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AIBU?

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Original poster

Son scratched and pinched on face at school

87 replies

HeyitsPorscha · 14/10/2019 16:06

My son is in year 1 at school and today I got a call after lunch from the school to say he had been attacked by another boy who 'pinched and scratched his face'. I wasn't sure what to expect at pick up but I'm so shocked by what my sons face looks like.
He has deep scratches over both cheeks and above his ear like he has been attacked by a cat. Apparently the child is in reception that did this and lost some play time. I'm so shocked and I don't know what to do and if there is anything I can do.
The child is obviously around 5 years old and the school have punished him and told his parents (who I dont know).
I am going to go in and speak to the head about it tomorrow but I havent been invited in to speak to anyone and the teacher said nothing to me after school she just let him out to me. I think she didnt know what to say and on the phone she was very stuttery so I knew to expect something bad but no where near as bad as what he actually looks like. I've never had an issue like this. How should the school be dealing with it as it feels like they aren't really...

Any advice would be gratefully received

OP posts:
Sailorsgirl44 · 14/10/2019 16:08

What do you want the school to do?

sauvignonblancplz · 14/10/2019 16:11

What would you like the school to do?
You were invited to speak to someone when they phoned you.
I am sure you’re upset though, when there is an incident at school or anywhere else .

Tvstar · 14/10/2019 16:11

What more do you expect them to do. Its not their fault

DriftingLeaves · 14/10/2019 16:15

I would expect them to keep the child away from my son. If he has a history of such behaviour I'd ask about safeguarding.

InDubiousBattle · 14/10/2019 16:16

When he was in reception my ds was hurt by a year one child. The head spoke to me when it happened and went into year one to speak to them generally about respect and kindness, I was told that they spoke to the boy and his parents. It was one of a series of incidents that happened after lunch when reception and yr1 played together so I spoke to the head about increasing the number of staff in the play ground at this time. It's their job to ensure the children's safety and that includes from other kids.

sauvignonblancplz · 14/10/2019 16:19

The injuries you’re describing sound very sore and you really do have my sympathies .
But definitely speak to the school if you feel it would help. Ask do they think it is an isolated incident & explain your fears.... which are what exactly? That you think your child may be hurt again?
Unfortunately that much is completely out of our control- if you want to satisfy yourself that the school has followed its discipline policy etc do so. Apart from that I’m not sure what you expect .
Young children will lash out, your son was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I do hope he’s ok and you are too.

Starstruck2020 · 14/10/2019 16:19

Are you taking your son to the GP incase he needs antibiotics?

sauvignonblancplz · 14/10/2019 16:20

@Starstruck2020 Hmm

Original poster
HeyitsPorscha · 14/10/2019 16:22

I havent been invited in to speak to anyone. I am going in myself

OP posts:
Starstruck2020 · 14/10/2019 16:22

Umm why the Confused. oP described deep gashes on the cheeks and ears. They could get infected and cause scarring. If they are as they sound by the way it’s written I would be getting a review

Original poster
HeyitsPorscha · 14/10/2019 16:25

I think others would be alarmed if a 5 year old did this to their child. I'm not over reacting and I take your points about what do I expect them to do about it but I don't think this should have been allowed to happen. Why did no one see this happen

Son scratched and pinched on face at school
Son scratched and pinched on face at school
Son scratched and pinched on face at school
OP posts:
Original poster
HeyitsPorscha · 14/10/2019 16:26

These are just a snap shot obviously I've had to crop other bits out so as not to identify him but his face is covered

OP posts:
Drabarni · 14/10/2019 16:28

I've never heard of being invited in when your child has been hurt by another.
They have punished and informed the parents. I'm not sure what else they can do from your pov.
Whatever they talk to the other parents about/ or anything put in place is none of your concern.
Tell your ds to stay away from him.

DriftingLeaves · 14/10/2019 16:33

I hope the punishment was more than just missing playtime. Those injuries are not part and parcel of school life.

Lemonlimesoda · 14/10/2019 16:34

Given where the injuries are it looks like the other child had more than one shot at your child. Have they explained what happened leading up to this? Whether the other child has any SN (not that it makes it ok)? Or how they were being supervised? I think that would be my biggest query with them tomorrow is what supervision there was and how will they ensure it doesn’t happen again to yours or anyone else’s child.

Original poster
HeyitsPorscha · 14/10/2019 16:35

I personally dont think this is normal behaviour for a 5 year old. He had time to scratch his entire face and above his ears and no one saw. I dont think others would be so blase if it was their child.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/10/2019 16:37

Ouch that looks sore.

It must have taken a few minutes to inflict that many scratches; I would be asking exactly where and when it happened and where was the teacher? Surely your son must have been screaming.

I appreciate they don't have eyes in the back of their heads (the teachers) but that is quite a dramatic bit of damage.

Did they treat him with antiseptic or anything?

Original poster
HeyitsPorscha · 14/10/2019 16:40

The punishment was just missing play time. I dont know what else they can do really when the child is 5. I do take that point I'm just shocked that it happened and no staff saw. They were clearly very shocked when my son went and told them and when they phoned me I nearly said just please spit it out because she was dancing round the subject clearly worried about how to tell me

OP posts:
Paddingtonthebear · 14/10/2019 16:40

This was a result of a child in my DD’s reception class pushing a door into her face. On purpose. Of course that couldn’t be proved. I was pretty pissed off when I collected her as the lump was big. But school did call to warn me and gave the suggestion of taking her to a&e (she didn’t need to go). The child was apparently spoken to. Nearly 2 years on and DD still has the scar and the child in question is in her class again this year and still quite unpleasant towards others. I will be mentioning it at parents evening soon as him upsetting or hurting someone in class seems to be a weekly occurrence. It’s all you can do though. If school are aware and have dealt with it and it’s a one off incident then you can’t really expect much more, the child is only reception age.

Paddingtonthebear · 14/10/2019 16:40

Here

Son scratched and pinched on face at school
MigGril · 14/10/2019 16:41

Have you been in a playground, children running around. They maybe have handful of lunch time supervision staff. Some will be in the dinner hall, you can't watch every child at once.

Lunch time is probably when the staff to child ratio is at it's lowest n most primary schools. Although at this time of year in DS school reception won't be mixing yet with the older one's as they have a fence and their own playground.

I've seen much worse, normally inflicted by older children. They even break bones sometimes on the play equipment. You can't watch them all, all of the time and eliminate all risk.

You can go into school and ask what happened. How they dealt with it, how they mean to reduce the risk going forward. I would imagine a recption child who's not yet used to mixing with the older one's and how to interact properly. They need the head to talk to them, although you can't expect the school to tell you anything about the other child other then they how they have dealt with it as he's not your child.

CuckooCuckooClock · 14/10/2019 16:41

Your poor ds. That’s an awful thing to happen to him.
I would expect school to tell me what had happened and how they were going to take steps to prevent it happening again.
Both my dc have been intentionally injured by other pupils at school and it’s very upsetting.

Clangus00 · 14/10/2019 16:44

Clean his scratches with Dettol and put some savlon or arnica cream on.
I'd be asking tomorrow how the school intend to keep your son (and others) safe.
Other than that I don't think there's anything else you can really do.
It's not nice to see your child hurt, did your son tell you how it happened? Were they rough playing or was he actually attacked?

ibanez0815 · 14/10/2019 16:44

What more do you expect them to do. Its not their fault

of cause it's the school's fault.

the scratches look quite sore and there are lots. If the other child is known for these kind of behaviours, school should put support in place to prevent them happening.

If it was a one off, I still would like to know how this happened. Obviously, the attack went on for some time and nobody must have noticed.

I would speak to school and ask them what has happened and what they intend to do to make sure there is no repeat. It has already happened. the best you can do is to make sure school have measures on place to prevent it from happening again.

Grasspigeons · 14/10/2019 16:48

That looks very sore and it must be a terrible shock. I would want some reassurance too. The school wont tell you anything about the other child or what happened other than they have followed procedure. As for how it happened, sadly, during lunch hours and break the staff to child ratio ist that great in most schools. Its also the time chikdren are least likely to cope if they do have SEN. Depending on the layout of a playground it is quite easy for an incident to occur as these things only take seconds. There could be 100 chikdren all running around, making noise with a few adults patrolling around. Id hope this other child is now being watched more closely as they are a known risk now.

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