DH just asked me not to fart in front of him

[Nobhobs]

I don't make a point of doing it, but every now and then it happens. It's natural and can't always be helped? He on the other hand forces out massive loud farts, makes eye contact and faces whilst he does it. I usually roll my eyes and laugh/shake my head but all in good humour. Just sat on the sofa and I let out a small one (not loud, forced or smelly) and he sighed and said "seriously can you please not fart in front of me"

I'm a bit lost for words. I'm actually a bit upset with him. He's my bloody husband and now I need to feel insecure about farting? We're completely comfortable around each other, I've just had our bloody baby he's seen far worse than a little fart. He thinks IBU for getting upset about it and thinks it's a fair request. I think he's being an arsehole.

What about a fanny fart? You can’t stop those buggers!

Actual lol, no, you can't stop those. Mid deed if one of those happens we just both get the giggles

No one over the age of 12 in my family or extended family farts in front of anyone. You all sound weird and a bit disgusting.

What, even those of us who DON'T reference faecal matter in our very usernames....?

Especialy as it's since you had your son, it's mean for him to have a go at any 'side effects.'

I recommend Adnams Broadside for eye-watering noxious grunts. I am talking room emptying efforts...

I let rip whenever I want and sometimes accompany it with a stamp and stepping on a frog comment. A cocked leg too for a lengthy offering.

Let the music of the body is a chance for celebration.

Your DP needs to loosen the fuck up.

I don't fart in front of anyone. It's just unpleasant, my husband doesn't in front of me either (well not intentionally) it's disgusting. He's not being unreasonable

Well, James Joyce was a dirty little Merry Andrew, wasn't he?

There was a famous quote attributed to Nora where she asked him why he couldn't write literature that people actually wanted to read.

Turns out he could, but the school library orders for THAT line of his writing were presumably a little thin on the ground....

Do a big shit on his pillow.

I don't fart in front of anyone. It's just unpleasant, my husband doesn't in front of me either (well not intentionally) it's disgusting. He's not being unreasonable

By 'He', I assume you're referring to YOUR husband rather than the OP's, as he has no qualms about it being done in front of others when he's the parpetrator.

I'm genuinely baffled by people who claim that they NEVER do it in front of their partners. Not just 'do their best not to' but 'NEVER'. Do your guts not work like every other humans, or do you have to immediately hop into the car every time you feel a rumbling and a stirring, keep a hermetically tight grip on that sphincter and then drive across the nearest county line before safely putting it to pasture?

WeBuiltThisBuffet

I was quite illiterate as a child and young person. My dh went to a grammar school, I just showed him and said I'm so glad I didn't have the same opportunities
I'd heard of it before but thought I'd remembered it as Ernest Hemingway, my apologies to his family

Wait until he's asleep a Dutch oven him!

I’m of the opinion that nobody should fart in front of anyone else, but what a hypocrite! Tell him you’ll stop when he does.

I'm genuinely baffled by people who claim that they NEVER do it in front of their partners

I’ve been with my husband for the best part of 30 years and have never once farted in front of him. No super human effort involved, I am just not a windy person. I can’t say he affords me the same courtesy.

Quite apart from the hypocrisy/misogyny, I would be very cross if my dp acted like my body and it's natural functions are something I should be ashamed of.

I'm amazed there are long term partners who haven't had the occasional one slip out in front of each other before. I think this is pretty normal. It's in the same category as dp putting my period pants in the wash or cleaning a toilet we have both used, not lovely but a normal part of being a human.

Tell the cheeky sod to shove a cork up his own bum hole first and then maybe you'll consider it.

My farts were glorious when I was taking loperamide. Proper trouser rippers.

For your particular situation, may I recommend Confartti? Swallow a capsule and let nature take its course (wear billowy skirt and no pants). There’s a brand new glitter version. So when you trump, it’ll be a proper celebration. Mr Grumpypants will love it.

I fucking LOVE some of these replies! Cackled a fair few times

Those of you saying you and your families never fart in front of... you do realise that everybody else has mastered the art of doing silent discreet trouser warmers that you're not even aware of...?

@Motherinlawsdung

No one over the age of 12 in my family or extended family farts in front of anyone.

Do you all get a cork for your 13th birthday?

My XH had this attitude. Sometimes if he was being particularly superior I'd drop a revenge fart to make a point.

Please don't let this idiocy affect you. To counteract the embarrassment you now feel, I recommend making of farting every time he enters a room if you can, and comment forcefully every time he farts.

I know no one's mentioned it yet, but given that you were recently pregnant and this is a common time for it, I want to ask:

Are you 100% sure there's no OW?

The only men I've seen go from comfortable with the body functions of their wives to disgusted by them have found a new woman they can idealize, who doesn't fart around them (or whatever else) and seems new and mysterious.

I feel evenings out coming on, after all, while you are struggling to find it what it is in your diet causing all that wind, much better to go to the pub for the evening than offend him.

I don’t fart in front of partners/people in general, so I would prefer if they didn’t as well.

If I did find it acceptable to fart in front of other people, I wouldn’t complain if other people did it, unless they were like one of my ex team mates, his farts smelled so bad they have caused people to vom.

It's the double standard that's most awful. You're expected to hold them in and politely waddle off to fart but he can do what he likes? Nope. The only time I've ever pulled DH up for farting was when he let one rip in primark. I was absolutely mortified and he giggled like a teenager. I walked out and let him get the bus home. However at home with no visitors round we don't believe there is any need to leave the room but that goes for both of us!

He is being an arsehole, and arseholes emit farts.

Don't be embarrassed. Tell him to bugger off. If he can enjoy a bloody good fart then so can you.

When I was growing up farts were a bit of a competition for who could do the longest and loudest. DH came from a background though where you virtually never admitted that you had an arse, never mind farted.

I've trained him and now we aren't at all bothered about farting around each other.

Farts are brilliant.