AIBU to have been sarky to DP about doritos

[gwackywacky]

NC because his mums on here.
I decided to make us nachos which I then regretted because messing around with making chili, guacamole, salsa, grating cheese etc was really pissing me off when I just wanted to chill today actually.

So Im at final stage laying it all out and melting the cheese on top when dp comes behind me and rubs his hands down my sides (ugh) and then steals a posh dorito (UGH) and says 'these any good then?'. I didnt reply and he said 'oh yeah, they ARE good!' and i said 'im so relieved they meet his majestys standards'.

Then we had an argument, he accused me of being sarky, and I said I was pissed off at having to cook on a sunday actually. Btw, if I didnt cook his solution would probably be a bowl of cereal (slow clap).

I couldn’t be with a grown man who plays PlayStation games stop moaning about cooking when you’ve got a kid on a PlayStation in your living room making you feel like his slave. And don’t moan about it if you’re not going to ask him to cook on certain days, or you can just not cook he’s apparently an adult, who could fend for himself if required. Doritos are quite nasty and I wouldn’t eat them in nachos the rest sounds lovely if it’s all home made but I feel you’ve wasted it on him. And by using Doritos

@gwackywacky he often did.
He also worked longer hours than her.
No excuse for temper tantrums from a woman in her late 20s.
It s just cooking.

@Queenoftheashes "If I’m doing something in the kitchen he needs to stay out of my way." Amen sister!!! You are my role model.

Briefly considered changing again CondemnedToCrispsInABowl but I'm sticking with this for now...

It sounds like you,re pissed off because you want to relax for once but instead you are making complicated sauces.
And if you didn't he couldn't be bothered to cook anything.
And being pawed while you are doing it is the last straw.
YANBU because this kind of continuous crap can wear you down and destroy a relationship.
My son and DIL decided to go to counselling to sort this kind of shit out as they were close to splitting up. They've sorted it out and haven't had an argum enter for 8 years because they have agreed who does what and so there is no more resentment.
Resentment kills a relationship.

Men dont like hints or passive aggressive martyrdom.

Oh ffs! Some people don't like hints or passive aggression. I am one of them and I'm not a bloke! Be straight forward or don't fecking blame me. Not a mind reader, mind you!

Let's just stop with this "men do.." and "women don't.." shit...not a gender thing to like or not like something! Think I'm off to squeeze a fairly hard avocado!

Posh Doritos
Fairly hard avocado
Proper wood
Slightly stale coco pops

OP so many specific descriptions, it's like madlibs in here I love it!

I was going to say this thread is driving me mad

But I don't even avocado..

I'm done.
I love this thread lol

"I take your point but why should I be condemned to crisps in a bowl? Why doesn't he just make nachos?"

It says in your OP you DECIDED to make them which might have something to do with it?

Fuck my days, you’re hard work & grumpy!

I assume you’ve got all afternoon/evening to do as you please now while he’s at work?! Throwing nachos together is hardly a gourmet tasting menu (and I hate cooking!). He tried the nacho chips to see what they were like, it’s not like he was helping himself to a whole roast chicken. He was playing a game, did you expect him to drop the controller and jump to attention.

He touched you while you were cooking, have you ever told him this bothers you & why?

You need to chill the fuck out or break up with him.

@gwackywacky, slightly more than that, but not by much, as they're filled with a blue cheese and mozzarella mix, there are assorted roasted thingies (home made wedges, onion rings, Mediterranean veg, etc), corn cobs and chilli butter, etc. It's more work than opening a packet and chucking them into a pan/opening a bag of oven chips. Still not much effort - 10 mins chopping things and making them, compared to 3 mins 30 secs stabbing a film lid and shoving in a microwave. I put them on a par with making nachos or spag bol/chilli, as they're so quick and easy.

Maybe it's because I spent years cooking from scratch when I didn't work that they don't feel like a huge effort? I know DP thinks anything more than a tube of Pringles and some Haribo is some sort of modern day indentured labour for the oppressive slavemaster that is Needing to Eat.

Why not cook for yourself and leave him to his manky Coco Pops? Or go to a restaurant without him?

You sound like a delight I feel sorry for your husband

@IncrediblySadToo
"He was playing a game, did you expect him to drop the controller and jump to attention"

What planet do you live on? I'd love to visit some time? Yes yes I bloody well do expect someone to jump to attention and stopvpissing around on a playstation when you have been cooked a meal that took up someone's time and energy to make? I could have just had a fucking bath instead! Sorry if asking someone to complete the draining action of PRESSING PAUSE on a PS controller to come and be spoon fed their nachos is some kind of big deal

"when you have been cooked a meal that took up someone's time and energy to make?"

That you decided to make*

YABU for describing making up some crisps and a dip as "cooking a meal".

I've poured a tequila

I'm with AuntieMarys.

Men dont like hints or passive aggressive martyrdom.

bloody, most sane people don't like hints or passive martyrdom. It's just too much like hard work, just say what you mean, I'm too busy for games and I'm not 15.

Are you serving to-martyr sauce with it?

You decided to cook it from scratch though, otherwise it would have been a 10 minute meal, including the 9 minutes to heat the oven and melt the cheese

@iklboo

Are you serving to-martyr sauce with it?

You're my favourite

You are a bit bonkers OP, and probably due on.

OP I'm all for expecting a partner to tacitly anticipate reasonable boundaries within a relationship based on past experience and knowledge of a person but "don't touch me while I'm mashing a fairly hard avocado" is fairly niche, isn't it? How is the guy to know this is unacceptable behaviour? And what state of hardness/softness would the avocado need to be in before it was ok to touch you?

In my house, I do all the cooking. If I'm really really ill, my hubby will just about manage reheating a dinner from the freezer (I batch cook) or cooking a frozen pizza. With clear instructions from me. I don't honestly see it as a big deal, I guess. Perhaps the difference is that he appreciates my cooking.
I also love it when he shows me affection when I'm cooking. Would you rather he had completely ignored you then?
I can't believe there are 8 pages of posts about such a non-issue. Before MN, do you think people exploded a lot because they weren't able to moan to complete strangers about every tiny thing in their lives? Lol

Nachos is not cooking. Ge5 over yourself. This is one of those situations where it’s just another day another manufactured-out-of-nothing drama for the unfortunate ‘cooked’ for person, in this case your DH. I married and divorced someone like you OP, whatever he did he was such a fucking martyr about it, never mind a song and dance, he could make a fucking Hollywood musical out of putting the kettle on ffs. God forbid he have to make a sandwich or open a tin of soup, there’d be so much sighing, huffing and puffing, expecting praise and gratitude and then the the getting snarky when appreciation wasn’t forthcoming thick and fast enough. It was exhausting.

I decided to make us nachos which I then regretted because messing around with making chili, guacamole, salsa, grating cheese etc was really pissing me off when I just wanted to chill today actually.

You decided to make the nachos. You did it even though you wanted to chill today so YABU, yes. Nobody forced you to act the martyr.