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Original poster

Son scratched and pinched on face at school

87 replies

HeyitsPorscha · 14/10/2019 16:06

My son is in year 1 at school and today I got a call after lunch from the school to say he had been attacked by another boy who 'pinched and scratched his face'. I wasn't sure what to expect at pick up but I'm so shocked by what my sons face looks like.
He has deep scratches over both cheeks and above his ear like he has been attacked by a cat. Apparently the child is in reception that did this and lost some play time. I'm so shocked and I don't know what to do and if there is anything I can do.
The child is obviously around 5 years old and the school have punished him and told his parents (who I dont know).
I am going to go in and speak to the head about it tomorrow but I havent been invited in to speak to anyone and the teacher said nothing to me after school she just let him out to me. I think she didnt know what to say and on the phone she was very stuttery so I knew to expect something bad but no where near as bad as what he actually looks like. I've never had an issue like this. How should the school be dealing with it as it feels like they aren't really...

Any advice would be gratefully received

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 14/10/2019 16:48

Whst does OP want school to do? How about making sure her son is safe for a start!

CravingCheese · 14/10/2019 16:49

Its not their fault

It absolutely is.

you could contact the school to ask whether steps to prevent a repeat have been taken. And whether your DC received some sort of medical care. (simply desinfectant and band aids, I guess.)

HaileySherman · 14/10/2019 16:50

When I was first reading your post I was thinking that although unfortunate, those things happen and unless it became a pattern you really should trust the school to deal with it.

But then I started to comprehend that your child is 1 yo and a 5 yo did this? I'd be pretty livid. Why would a 5 yo have enough unsupervised access to a 1 yo? I'd want that answer immediately, along with an explanation and their plan to ensure it couldn't possibly occur again.

I'd have some serious reservations about what goes on there. I'm trying to imagine any reason those 2 age groups would ever even be together. Don't get me wrong, I've had to deal with my fair share of shocking pickups from daycare, so I'm not inexperienced there, but come on! They owe you a damn good explanation.

Paddingtonthebear · 14/10/2019 16:52

Her child is not 1 years old, he’s in Year 1. So. 5-6 years old

GoodGriefSunshine · 14/10/2019 16:54

TVstar
What more do you expect them to do. Its not their fault

Well that depends, doesn't it. If the other child has a history of violently attacking other dc then the school absolutely has a duty of care to monitor them closely to ensure this sort of thing doesn't happen. If the other child has anger issues then ditto. There are many situations where the school would be seen as being negligent.

Original poster
HeyitsPorscha · 14/10/2019 16:54

My son is 5 sorry if that wasnt clear. Thanks for the support and the kind words

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 14/10/2019 16:56

Your poor DC.

To be honest, you're acting like the school haven't done anything but they have. They've contacted you in an appropriate time frame, placed a sanction in place for the child in school, spoken to the child's parents who are following up. Given lunch supervision ratios mean that it's impossible for an adult to watch every child for the whole of lunch, I would imagine having discussions about supervision internally to see whether it was a quick things that happened whilst a member of staff had their back turned supervising other children or whether there's a problem with duties (that wouldn't be a public discussion).

I wouldn't have expected school to invite me in over that and I'm not sure going to the head is the right response here in my opinion anyway. It's a one off, a horrible one off, but it's been dealt with.

Original poster
HeyitsPorscha · 14/10/2019 16:57

My son says they didnt clean the scratches or apply any cream.

OP posts:
Mrsfrumble · 14/10/2019 16:58

If the offending child is in reception it’s likely they’ve only been at the school for a couple of weeks (with staggered starts etc) and the school might not have previously been aware of any issues with behaviour. Not that it helps the OP’s son, although I expect staff will be keeping a close eye now!

HaileySherman · 14/10/2019 17:01

Oh good lord. Looks like I can't comprehend after all. They are both 5? I read it as your son was 1 year not year 1 (from the States, I'm slow on understanding your school grades Blush).

OP, while upsetting, I think it's a typical policy of schools to inform the injuted party's parents of the injury and general circumstances (no names) and the aggressor's parents more specifically (again no names) so they can appropriately deal with the offending behavior, and then to dole out consequences (like missed recess etc).

It would be unusual to be invited in to discuss unless it was a pattern where your child is being the target of bullying, etc. Any sit down would more likely be with the offending child's parents. They aren't really allowed to give out too much information to you besides what they have, so not much to talk about.

If you feel that you want to talk more then you can ask for a meeting, but the fact that they did not doesn't surprise me.

Mrsfrumble · 14/10/2019 17:07

Actually a child in reception is more likely to be 4 at this point of the school year (not that makes it okay).

GaaaaarlicBread · 14/10/2019 17:12

@HeyitsPorscha I think that's disgusting . I know people are saying what do you expect the school to do but how did the kid have all that time to hurt your son without anyone noticing? That's crazy. I would want to have words with the Childs parents. But that's just me.

Billballbaggins · 14/10/2019 17:14

Ouch OP that looks sore - and it looks like the child has had time to scratch a couple of times so not adequately supervised.
I would be very upset if this was my son and those saying it’s not the school’s fault, errr yes it is. They’re meant to keep the children safe. That’s not just a swipe scratch that’s a proper attack to the face.
I’d also be very upset that they haven’t cleaned it or anything - even if they aren’t allowed to do that themselves for some stupid reason they could have told you when they called you that it needs cleaning so you could go to the school and do it yourself.
Children should be supervised better in general, I would want to ensure the child that did it would not be allowed anywhere near mine ever again and I would also want to know why the scratched weren’t cleaned.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/10/2019 17:18

My son says they didnt clean the scratches or apply any cream

That in itself is unacceptable and a terrible lack of care.

Buddytheelf85 · 14/10/2019 17:23

I’m surprised how many posters a) are minimising this by suggesting it’s not the school’s fault/the school have done all they can. They’re required to keep children in their care safe. Those scratches look horrific to me, there’s loads of them and they are on the OP’s son’s FACE! If the OP’s son came into school having sustained injuries like that at home I think they’d be referring it to the safeguarding lead. It appears that the only punishment the other child has received is missing playtime. And the OP hasn’t been invited to speak to anyone, she’s going in herself.

OP, you’re obviously not entitled to receive information about the other child but it seems to me you are entitled to know a) the circumstances in which the incident occurred (in particular, how was the other child able to have time to inflict so many scratches before being stopped) and b) what measures will be taken by the school to protect your son and other children and to prevent it from occurring again.

Molly2017 · 14/10/2019 17:25

For me it would be a question of what steps are being taken to stop this child doing this again. At 4 they know not to do this.
I would also insist that the other child’s parents are informed.

TabbyMumz · 14/10/2019 17:26

We hadxexactly the same thing, except I didn't get a phone call. First I knew was when I collected him and he had a massive scratch down his forehead. We found out a year later that the child that did it had ADHD.

MoonlightBonnet · 14/10/2019 17:30

It was probably a 4 year old that did this and may well be the first time he’s done something like this at school. It’s sore and horrible for your son but it is just something that happens occasionally with young children in even the best schools. What do you want? 4 year old in the stocks? They won’t share confidential SEN information with you if that’s what you want.

(My DS has also been scratched at school. Twice. The teacher told me. I asked my DS what had led up to it. He wasn’t a total innocent in either case. I didn’t feel the need for some mass safeguarding response.)

Original poster
HeyitsPorscha · 14/10/2019 17:30

Thanks everyone. The other parents in the playground were horrified and coming up asking me what has happened to him so it was shocking to see. Anyway thanks again for the words of advice

OP posts:
ExhaustedGrinch · 14/10/2019 18:11

I'd ask my DS to point out the boy at pick up just so I could actually show them the injuries DS has. I'd not trust the school to play it down as a small scratch and if my child had inflicted injuries like that I'd want to know about it so I could apologise to the child and parents myself!

I hope it hasn't made your DS worried to return to school Flowers

ChloeDecker · 14/10/2019 18:14

The child is obviously around 5 years old

You keep saying 5 but the reception child could be just turned 4. There’s a big developmental difference in a year at that age.

Missingsandraohingreys · 14/10/2019 18:18

Poor little fellow
Scratches aside is he able
To tell you
More about what happened ? I think his
Take on this , how it was adressed is hugely
Important Flowers

AthollPlace · 14/10/2019 18:20

With the deeper gouges I’d be worried about scarring. Perhaps now is the time to teach your child some self defence because the school clearly won’t protect him.

HugoSpritz · 14/10/2019 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AthollPlace · 14/10/2019 18:24

My son says they didnt clean the scratches or apply any cream
That in itself is unacceptable and a terrible lack of care
This is actually current best practice when offering first aid. You’re told not to use any cream because you have no idea what allergies the person may have. Even if they ask for cream or medication you can’t provide it otherwise you’ll be liable for any negative outcomes.