DH just asked me not to fart in front of him

[Nobhobs]

I don't make a point of doing it, but every now and then it happens. It's natural and can't always be helped? He on the other hand forces out massive loud farts, makes eye contact and faces whilst he does it. I usually roll my eyes and laugh/shake my head but all in good humour. Just sat on the sofa and I let out a small one (not loud, forced or smelly) and he sighed and said "seriously can you please not fart in front of me"

I'm a bit lost for words. I'm actually a bit upset with him. He's my bloody husband and now I need to feel insecure about farting? We're completely comfortable around each other, I've just had our bloody baby he's seen far worse than a little fart. He thinks IBU for getting upset about it and thinks it's a fair request. I think he's being an arsehole.

It's a normal bodily function. He needs to get a grip of his anus

I can recommend beans and cheese for the revenge attack. And possibly a fart machine for if you run out.

The double standard is unfair, we all have bodies. When DH uses the loo, we have to avoid it for half an hour or so afterwards. I bought some vipoo which he used a couple of times and now ignores. DH truly believes the following.

Women should not swear
Fart,
wear anything tarty outside the bedroom
get drunk
argue/disagree, especially after a drink, because that is when women are not in full charge of their senses.

Eggs, fucking shit tonnes of brussel sprouts and chilli beans - then dutch oven the mysoginistic, sexist bastard next time you're in bed together

How very dare he make you feel ashamed and awkward in your own home and worse whilst he trumpets like a trooper in front of you - I'm enraged on your behalf at his screwed up double standards!

My DH says he's a twat too for a male perspective if you want one?

@justasking111 fuuuuck he sounds like a barrel of laughs 🙄

My DH also asks me not to as it's not very ladylike 🙄 his stink to high heaven. Have told him when he stops I will. We've been together 12 years, I'm not gonna stop now!

A work colleague told me there was an evil wind when their DP ate dried apricots. I tested their theory and can report its true!!

They do say......

Hang on, he makes sure he engages you before he farts yet you aren’t allowed? Why can he fart but you can’t? What’s that about?

+10 to the bee farter!

I’m shocked people are so open 😂

I’m 41 and dh and I have been married 16 years and I’ve heard him fart twice (not deliberate/ he didn’t realise I was there) and ive never once farted in front of him!

This thread is hilarious.
And your DH is an idiot, OP. Get cracking on the veggies and beans and don't bloody feel awkward in your own house! He clearly doesn't with the song and dance he makes about farting so why on earth should you allow him to make you feel awkward. I'd be trying to squeeze them out in his presence if I were you.

My husband once woke me up by farting very loudly.

Unless you've done that, I don't see what his problem is.

My DH also asks me not to as it's not very ladylike
by the same token breaking wind in front of other's is hardly gentlemanly.
I suppose you could issue a 30 second warning 'if you dont want me to fart in your company then you should leave the room....NOW'
....
< PARP >
I think issuing a warning is a fair compromise?

So are you going to call him out for being a massive stinky hypocrite @Nobhobs or what? Don’t let him get away with this arseholery!

I’d laugh very loudly and say oh, you are so funny! If he asked you what you mean, point out his hipocracy.

Howling at this thread! 😂

Whatever is he going to do when your son has a gigglefest when someone farts. I grew up in a family where farts did not exist, to the point where every time my mother farted I had to run away and laugh my arse off somewhere else.
My son and I laugh a lot at natural bodily functions.
It's his problem not yours.
Embrace the wind and fly free.

I have ibs and fart a lot... it hurts to hold them in!
Dp comments on the stink sometimes but tbf they are pretty vile! And he wouldn't dare ask me not to do it
Your dh is a hypocritical arse.

Hypocrisy **

Do not take it on board. Let him fart at his peril.

When I asked why he said he just doesn't like it.

At which point you said “I don’t like it when you fart so same rules apply” right? If you didn’t say that, why not?

He's an arsehole.

He’d love our house
Just before I’m due I get really bad wind-and it stinks
Not a lot I can do as it’s bloody painful too
Thankfully my fella just laughs and brings me hot water bottles
We think farting is funny-the louder the better
The word ‘guff’ makes us howl

I'm shocked people are so comfortable farting in front of one another. My dh and I have been together 11 years and I would never consciously fart in front of him, and he wouldn't in front of me! Apparently I have pumped in my sleep once or twice ... He found it hilarious. If he farted in front of me, I'd pull him up on it straight away.

Mason jars and processed peas. I love it!!!
Jokes aside OP you seem really upset about this and I feel for you. Please do not allow him to demoralise you over this. Show him these posts he will realise he is so unreasonable.
DP asked why I was chuckling which was not at your issue but some of the responses. His response was what a prick.