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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To admit defeat and accept my dog is never going to be safe around other dogs?

62 replies

ThornsWithin · 09/10/2019 14:07

Got my dog at 8 weeks old. I tried to do all the right things in terms of socialisation etc and took her to puppy play sessions as soon as she was able. Instantly it was noted that she was a rough player. The other pups were scared of her. By the time she was 14 weeks old she was thrown out and banned from the group after picking a pup up by its throat and shaking it.
So I moved her into junior play sessions with the big dogs. She was the same there, constantly wanting to fight. She spent more time in time out than actually playing.
I recently booked her into day school one day a week. Every time I pick her up the report card is full of “rough play” “time out” “biting” etc.

Last week they told me she keeps picking on a Labrador. I’ve seen this dog and it has a huge bum. My dog is apparently wrestling it to the ground constantly and biting its face and neck.

Last night I picked her up and they told me I’d have to change the days I take her so that it doesn’t coincide with when big bum is there.

Last weekend she brought down a fully grown Doberman and stood over it growling in its face. She’s at advanced training classes but the socialisation side of it is becoming a no no as nobody wants their dog near her.

Are some dogs just NOT dog friendly no matter what you do??

OP posts:
ThornsWithin · 09/10/2019 14:09

Just to add the play groups are run by dog trainers, one of which specialises in aggression and even he can’t do anything with her. With people she’s fine.

OP posts:
MsMustDoBetter · 09/10/2019 14:11

Sorry, but I'm crying laughing at the big bum.

Sounds as if she needs to be socialised in a lead until she calms down a bit (age/maturity).

Poor big bum.

RasberryRoyale · 09/10/2019 14:14

You need a good behaviourist. I have a dog who has been attacked and isn’t keen on unfamiliar dogs in her face as a result. We are working on it with a behaviourist and while she isn’t perfect, she’s improving in little steps.

How old is your dog? What breed is she?

Lockheart · 09/10/2019 14:14

Perhaps try another trainer who does nothing but deal with dog-reactive dogs (I know you said a trainer at play group specialises, but it might be worth going to someone who does nothing but).

If she's fine with people and other animals it sounds unlikely to be a medical issue, but it might be worth consulting a vet anyway. Perhaps spaying might help, if she's not already?

In the meantime I'd keep her securely leashed and away from other dogs as far as possible.

Rosehip10 · 09/10/2019 14:15

A bull type terrier of some sort OP?

Dacquoise · 09/10/2019 14:18

Have you thought about using a muzzle when she is out to prevent her attacking other dogs? And keep going with the socialisation on your walks warning other owners that she's being trained. Rewards when she does well. Make her sit/stay when she gets out of hand. Avoiding other dogs will just make the problem worse. Dogs do go through a puppy/adolescent stage but usually calm down at around 18 months.

ThornsWithin · 09/10/2019 14:20

She’s a Doberman. She’s just not happy unless she’s fighting. I’m in touch with other people who got dogs from the same litter and none are as bad as her. The vet said she’s highly dominant and always will be.

OP posts:
BaldricksWife · 09/10/2019 14:21

I have a terrier like this, great chap with the kids but awful with other dogs and more aggressive when on the lead. I just keep him away from other canines now as in 11 years he has not improved. Seems to be quite happy just with human company though.

Jollitwiglet · 09/10/2019 14:22

Is she fighting or playing roughly? You say she is biting, but is she biting to draw blood or biting in play?

sonjadog · 09/10/2019 14:23

I have to say that my experience has been that there isn't much you can do about it apart from limit the consequences of her behaviour. You can spend a lot of money and time on behavourists and maybe things will improve slightly, but not a huge amount. I

ThornsWithin · 09/10/2019 14:28

She bites hard ... she is playing, full on play bows etc and will stop for a drink but she’s so full on and hurts the other dogs

OP posts:
ElizaDee · 09/10/2019 14:34

Could you find a socialisation class? After my dog was attacked we went to one where all the dogs were muzzled and let free in a field. All the owners walked round and round and the dogs fell in and all taught each other dog manners in a controlled environment.

ElizaDee · 09/10/2019 14:35

Also, have you done soft mouth training with her?

Dahlietta · 09/10/2019 14:37

Last week they told me she keeps picking on a Labrador. I’ve seen this dog and it has a huge bum.

Nice bit of victim blaming there, OP Grin

RadicalFern · 09/10/2019 14:40

My friend's dog is like this - she plays really hard (and isn't very good at picking up cues from other dogs). This is a bit different from actual aggression though, as both she and your dog think they are playing, rather than going to hurt other dogs. My friend's dog is definitely getting better over time, so don't give up hope!

Windydaysuponus · 09/10/2019 14:47

Ime keep trying to resolve this. My rottweiler is 10 and her dominance changed to aggression and she is tb Frank, bloody awful out of our house.
I gave up on classes due to embarrassment, then later her sheer size became a problem. Only take her out with dh now. And it's my fault not hers I know.. Big ddog, big problem - don't give up op.
I have an array of ddog books if you live NE? You may do better then me with them.

reasonablesettlement · 09/10/2019 14:54

We had this problem with a doberman. Fine with us, terrible when meeting other dogs or motor bikes (FFS!). We tried everything including extensive 1-2-1 training with police dog handler. Nothing worked. We believed it was because he felt the need to protect us. Then one day one of us walked into the kitchen and he went for them. He bit through to the bone before he could be pulled off. We are very experienced dog owners and did not see that coming. Please be careful. He was a very loved dog, but we could not keep him at home. Thankfully, he went to the military to train with them.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/10/2019 14:54

I think you should muzzle her for walks now and find a trainer, who specialises in training dominant dogs. The class Eliza describes sounds fab.

BoomyBooms · 09/10/2019 14:56

My dogs attitude to other dogs completely changed as soon as he went through puberty. We got help, and as a result of that he will now happily ignore other dogs and walk nicely past, he will even walk away from them nicely if they approach him (and he's with me and on the lead). But he will just never want to play with other dogs, and he will always have a short fuse for bouncy excitable dogs. We just manage it. He has lovely walks running and wriggling through the fields and plenty of fuss at home, I don't think he needs any dog friends if he doesn't want them!

Itsjustmee · 09/10/2019 14:56

Lol my dog if it was human at 8 weeks old would have had an ABSO on her
She also wasn’t allowed free play at training classes
At eight weeks she tried to attack a small pug when she was sat on my lap
She was ok with the dog she lived with but every other dog was fair game as far as she was concerned.
We got her the best she could be in that she walked well on the lead and ignored most dogs. But we did have a proper Hannibal lecture style muzzle on her when we took out

Marshmallow91 · 09/10/2019 15:00

My staffy is the loveliest, friendliest, most cuddly affectionate dog you'll ever meet. He isn't territorial with food, treats or toys and is simply amazing with our eight month old who is currently learning where and where not to touch him (telling her to pet him nice, not pull ears or stick hands in his mouth etc) and all he ever does is give her a lick, and actively seeks her out to give her tiny gentle cuddles.

You put another dog on the path passing our garden, you'd swear it couldn't be the case. He will run at them, snarl, snap and growl aggressively trying to get to the other. It doesn't matter the size of the dog or its temperament.

He's eight years old and a rescue, he spent the first 8 months of his life in a kennel (put in at eight weeks) until my partner rescued him. No amount of socialising or training will help him, and he's permanently scared of doors creaking, wind howling and belts being taken off, despite intensive love and affection. We've never hit him, let alone with a belt so we've no idea why after eight years he still runs to his bed when I'm taking it off my partners trousers to wash etc - but all we can surmise is that his life before we got him must have been very lonely and scary.

He's my baby, and I love him. I'd recommend trying one on one training, but if that doesn't work its certainly not the end of the world.

Itsjustmee · 09/10/2019 15:01

Also my dog was much bigger than a Doberman
Honest OP some dogs are just have an aggressive and Dominant nature

keo8260 · 09/10/2019 15:02

What was the ratio of male pups to female pups in the litter? And is she neutered? If there are more males to females then the females can be more aggressive due to being exposed to more make hormones in utero, we had a female labrador like this and she was from a litter with a high ratio of male pups. We were also advised by the vet not to neuter as that would remove more female hormones possibly making her aggression worse.

BMW6 · 09/10/2019 15:02

You need to protect other dogs and people as an absolute priority and keep it muzzled when out.
There is nothing remotely "Lol" about this situation.

Ariadnepersephonecloud · 09/10/2019 15:07

I also have a terrier like this and have been able to do nothing with him. He's 11 now, nearly 12 and still as bad as he's ever been.