What reasons would there be for a father not being allowed access?

[Drogosnextwife]

I have a friend who is in a relationship with a man who has a child he claims he isn't allowed to see. Apparently the child's mother won't allow access, yet he pays quite a large amount of child maintenance every month. He also claims this has been through the courts and the mother "got her way".
My question is, could this be the case? Or is my friend being taken for a mug?
Side note: This guy has been caught lying quite a few times so I'm thinking this story is lies aswell.

@OwlBeThere they are far more on top of that for the most part these days

loooosir

I do accept that that there are crap male parents out there.

But I have also seen the otherside of this where the RP does everything to stop the NRP having a relationship with their children.

But I honestly feel that saying 'I would do X, Y, and Z' is helpful.
Especially when we don't know what he has done and the OP clearly hates the man.

Either he's done something really awful or he wasn't prepared to fight for access. Either way he doesn't sound like a great dad.

My daughters dad and partner got attacked in there home (where DD had slept the night before) with weapons hospitalising both over a drug debt. I got told of SS not him or his family, I was in hospital with my oldest DD who had appendicitis. Younger DD was back over her dads as I didn't know anything had happened. My dad had to go and remove her.

This was 5 years ago she knows in an age appropriate way but she did disclosed some abuse 2 years ago. We moved purposely for her safety and he still found us. He managed to tip my normally placid DH over the edge and got a good hiding. The police after reading up on the history declined to press charges against DH.

He still tells everyone I'm the bitter ex refusing contact. When she's 18 she can make her own mind up but will be told the full facts till then it's my job to keep her safe.

I realise it could just be the childs mother not allowing him contact. The fact that they apparently went to court, and this woman actually contacted my friend to get in touch with him, makes me think there is more too it.
I don't think it would have been related to abuse. They have been together for around 8 years, and she has never given me any reason to think he has been physically abusive towards her and their child, but then you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors, or what has happened in a previous life.
I don't like this man because of the way I've heard him speaking to my friend, (once on speaker phone in the car when he didn't realise I was there) also, everyone in our friendship group has had experience of him telling lies and catching him out. I do struggle to believe a word that comes out his mouth, even if it is the truth its usually fabricated.

My brother tells people that his ex wont let him see his kids. The reality is that she wont let him turn up as and when it suits him to do so.

My partner’s ex stopped him seeing his son whenever she was annoyed with him about anything. He took her to court and got court ordered access, his ex tried to claim DV but had no proof, in fact she was the perpetrator of the DV in their relationship. The court saw through the lies, and DSS’s social worker was satisfied that his emotional well-being was much improved by having regular access with his father. His mother will always be a pain, but the court order keeps her in her box. It has cost thousands to sort out unfortunately but he couldn’t just abandon his son.

The story from your friend’s DP sounds sketchy imo. Sounds like he can’t be bothered.

My ex used to say he was stopped seeing the kids when infact he couldnt be bothered. It got him sympathy and meant in his eyes he didn't have to do anything.
Its pretty common unfortunately.
I wouldnt date any man that didn't see his child, cant see the attraction.

He could be just a lazy dad. It's much easier to blame the other women than to be a parent.

It needs to be very serious to not allowed contact. Even the most serious they need supervised contact.

I have been through the court process as a grandparent carer and do believe me, it is nearly impossible to have a no contact order. The truth is either that he did not want contact or that something truly bad has happened and it must be really bad.

My gs1's father got eow contact when he was very violent and had been offending since he was 13. Cafcass called it youthful indiscretion. He even tried to drive home from a court hearing twice the legal limit down the motorway. Again, it was said that this was commonplace. What if gs was in the car fgs?

He got his contact. Within six months, he had committed two offences. One when he assaulted a disabled man. The second he put the victim in intensive care for 10 days and was found guilty. When we refused to send our gs, he took us back to court for contempt.

What happened was that contact moved from supervised to unsupervised and on and on with the grind of continual, soul destroying hearings when you would have to start afresh with a new judge. He continued because he could, because at the time there was legal aid. Once this dried up, so did the court applications.

So, op it is one or the other. The question is which is the worst. Listen to the replies on this thread from those with experience.

My DSC's mother is not allowed to see her youngest but she still has her other children living with her as per court order. It's not always what your imagination thinks!

My ex used to say he was stopped seeing the kids when infact he couldnt be bothered. It got him sympathy and meant in his eyes he didn't have to do anything.
Its pretty common unfortunately.

Oh I know all too well. My eldest bio father has never taken anything to do with him. He could be telling people anything about me. The truth is I gave him chances when ds was younger, he never too me up on the offers and now I'm glad.
Would love to know what he was telling the new girlfriend about me, and I would love to put her straight.

My ex used to claim that he wasn't allowed to see DD but the truth was that he just didn't want to go to supervised visitation (he claimed by going to that, he would be abusing his own rights or some such nonsense). He even took me to court and got unsupervised contact awarded and then still didn't bother to show up, he didn't even show up to court and they awarded it anyway. He was severely mentally ill though (which was why I, and DD's social workers, insisted on supervised contact only) so probably he believed that he wasn't allowed to see her.

Will never understand men like that @Drogosnextwife.

He’s either done some awful, is a terrible person, is a liar and wants to save face or possibly he did have access (through the court or otherwise) but didn’t bother with it.

Does your friend have a child? If he was a registered sex offender then there might have been a requirement that she knew about his past when they got together or when children became involved. If he was abusive to his child’s mother, I’d be really surprised if your friend hasn’t seen that side to him already.

@PinkCrayon
Yes it's sad, but in my situation my ds is much better off without him.

She does have a child. I really don't think there has been any abuse.
I understand that sometimes women keep their children from the bio dad, believe me I would do everything in my power to stop the waster I was landed with from being in contact with my ds. The thing that really niggles at me is that this woman was clearly trying to contact him begore she finally gave in and contacted my friend. She wasn't cheeky, she wasn't rude, just a simple text asking her to get him to get in touch.