To be completely fed up of getting the bus

[Richtea15]

I’m 24, and getting incredibly frustrated with being a non-driver.

Up until about age 23, I felt too young, nervous and naive to learn to drive. Annoyingly, I probably could’ve afforded lessons then, whereas I can’t now. Let alone afford a car, insuring one, etc.

I dislike buses in general. But it drives me mad that I finish work at 3:30pm everyday, but have to wait around until 4:15pm for a bus (that is more often than not, late). I just want to GOOO. I just wish I could get into my own car, like a grown adult woman, and go. It makes me feel dependant and childish to not be able to drive.

If I’m not at work, I rarely go anywhere without my partner (who does drive). I just simply can’t be arsed planning my day around getting a bus to and fro. I can’t do the weekly shop, for example, as I would have too many heavy bags to lug onto a bus. That’s if there’s even a direct one to a supermarket - because I will NOT waste my time getting more than one bus! 😤

Sorry, this is turning into an excessive rant. Any one else who didn’t learn to drive until late twenties or even thirties? I could use your words of wisdom to keep me sane. I have a rant to poor DP just about every week!

I learnt to drive when I was 37! Wish I'd done it sooner tbh.

I'm learning to drive at 50. I fully embraced public transport and enjoyed the relaxing nature of it. I spent time waiting fir buses doing chores online etc. Depends on where you live.

@Helpmedecide123

I’m frequently told the younger you learn, the better. Not what I need to hear - if you could do it at 37, I’m sure I could too and the world wouldn’t end! 😁

I'm still getting the bus to work at 44 so no sympathy from me I'm afraid.

Currently living in Switzerland, the public transport is amongst the best in the world, but even then it is about 3 times slower than just driving.

People who say public transport just needs more investment are deluded.

Can't you get your partner to give you some lessons? Even if it was just so you can use the paid lessons to focus on the test.

Also you could at least do the theory part fairly cheaply.

I just passed my test last year at 32 years old.
I was desperate to learn by that point after moving to a semi rural area 2 years prior.. I knuckled down and passed both tests first time, took me 3 months in total.

@femidom12

Hmmm, you got me.

Can I ask, do you work somewhere in which many of your colleagues use public transport? I keep saying to DP that I might feel differently if I worked in the city where the large majority of people commute. I feel isolated because I’m one of very few non-drivers where I work. And those who don’t live close enough to walk.

My DP is just learning to drive he is 39. He decided to go for an automatic as it was easier.

I did mine at 28 while pregnant. In fact I passed my test a few weeks before i gave birth having failed a few months before that. You can do it. Have faith

I'm with you. Buses are a pain in the arse!!! You don't need to be "young" (which, btw you still are) to learn to drive

I’m frequently told the younger you learn, the better. Not what I need to hear

Not really sure what you’re wanting to hear?? You live in a place where public transport isn’t particularly efficient and you made the decision to not learn how to drive and now you’re in a bit of a pickle. I agree it’s a shit situation - but I don’t really understand ranting about a situation you have created and it sounds like you’re very lucky to at least have a partner to chauffeur you around from time to time. Yes people often learn later, but as pp said most probably wish they had done so sooner or previously lived somewhere with good public transport. So I don’t think there’s much anyone can say to make you feel better - you’ll just have to learn to love the bus more (maybe a gripping audio book to make waiting for the bus/sitting on the bus more exciting??)

I’m 27 and passed four months ago. I tried manual lessons twice and I struggled (I have arthritis) so in the end went for automatic. It was so much easier, less to worry about! I also saved up and did two hour lessons twice a week - so four hours of driving a week as once a week wasn’t enough for me. I passed in 3 months. I failed my first driving test, but that was because I went on a roundabout when it wasn’t safe (nerves got to me) and the instructor had to brake - which is an automatic fail as it was dangerous. 😂😂😂 I re-took it two weeks later and passed.

OP could you cycle to work?

Can you get insured on your Dh's car and drive that? Find somewhere quiet to start off? My driving instructor used a business park as the roads were quiet on a weekend. Just did stop, start, stop, start until I got used to the clutch.

I learned in my early 20s after sitting on a bus that got more crowded probably because it was raining and a man who hadn't washed in a very long time sat next to me. I was dry heaving and decided that was it.

I was late 20s when I passed and it was honestly the best thing I have ever done.
I had my 2 dc who were babies then so it was a right mare getting the bus with a toddler and baby .
Saying that you have other stresses with being a driver . Other drivers , costs etc .

I'm 50 and still can't drive! But I do live in London so it makes no real difference here. Everywhere I have worked has no parking anyway so all my colleagues have had to commute too. Can your partner give you a few lessons to cut down on costs?

I didn’t learn until I was 31, but have always lived in cities with great public transport so I was never in a similar position to you where I felt stuck!

As soon as I moved out of London I learnt to drive. I was 32 and hated hanging around for the bus and navigating dark country lanes on foot tobthe village.

Can your husband teach you? At least you would then be in a position to drive when you can afford a car. Could you get a moped?

The longer you put off learning to drive the more you're going to build it up in your head.

I drive and love the independance. Im 33. The only time I didnt drive was when I lived in London because the public transport links were so good.

The wore thin though when I was on the bus going to work and a woman sneezed on the back of my head. Grim.

Take a week off. Book 20 ish lessons and take your test on the Friday... that's what I did at 30. Passed first time....

Where I live, driving lessons start at 14 so you are far from too young.
It’s really not that hard. Learn on an automatic. You can always go back and learn to drive manual later.

Thanks for the suggestions about DP giving me "lessons". Once I've got a provisional, I can legally drive with an experienced driver with me, right? Then does it not matter how many "official" lessons I have before I take my test?

@capturedfairy I very much sympathise with you, re the crowded, smelly buses. I get to work feeling soo unglamorous after the commute. (not envy!)

I failed a couple of tests in my teens, then went to university and couldn't have afforded to run a car - when I was at university no student had a car, everyone took buses or walked, the idea of parents funding cars was unheard of. Then I moved abroad to a location where car ownership was unnecessary and expensive, and later to London (same) - I had no incentive to learn to drive or get a car.

In my mid twenties I moved from central London to suburbia due to a change in job and getting a house with (now) DH - public transport became a pain. DH had a motorbike and one day he picked me up from work and the commute was 1/3 the time of my bus plus train commute. I immediately did my cbt and got a 125cc scooter - commute just as quick, loved it. Fairly shortly after that I did a 5 day intensive motorcycle course and one two hour refresher car lesson and passed my motorcycle test and my car test on consecutive days and passed both!

I was 25 when I passed and it was much easier than at 17 - I learned to operate a car at 17 but that's the easy part a chimpanzee can learn - road awareness clicked on the CBT because it has to, being that exposed on a scooter works wonders.

Do your CBT and get a big scooter with a far luggage system if you can't afford your car lessons and to run a car. It's also good preparation for your car lessons later.

I know there's so many suggestions about doing a load of lessons at once, getting it over and done with. The trouble is, I can't afford it right now. I have few hours at work, as I'm studying at the same time. So virtually no extra income at all.

I know I should've learned sooner. I know you can start learning in your teens. I wasn't ready, nor did I have an interest in learning to drive until I was into my 20s. If only I had a crystal ball that could see future me, waiting miserably for a bus everyday. Then perhaps 18-year-old me would've got her act together.

My DH was in his early 30s when he passed his test.