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Original poster

Son scratched and pinched on face at school

87 replies

HeyitsPorscha · 14/10/2019 16:06

My son is in year 1 at school and today I got a call after lunch from the school to say he had been attacked by another boy who 'pinched and scratched his face'. I wasn't sure what to expect at pick up but I'm so shocked by what my sons face looks like.
He has deep scratches over both cheeks and above his ear like he has been attacked by a cat. Apparently the child is in reception that did this and lost some play time. I'm so shocked and I don't know what to do and if there is anything I can do.
The child is obviously around 5 years old and the school have punished him and told his parents (who I dont know).
I am going to go in and speak to the head about it tomorrow but I havent been invited in to speak to anyone and the teacher said nothing to me after school she just let him out to me. I think she didnt know what to say and on the phone she was very stuttery so I knew to expect something bad but no where near as bad as what he actually looks like. I've never had an issue like this. How should the school be dealing with it as it feels like they aren't really...

Any advice would be gratefully received

OP posts:
Bertieandernie · 14/10/2019 18:38

To the people blaming the school / staff, id love to see you do playground duty!!!

I’m a TA and let me tell you playground duty ain’t easy and this goes on without people seeing !

The school followed the behaviour policy what more do you want ?

Drabarni · 14/10/2019 18:52

Of course it isn't the schools fault, they can't watch every child all the time.
Schools are under staffed, budgets are slashed and most kids get scratched or bitten at some stage. I know all mine did, even dd got a chunk bit out of her nose in Y1, it happens.

Drabarni · 14/10/2019 18:54

OP, ffs H.ed because you sure don't like school life for your child.
Wtf would they put cream on it, what if he was allergic, you'd complain then.

AutumnColours9 · 14/10/2019 18:56

This happened to my son and he still has a scar on his face a decade later. The same boy went on to become more violent and made the class pretty awful. He was expelled shortly after starting high school.

EmmiJay · 14/10/2019 18:56

Wow. A little boy pushed my DD over in the playground and I was livid when I saw her knee bruised and cut up. I dealt with it myself and went right to the parents. They keep their boy well away from my child now. Thats always an option. Hope your poor son heals quickly and isn't touched by that boy again.

Butterfly02 · 14/10/2019 19:15

I think I'd be wanting to know what is being done to prevent similar incidents happening. Was this a one off incident by this child (eg out of character) or is the child known for such violent outbursts. What was staff/ child ratio at time of incident. What will they be doing to give my child confidence that he is safe at school. Do staff think punishment reflected the crime. Was an incident form completed / can it be viewed. What lessons will staff learn from this incident. Will any changes be made to safeguard children in the future due to this incident. Was dc seen by first aid (is this documented). If this has affected dc confidence /thoughts feelings re school then how will they support you to give him confidence in school staff/ help dc feel safe. Best of luck with your meeting. Also if things are promised in meeting request they put this in writing /follow up to let you know this has been done.

VolcanionSteamArtillery · 14/10/2019 19:23

Actually I'd start with my child.

Do they know the child who did it and how did it happen. Is this a child your child regularly spends time with.

Id have this knowledge first before i asked for an explanation from the school

Rubywhoo · 14/10/2019 19:24

Ouch!! Your poor DS!

babybythesea · 14/10/2019 19:39

Can I just say, to the poster who suggested approaching the child to show them the result of their scratching - don't. Don't approach other people's children in the playground to have a go, or have your say. We have parents at our school who did and it almost ended in police involvement as it escalated to conflict between the adults while the children were watching, shocked and scared.
You won't be told more than you have been about the consequences for another child. You can by all means ask what the school will do to prevent it happening again.

And to those saying 'kept in at playtime isn't much'- what do you want? The child is 5 at most, more likely 4 at this stage in the year. How long do you punish your own child for? Staying in at playtime is painful for most kids that age. Any sanction needs to be immediate - keeping him in for a week, say, would not be appropriate for that age.

The school slipped up and they will know it - I'd feel hideously guilty if it happened on my watch. But I'm uncomfortable with an almost baying-for-blood attitude when the other child is only 4 or 5. Just ask how they mean to prevent it recurring.

MoonlightBonnet · 14/10/2019 19:46

Jesus, some of you people must be absolute nightmares for the school to deal with.

OP, have you asked your DS what happened in the lead up to being scratched?

TheSultanofPingu · 14/10/2019 19:55

I'm a midday supervisor in a junior school. There are five of us supervising around 160 children in the playground. I like to think we are an observant bunch, but yes, every so often a child will be hurt by another child unfortunately. A grazed knee and a group of children falling out can soon put two of us out of action, so then we're down to three supervising a large area.
I think the most important thing is how the incident was dealt with when the scratches were noticed.

KurriKurri · 14/10/2019 20:00

I think you would be perfectly reasonable to ask what the school are doing to make sure this doesn't happen again. Yes kids can do things very quickly, the other child is new to school etc etc. But I think parents should be given some kind of explanation - this is what upsets people and makes them annoyed - having your injred child shoved at you with no sensible discussion of preventing reoccurance, and no proper details of how the injury occured. Poeple aren;t baying for blood they just want a few facts and to be told that appropriate action has been taken when their child is hurt.
I think they could ask the child's parents to make sure his nails are kept cut short for a start - you;ve got to have some nails to do that amount of damage.

And OP - keep a close eye on those cuts - not to alarm you but kids have grubby hands and they could become infected Sad. Poor little boy.

MillfredTheGreat · 14/10/2019 20:01

Quite shocked by the number of posters who seem to think that is developmentally normal behaviour for a four year old. Is it really? My DS is 3 and I would be extremely surprised if he or any of his peers would injure another child that badly.

Teachermaths · 14/10/2019 20:08

I don't think this is developmentally normal behaviour.

I do think the school has acted mostly OK. They phoned you about the incident and they punished the other child. They are limited with effective punishments for such a young age. The school are also limited with the information they can give about another child.

Students can't be supervised 100% at all times. There are usually only a few midday supervisors for hundreds of children. They try their best but sometimes incidents pass them by.

RachelEllenR · 14/10/2019 20:09

@EmmiJay I'd also keep my child away from yours if possible if that's how you react after one incident.

My daughter was hurt by the same child a couple of times - it can happen very quickly. I didn't overreact in front of my child as I think that scares them more but explained what to do if they felt the child may do it again (which depends on the reason - the other child potentially could be defending themselves though sounds very unlikely from what you've said). Now the school know that the likely 4 year old may react like this I'd expect closer monitoring but they can't watch all the time.

NotGreenNotKeen · 14/10/2019 20:11

Lots of sudocrem on them until scars go xxx

hopityhopity · 14/10/2019 20:12

Not normal behaviour for a 5 year old. You need to find out what measures are going to be put in place to protect other children and point out the other child needs referring to CAHMS.

EmmiJay · 14/10/2019 20:16

@RachelAllen How do you know how I reacted? Are you the mother I spoke to by any chance? I showed the parents my daughters knee, and the note the teacher gave me and she was horrified. The father even came in the next day at drop off and apologised. They were embarrassed and obviously had words with their boy who now doesn't touch my daughter. So job done.

MoonlightBonnet · 14/10/2019 20:16

It’s not normal as in ‘every child does it’ or ‘the average child does it’. It’s normal in that it’s within the spectrum of extremes of behaviour demonstrated by four year olds who then go on to develop normally, not turn into mini Hannibal Lecters. It’s also ‘normal’ in the context of what you might expect to happen occasionally amongst a group of reception children where many special needs will not have been picked up yet.

HeadintheiClouds · 14/10/2019 20:20

Gouging lumps out of another child’s face is not remotely normal behaviour Shock. Genuinely surprised at how many are shrugging and saying “he’s only 4/5”, “ he’s only been at school a couple of weeks”, etc.
So what?

I would definitely want to know that the child is being watched closely from now on, if he has the capacity to fight like a bloody animal.

Tvstar · 14/10/2019 20:23

Why do you keep saying the purpetrator is 5? At only 5or 6weeks into the school year the odds are about 5:1 that he's a 4 year old.
I would be asking what happened immediately beforehand to initiate this sustained attack

ChevalierTialys · 14/10/2019 20:29

point out the other child needs referring to CAHMS

After one incident Grin you would be laughed out of the place. CAMHS only accept very serious cases. Children frequently threatening themselves and others. They won't deal with a (potentially) 4 year old who's had one incident.

Dieu · 14/10/2019 20:34

Och, your poor boy.
I'm wondering if the child who did it has additional needs? I do some work with an autistic child, who went through a violent phase (at the same age), and could well have done something like this.
It is relevant, as intervention could be required.

Drabarni · 14/10/2019 20:41

point out the other child needs referring to CAMHS

One: The OP is not a professional child care worker responsible for suggesting a referral
Two: As if they would be interested or have the time and resources

hopityhopity · 14/10/2019 20:47

Did you see the pictures of her poor child's face? It wasn't a push or a scratch, it was an extremely violent gauge that I wouldn't expect from a 1 year old not alone a 4/5 year old. It's not even close to normal behaviour and the sooner the child receives help the safer everyone else is. If CAHMS refuse him then they are letting down this child.