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AIBU?

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Original poster

Brother assaulted me - WWYD?

55 replies

conny7 · 11/10/2019 22:17

Something terrible happened earlier.

Me and my brother were rowing and he violently attacked me in front of my 6 month old. Luckily, there were 2 other people in the room to drag him off me.

I'm confused and shocked at how he has reacted.

Aibu to ask wwyd?

OP posts:
L0bstersLass · 11/10/2019 23:25

Following up on your other post, that you are terrified of what he would do - he would shit himself, because he is a bully.
You do not deserve to be scared.
Call them and be honest.
You need to protect yourself and your baby, not a man who scares you.

DonKeyshot · 11/10/2019 23:26

If you don't report him to the police, you're giving him licence to assault you again at any time of his choosing.

Bite the bullet and call the police. You have a young baby to consider and the police can help you stay safe from your brother.

Justaboy · 11/10/2019 23:28

Took two other people to pull him off you!!.

What would have happened if they werent there for christ sakes call the police and do it now!.

He needs locking up and for a long time!.

VenusTiger · 11/10/2019 23:33

@conny7 I hope you realise that by not reporting him, he’ll not think twice about doing it again when he gets angry. Also, he’ll presume, being your brother, that he’s immune to consequences! I don’t think so! He needs to learn a lesson or you may regret it if he turns his hand on another female some day.

VenusTiger · 11/10/2019 23:37

Also, the police know how to deal with domestic abuse, they’ll realise you’ll be scared of his reactions to being arrested. They’ll know what to do - any PPs know more on this safeguarding?

OP, I hope you and baby are okay Flowers

Longlongsummer · 11/10/2019 23:38

Yes to calling the police. They can advise you what your next steps could be. And it will be logged.

If you don’t, and he then attacks someone else, a GF, when they have kids, because he’s crossed the line before, and there were no consequences, how would you feel?

ExhaustedGrinch · 11/10/2019 23:49

I put up with 16 years of physical assaults from my brother. The last time he hit me was the time I phoned the police and took him to court, I have no regrets only that I wish I (or my mum) had phoned them sooner.

I know it's difficult when you're frightened though Flowers

ExhaustedGrinch · 11/10/2019 23:51

If you don’t, and he then attacks someone else, a GF, when they have kids, because he’s crossed the line before, and there were no consequences, how would you feel?

This is not the OPs responsibility, if he attacks someone else that is entirely on his shoulders and not the OPs!

Butchyrestingface · 11/10/2019 23:54

Were the other two people present your parents or siblings, @conny7?

Are they likely to give witness statements?

fassbendersmistress · 12/10/2019 00:03

I’m really annoyed that the 2 other people present didn’t call the police after pulling him off you. Are they also afraid of him?

I’m so sorry OP, put you and your baby first and report him

KatyCarrCan · 12/10/2019 00:13

Will the two other people support your story or will they cover for your brother?
Tonight, you need to make sure you and your baby are safe. If that means staying with friends, then go and tell them what happened so they know not to let your DB in. You can't be somewhere your DB has access to you.

ThePants999 · 12/10/2019 00:18

Sorry to lighten the tone, but... I spent a minute wondering what the significance was of you being in a boat, until I eventually twigged that's not what you meant by "rowing" 😁

Caledoniahasmyheartforever · 12/10/2019 00:19

You need to call the police! He violently attacked you in front of your tiny baby! What if the two other people had not been there? He could have killed you! You have a responsibility to your baby and yourself, to make sure that this NEVER happens again! The only family that matters now is your baby and your partner, as well as any older dc! You do not owe it to anyone to keep your brothers despicable behaviour a secret! If he can violently assault his own sister, in front of two other people and his own baby niece or nephew then he is capable of murder! You need to protect yourself and your little one! Call the police!

Jux · 12/10/2019 00:23

Please call the police and report him. He is dangerous. Do you still have people with you?

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 12/10/2019 00:28

Call the police now please.

Are you safe now?

If that's what he can do to his own sister with witnesses, imagine what he can do to a girlfriend in privacy Sad

nocoolnamesleft · 12/10/2019 00:42

Police. What if you're holding your baby next time? Or what if there aren't 2 people to drag him off you, and your baby ends up without a mother? Police.

SpinneyHill · 12/10/2019 00:43

OP if the police arrested you, would you do the same thing again?

Outsomnia · 12/10/2019 00:48

Am wondering (very sorry if I am wrong here) that "brother" might be a euphemism for someone else.

If it is I can understand why. LTB being one of them.

It may be easier to shop a sibling because they are not central to one's life, finances, kids and so on. Just a thought late at night.

However, my initial thoughts are that if it is totally out of character, find out why he is so angry. There are two sides. If you feel unsafe get a restraining order PDQ. You have to do this if you are in fear of him. Even if he is issues.

Sorry this has happened to you OP and I hope you will be OK.

Tellmetruth4 · 12/10/2019 00:48

Sorry to hear this has happened. Please call the police. I grew up with a brother who regularly beat me up. My parents tried to play it down as normal sibling fighting. It wasn’t, it was domestic violence. I’m NC with him now. You shouldn’t protect him from the consequences just because he’s family.

Beveren · 12/10/2019 00:51

I have considered ringing the police but to be honest I am terrified of what he would do.

There's nothing he can do once he's been arrested. Please report him.

kateandme · 12/10/2019 01:37

is their a backstory to this.are you afraid of him usually.is this his usual beahviour or out of character.NO EXCUSES NO EXCUSES NO EXCUSES.Im just trying to see if there is anything else to support you with in regards to what happens next and how to keep you safe.

Butterflycookie · 12/10/2019 01:55

Is this normal behaviour? Could it be mental health problems?

BitOfFun · 12/10/2019 02:10

Does it make a difference?

Rainbowknickers · 12/10/2019 08:51

My narc mother once did this to me
Golden child brother said something nasty about me being a single mum
(something along the lines of how he ‘couldn’t mop up another mans mess when it came to raising kids-that’s what rainbow gets her endless boyfriends to do’ I had been single for years at this point)
I snapped and told him to go fuck himself and walked off
Next thing I know my mother launched herself at me,punching me in the face so hard she cracked my cheekbone and a tooth
I can still hear my kids screaming at nanna to stop hurting mum
My biggest regret in life is not phoning the police and pressing charges-my family painted it out as not that much of a big deal and I deserved it-and I believed them

Please phone them-he needs to learn he can’t go round lamping anyone-he won’t stop at just you-you are worth more than this being brushed under the carpet

He needs to know that actions have consequences

KennDodd · 12/10/2019 10:40

@ExhaustedGrinch

I also grew up with constant violence from an older (male) sibling, I don't think it's uncommon at all. It's a pattern learnt in childhood that people never grow out of parents don't take it seriously, just normal sibling behaviour. I left home very young and my brother died, I have little doubt the slaps would have continued into adulthood if he hadn't though.

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