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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Brother assaulted me - WWYD?

55 replies

conny7 · 11/10/2019 22:17

Something terrible happened earlier.

Me and my brother were rowing and he violently attacked me in front of my 6 month old. Luckily, there were 2 other people in the room to drag him off me.

I'm confused and shocked at how he has reacted.

Aibu to ask wwyd?

OP posts:
SuchAToDo · 11/10/2019 22:23

Call the police now, don't protect him, if he can do that to you, he can do worse next time...and if he can do that in front of your child then what is to say that next time he won't attack your child too

Call the police now, let them log it and take photos/DNA of any injuries etc ...you are the victim, you aren't doing anything wrong by reporting it...he is in the wrong

Original poster
conny7 · 11/10/2019 22:23

@SuchAToDo I have considered ringing the police but to be honest I am terrified of what he would do.

OP posts:
TooManyPaws · 11/10/2019 22:24

What is he like normally? What was the row about?

My first reaction would be to call the police as that's a vicious assault if it took two people to drag him off you and traumatising for both you and your child seeing and hearing their mother attacked. Are you injured?

ChickenGoujonDestroyer · 11/10/2019 22:25

OP what he would do is be arrested and charged with witnesses and be in prison away from you. What are you waiting for?

TooManyPaws · 11/10/2019 22:26

Cross-posted, OP.

All the more reason to call the police so that they can protect you. Has he done this before?

Babymamamama · 11/10/2019 22:26

If you’re terrified of what he can do that all the more reason to call the police. If he’s out of control he needs to be stopped. Honestly I would get a restraining order and he would never come near me or my family again.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 11/10/2019 22:26

Please call the police. This is an assault.

ClemDanFango · 11/10/2019 22:27

I would have my brother charged. He’d have shown no qualms about physically assaulting me so why should I show any about having him arrested and charged?
Fuck what anyone in the family thinks or says I’d be straight on the police and wouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt or regret.
I hope you’re ok Flowers

TeachesOPeaches · 11/10/2019 22:27

Luckily, there were 2 other people in the room to drag him off me.

And if there weren’t?

Are you safe now OP?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 11/10/2019 22:28

Your relationship with your brother has been destroyed by his actions. You aren’t to blame. Call the police, you would if a stranger attacked you.

Merryoldgoat · 11/10/2019 22:29

Call the police.

What happened? Does he have form for being a violent thug? Is he mentally ill or unstable in some way? Was he drunk?

Are you injured?

I hope you’re ok and I’m sorry you’ve experienced such a thing.

KennDodd · 11/10/2019 22:29

Sorry, no advice other than the above.

Is your brother older than you? Is this a pattern following from childhood? I have read that older siblings who hit/bully younger siblings often don't grow out of this and the violence continues into adulthood.

BumbleBeee69 · 11/10/2019 22:33

I have considered ringing the police but to be honest I am terrified of what he would do.

All the more reason to call them.

LordNibbler · 11/10/2019 22:35

Good God, what would he have done to you if there hadn't been people there to pull him off? You have a baby, you need to call the police right now.

TheScruffyDog · 11/10/2019 22:36

Phone the police.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

Pixilicious · 11/10/2019 22:40

Call the police. You owe him nothing. He could jeopardise your baby.

Elieza · 11/10/2019 22:47

Sorry to hear what happened to you OP. Sounds like your brother can’t control his actions. And it seems like you are frightened of him so this isnt the first time you have seen him like that.
You were lucky to have others to protect you.

This time.

What about a woman he meets and goes mental at that doesn’t have anyone there to save her? Will she end up dead and your brother doing life in prison and you saying if only I’d told the police about his lack of control so he could have been made to attend anger management classes (with the threat of jail if he didn’t) and he may not be in this situation for the next 25 years now...

My ex was forced to attend. He’s a changed man. I’ll never take him back but he has so much compassion and awareness now that he never had before. If that’s a veneer it’s stated on well. I really think it helped him a lot.

I know you feel loyal, but how loyal was he to you when he was going for you?

Kahlua4me · 11/10/2019 22:49

I also think you should ring the police and report him. What do you think would have happened if the others hadn’t been there? Would he have stopped?

What would you advise somebody else to do in that situation?

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 11/10/2019 22:49

I'd personally report him to the police. Someone further up made a good point - what would have happened if there weren't two people to drag him off you?

category12 · 11/10/2019 22:52

Can you cut him out of your life? What is the living situation?

RainbowAlicorn · 11/10/2019 22:53

I agree with everyone else, phone the police. If you have any Mark's take photos of them and make sure the are time stamped.

Ontheboardwalk · 11/10/2019 23:06

Police! The other people in the room should have phoned the police as well

justasking111 · 11/10/2019 23:16

Please contact the police.

L0bstersLass · 11/10/2019 23:18

Adding my voice. Please contact the police, now.
There should be nothing more important in your life than protecting your baby. That is what you are doing by phoning the police.
Please find the courage to do this.

Interestedwoman · 11/10/2019 23:20

Call the police- there were people there who can back you up as witnesses.

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