Several years ago I decided to give up the mental load. I've had limited success, particularly with regards to stuff for the kids as to genuinely give it up for them would mean them missing out on stuff.
DH was aware of this and in agreement, he felt I did too much mental load stuff and needed to give it up a bit. He also felt it would mean he got opportunity to do a bit more. He has not taken on any of the mental load however. It's who he is, so birthdays get missed, he's late for stuff, life is lived day to day with limited forward planning, his choice, he's alway been this way and I'm more relaxed now. He does get stuff done in his own way (has never missed mine or kids birthdays or important stuff for them).
Here comes the issue.
We are now late. ALL THE TIME. Well, for anything DH organises (because he doesn't think about what needs doing before we leave, factor in travel time with toilet stops for the kids etc) and PIL are getting pretty pissed off about it. I don't blame them. We are frequently 1+ hour late. It doesn't happen with stuff I organise as I factor in time for all that stuff. They are starting to get a bit shirty and FIL in particular seems to think it's my fault (I'm not sure why). WIBU to tell them when they mention it when we eventually arrive today that it's DHs fault and why?