To be completely fed up of getting the bus

[Richtea15]

I’m 24, and getting incredibly frustrated with being a non-driver.

Up until about age 23, I felt too young, nervous and naive to learn to drive. Annoyingly, I probably could’ve afforded lessons then, whereas I can’t now. Let alone afford a car, insuring one, etc.

I dislike buses in general. But it drives me mad that I finish work at 3:30pm everyday, but have to wait around until 4:15pm for a bus (that is more often than not, late). I just want to GOOO. I just wish I could get into my own car, like a grown adult woman, and go. It makes me feel dependant and childish to not be able to drive.

If I’m not at work, I rarely go anywhere without my partner (who does drive). I just simply can’t be arsed planning my day around getting a bus to and fro. I can’t do the weekly shop, for example, as I would have too many heavy bags to lug onto a bus. That’s if there’s even a direct one to a supermarket - because I will NOT waste my time getting more than one bus! 😤

Sorry, this is turning into an excessive rant. Any one else who didn’t learn to drive until late twenties or even thirties? I could use your words of wisdom to keep me sane. I have a rant to poor DP just about every week!

@formerbabe

Yeah, that's exactly how I feel. Hence why I'm desperate to learn to drive.

@idril

Work is about 5 miles away, supermarket is about 3 miles. There are smaller supermarkets more local to me, but the main one DP and I go to is 3 miles away, with no bus route x

@llamakoala

Thanks for your advice. :)

It really does hold you back - something I think some drivers don't understand or appreciate. I think some people don't get how "just getting the bus" isn't as easy as it sounds. You can never leave the house/work when you're ready to go. My bus runs hourly, which means I arrive at work 45 minutes early. The one after, and I'd be late. So, so annoying.

Passed my test at 17, but didn't enjoy driving. Then went to uni and straight into relationship with non-driver, so we just walked or used public transport. Worked in London so much less stress to travel by train and tube. Then moved on to current DH, who had a car, so tried again. Didn't enjoy it, and he said "why don't we get an automatic", so that's what we did. Made so much difference!

I didn't learn and pass my test until I was 30. It's transformed my life (and my earning power!).

I did it with the power of MN I was part of a 'learning to drive' thread full of people like me who were shit scared.

Definitely do it.

I passed my test in my late 20s and have had crippling anxiety over driving. So much so I didn't drive for three years and have had to get refresher lessons to get myself back behind the wheel. I'm still working up to "fast" and longer drives but the amount of freedom it's already given me is incredible and I don't feel so trapped. Honestly, you're still young. Get it done and get as much time behind the wheel to do it.

I planning to learn on maternity leave next year - I managed to get myself everywhere with 1DC on trains/buses - but with 2 I think I should buckle down and learn to drive, especially if DS1 doesn't get his 1st choice primary. I'll be 32.

I passed my test at 17 and drove until Uni. Was a buswanker when I lived in London. I feel your pain

I'm 31 and I can't drive, I really hate it. I feel so infantile like you say. I don't feel like a proper adult at all.

I learned to drive at 18, but didn't get a car till I was 24 due to moving to a rural location. I used to bike everywhere and used public transport for rainy days.
I have 2 Work colleagues that bike 30+ min to work. Not having a car is possible, but it heavily depends on your location.

I think the problem is your bus service! I learnt to drive at 17 but rarely drive now as I have a yearly bus pass and I love it! No wondering about where to park, hop on and off even for short distances. I love buses.

I feel your pain. We're only 5 miles from a city, but the bus service is hourly, and are badly timed as you either arrive at the city bus station at 8.05 or 9.05, so workers and school kids starting around 9 have to get the earlier bus, which itself takes a ridiculous 30 minutes to get 5 miles, so need to be at the bus stop by 7.30. And because it's only hourly, it's already full and standing when it gets to us, so you can't even get a seat.

5 miles is a good cycle distance if the route is reasonably safe.

I learnt to drive when I was 21, have now been driving for three years and it's honestly the best thing I ever did!

When I relied on public transport, I was in a job where I worked 10hrs a day and started work around 7:30. I had to get two buses to my work and I would have to be up at 5am to get ready and be there on time. I think I spent around 3hrs per day just on the commute. It was a nightmare and I was so tired all the time.

I was lucky enough to be able to buy my own car (it was only £1000 and I lived at home at the time so had more disposable
income). It was great as my step dad would take me out in the evenings to practice. I would also have my driving lessons with my instructor as well. Is there any way you could buy a cheap car and ask your partner to come out with you to practice? Driving lessons are quite expensive and obviously only having maybe 2-3hrs a week in a car isn't enough.

I agree, buying a car, insuring it is so expensive however the freedom that comes with it makes it worth every penny!

Good luck if you decide to learn

I passed my test late, at 36, and I didn't really drive after that. Now nearly 44 🙈
I am really anxious about driving and tend to get flustered when I have to do several things at once. I am going to take some refresher lessons soon anyway and see if I get on better with an automatic, but as I don't really need to drive I keep putting it off.

I didn't always drive and used public transport too. I passed my test in my thirties. Its cheaper to get your groceries delivered. I pay £8 per month to Morrison's for delivery anytime. This only works out to be £2 per week. I now have a car and it's an absolute God send, when it's raining doing the school run. Get learning!

@Richtea15

I assume your bus only goes once an hour then?

Can you not change work hours, and finish at 3pm (and get the 3.15pm bus?)

Driving is a useful skill, and where I live, there's no WAY I would rely on buses. Takes an hour and a quarter (on the bus) to do a journey that takes 10 minutes by car. It's expensive too.

I learnt at 33.
I was so scared of driving before...but a family member died and DH couldn't get time off work.
Everyone made excuses to not drive me to the funeral (fair enough) so I got the 2 buses and was met with "well you may as well get a lift with us to the wake"
I was so angry when most had driven past my house to get to the funeral but when asked they "didn't have room" in the car yet suddenly in front of everyone else they were suddenly "saving" me from another bus ride. So I went home after and applied for my provisional. I passed my test 5 months later.

Best thing ever...

You can do it X x

I absolutely hate driving, hate it. It drains me more than a shift at work. Traffic is so bad around here, it can take me 45 minutes to get home from work - just checked distance on gmaps and its 3.7 miles. A few times it has taken me over an hour (no road works or accidents, just shit traffic light sequences, a few lorries, and buses evidently running late so there's 3 of the same service behind one another)

I used to love it, and used to just go for a drive for the sake of it, but the roads are just so shit in the last few years where I live, it's become a right chore. Relatives who have visited from NE have said how crap it is to drive here too.

And honestly, almost everyday there's a major accident reported on motorways etc, lorry overturned, car pile ups, on the way in and out of my city that I dread having to go any further.

BUT frustratingly, that 3.7mile journey to work would probably take twice as long on public transport, by time time I've taken 2 buses and walked, so it's the lesser of 2 evils!

Sorry this was just a rant and won't help you but just wanted to let you know it can be shit behind the wheel too

I can't ever drive due to a visual impairment and I hate it. It's held my career back and even worse it's an hours round trip to the local shop which is 5 mins drive. No popping to the shop of an evening to buy cookies.
Learn to drive an automatic and grab life by the wheel op.

Could you walk some of the way and then get on the same bus when it arrives at a later stop? That way you wouldn't just be waiting around and get some exercise in the meantime. I used to do it all the time in London but I appreciate other cities aware less pedestrian friendly.

I used to sometimes walk home about 5 miles in the summer along the canals (not London). Took some walking gear in a bag to work and march home.

I passed my test two years ago at 28 and it's been a life-changer. I moved somewhere rural after my last relationship broke down and had no choice but to learn due to the total lack of public transport.

It took me about six months of weekly lessons to get to test standard, and my now-DH took me out in his car in-between. I passed both my theory and practical tests first time. I was terrified at first but it's fine now - it just comes naturally. I have so much more freedom and can do whatever I want, whenever I want :)

5 miles is a good cycle distance if the route is reasonably safe.

Unfortunately not - it's a main A road, unlit, with lots of bends etc, mostly a 60mph speed limit without even pavements in places and certainly no cycle lanes.

For a "better" journey on lit, 30mph roads through housing etc., it's more like a 10 mile journey which is what the buses do, hence why it takes them so long.

I have a licence but haven't driven for a long time for medical reasons and unless I manage to get a diagnosis and the correct treatment am unlikely to ever drive again.

I've embraced my commute to work now. I've adjusted my working hours to suit the buses. My morning trip is around 50 mins door to desk and it's peaceful and comfortable as it's a quiet time. I use it to wake up, browse the internet, listen to music, shop/do chores online. It's my time. The trip home takes around 1 hour 20 and is a bit more stressful but I still can use the time to either decompress or get things done before getting home to the DC.

I do sometimes wish I could drive but there are already far too many cars on the road and really I'd prefer to see public transport drastically improved and less need for people to drive

I passed my test at 28 and it has changed my life so much! I've been able to move house to somewhere semi rural which is better for raising my kids, I have done an Access course and uni (neither would be possible around childcare from where I now live without a car).
I can participate in so much more. Without a car, it's hard to get more than one thing done in a day, particularly if you have to get 2 buses.
I love having a car. Find a way OP, you won't regret it.