I had a crush on him in high school, but he was in the year above me and we never spoke.
Years later, I came across him on tinder and we matched! He seemed so nice. Not a jerk kind of guy, more quiet and surprisingly funny once we started talking. We had SO much in common that he made a joke about us eloping together, and asked me out for a drink Saturday night. We live super close too.
He showed all good signs that he liked me. Turned up on time, sitting close together, a bit of hand touching, laughing so much together and a kiss at the end. We'd spoken about things we want to do together next like a ghost tour, with him saying he'd act scared so he'd get to hold onto me this time.
But after the first date his texting really dyed out, I knew he was busy so didn't worry too much. But after a few days when I asked about his availability for the second date, he said he didn't know when he'd be free cause he has so much to do... Again I was understanding as he's on a stressful placement right now so I told him I understand and it's ok, thinking he'd get back to me about it.... Then that evening, I just had a sense something was off. I looked at his Tinder profile and saw he'd updated his bio that evening.
I messaged him to ask about it, he'd defensive saying "So I can't talk to other girls now?" and telling me we're not together. I never once thought we were now in a relationship but we had such a close connection and here I was sat waiting on his reply for the second date, and he's off looking for someone new. I hate this about modern dating, where no one cares anymore cause who else is just on the next swipe?
I did not expect this from him and it crushed me. I've been in tears for about 2 days now over it. We've stopped talking. He's claiming he's not looking for someone else but also that 'plenty of people are dating multiple people at once'. Yet he never mentioned any of this to me in advance if that's what he's doing.
I just want to settle down, it sounds crazy but I felt he was the one? The amount we had in common was unreal and I felt it was just so perfect that night with him. Is it really never enough if there's a hotter girl he could find online?
He lives just up the street, should I ask to talk in person? I'm struggling to get over him even though this really hurt me that he's looking on tinder instead of focusing on seeing me again (since he's so busy and that's how he's spending his time..)