex · 15/10/2019 06:35

Run like the wind!

Bottledate · 15/10/2019 06:50

He sounds like a twat and I can't believe you are asking.

LizzieSiddal · 15/10/2019 06:58

Maybe he wants to be a father? What was his attitude when u were late?

Hmm
minesagin37 · 15/10/2019 07:01

He's a creep. Get rid. Why do women even progress to a second discussion with men like this?

PooWillyBumBum · 15/10/2019 07:02

Why should YOU need to take hormonal contraception? Why isn’t HE taking meds to sort out his floppy peen!?

What a grim little man.

dottiedodah · 15/10/2019 07:10

I think he is being incredibly selfish and short sighted ! When has this method ever worked ? Bin him now and look elsewhere.

finn1020 · 15/10/2019 07:14

If he can’t keep it up when using a condom get rid ... unless u want another kid and/or a STD.

PollyPelargonium52 · 15/10/2019 07:19

People like him need to take viagra and learn to get used to condoms. End of.

CodenameVillanelle · 15/10/2019 07:24

There are men who can't stay hard with a condom but that's not your problem.
Please stop having sex with him. He's incredibly selfish and pushy and probably diseased if he has unprotected sex so readily.

pooopypants · 15/10/2019 07:26

Wanker. Or that's what he should be, when you ditch his selfish arse.

Pulling out is a notoriously unreliable method of contraception and I certainly wouldn't risk it.

"It can't be that bad" ????? Tell him to come back to the table when he's pumped his body full of artificial hormones. Prick.

Hagbeth · 15/10/2019 07:35

He sounds like a selfish twat. I wonder if he got STD’s if he refuses condoms. Yuk. 🤢

Savoretti · 15/10/2019 07:36

Why were you tested prior AND since? Presume that means he’s still sleeping with other people as well?

Nestofvipers · 15/10/2019 07:41

Pulling out is a notoriously unreliable method of contraception and I certainly wouldn't risk it.

Pulling out is NOT a method of contraception at all.

Glitterb · 15/10/2019 07:50

Seriously? You have just met this man and already having unprotected sex? What about STIs?

Either he uses a condom or there is no sex! Simples

over50andfab · 15/10/2019 08:28

For those who missed it, the OP has said they have both been tested for STIs both before and after this happened.

That said, given his lack of respect, unless I’d actually seen the results of these tests I’d be mistrustful if it was just on his say so that he’d had them.

MsVestibule · 15/10/2019 09:10

I think it's highly unlikely that both the OP and her 'new man' have both been tested before and since. The sort of person who thinks it's OK to refuse to use a condom and try to pressurise a woman into using hormonal contraceptives is definitely not the type of person to get themselves down to the sexual health clinic once, let alone twice.

sprite25 · 15/10/2019 09:49

Wow are people really still this naive and uneducated in this day and age?! Using the 'pull out method' is no form of contraception, nevermind the risk of STIs. OP educate yourself and stop having unprotected sex before you end up pregnant, with STI or both!