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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder what this woman was doing in a baby changing room?

98 replies

RoyalChocolat · 09/10/2019 10:23

This happened in a shopping center in France. There is a large baby changing room with a small toilet for toddlers. 9mo DD chose to do a poonami while we were shopping, so I took her there. The door was locked. I waited. And waited. And waited, while the poo was soaking through DD's clothes.

After 5 or 6 minutes, I heard the toilet flush. Then the door opened and a woman in her early 50s appeared, on her own. She gave me a contemptuous look and walked away.

The toilet for disabled people was about a metre away and it was free all the time. There were half a dozen free cubicles nearby.

Is there some sort of weird fetish I am not aware of? A medical problem that means you would need to use a toilet designed for nursery children?

OP posts:

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/10/2019 12:57

my local ASDA has wedged 3 toilet cubicles into their toilets meaning every cubicle is very very small.

Same at our ASDA!

Even the disabled toilet is tiny. (Though it has bars to hold onto and pull yourself up with.)

Brefugee · 09/10/2019 12:58

Unless it's a breastfeeding woman in there. This is a very different outcome to that thread.

haha - was going to say the same thing

BarbaraofSeville · 09/10/2019 13:02

^She's French.

Personal entitlement is wired into their DNA^

Careful, let's not be Xenophobic as well as ageist .

I once posted that a French au pair may prefer a cooked lunch when the OP thought she should make do with a sandwich, and was informed in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable to make such an assumption based on her nationality.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 09/10/2019 13:12

Mummyoflittledragon

Yep, Disney's songwriting team truly compromised on the French lyrics to make them fit to the tune. Lovely voice though.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/10/2019 13:30

Pardonnez-moi Barbara

Je suis désolée!

(That's the limit of my Fronseyz, but along with "Voulez-vous couchez avec moi, ce soi" (which I learned from a song), and "Deux bieres s'il vous plait", it has served me well.)

Rosamund589 · 09/10/2019 13:49

The disabled loo may have been occupied when she got there, and she needed access to a private sink as well as a toilet - maybe she has a bowel disease or a stoma.

Vodkasquirts · 09/10/2019 14:12

Jesus fffin christ gawd help you when you get to 50 sumat. And have to deal with everything that come's with that. Sometime very embarassing.
I'm that women at the moment.

calmalamadown · 09/10/2019 14:50

Fact: it takes six minutes to dismember and flush a body.

toomuchtooold · 09/10/2019 14:55

Whatever she was doing, if she managed to use one of those toddler toilets without pissing all over her ankles I take my hat off to her. I've gone in there once or twice with the kids and I swear to god it's impossible. They're about 4 inches off the ground and the bowl is about the size of an eggcup.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/10/2019 16:23

Fact: it takes six minutes to dismember and flush a body.

That must be with practice calmalamadown

My personal best is 8 mins 17 seconds, but tbf he was a big bloke.

BIWI · 09/10/2019 18:08

ALongHardWinter · 09/10/2019 18:39

I am disabled and I freely admit that I've used the toilet in a baby changing room when the disabled toilet was in use. I really couldn't wait so used the toilet in the baby change. Maybe this is what happened? Just because she may not have looked disabled,it doesn't mean she wasn't.

stupidboyman · 10/10/2019 09:21

Or needed to wash out her mooncup

Deadringer · 10/10/2019 09:30

It is a bit odd op, no doubt about that but your having to wait really isn't a big deal. If it had been a mum with a toddler or two you would have had to wait anyway.

makingmammaries · 10/10/2019 10:10

I live in France. It's quite common here to throw contemptuous looks at anyone who happens to be using the thing YOU want. Apologising for walking into the wrong place is not the preferred option for people of that mindset. No fetish necessary.

LaurieMarlow · 10/10/2019 13:30

As you aren’t madly invested in this house, then you don’t have a lot to lose.

LaurieMarlow · 10/10/2019 13:31

Sorry, wrong thread

TheGoogleMum · 10/10/2019 14:05

If she was in a long time she maybe just wanted a more private space? Annoying when waiting with a baby though!

QualCheckBot · 10/10/2019 14:45

The toilet for disabled people was about a metre away and it was free all the time. There were half a dozen free cubicles nearby.

She likely just didn't think. I do sometimes wonder about some people taking excessively long in a toilet when there is a queue waiting outside and they know this. On one occasion, before a Park Run, there was one toilet available for everyone to use and a man went in it just before me. At that point there were 20 minutes to go before the race start. By the time he emerged, there were 6 minutes to go and a queue of around 15 desperate people, most of whom would now be unable to go before the run started. He knew people were waiting but he was still in there for nearly 15 minutes. I found myself thinking all sorts of thoughts about what he was doing in there, I must admit.

The other scenario that generally attracts selfish, unthinking people is where you do a running race which has hired portaloos in to cope with the number of runners. I can guarantee that 5 minutes before the start, they will be occupied by people in non-running gear who aren't actually running (and who hence haven't paid for their use) while a queue of desperate runners waits outside.

PARunnerGirl · 10/10/2019 14:47

Oh @BrokenWing I just HATE when parents do that! They use their child as a way of either passive aggressively saying something to another adult that they don’t have the balls to say to them directly, or as some sort of a crutch or tool to ask another adult something.

“No, wait a minute George, we’ll just need to wait for this lady to move out our way”

“I know you’re bursting for the toilet Annabelle, maybe this lady would let us jump in front of her in the queue”

Teddybear45 · 10/10/2019 14:51

I have serious IBS and can’t control my bowel movements at times so would be using the first toilet I see - have often barged into the mens too by accident. Looking at me you wouldn’t think I had a problem either

WalkersAreNotTheOnlyCrisps · 10/10/2019 15:16

Someone did that recently on the flight back from holiday, PARunnerGirl.
My 14 year old daughter was in the row behind us, seated next to the window. A mother and daughter got on, (the daughter was about 8).
They boarded last and were seated next to my daughter. The girl threw her head back, folded her arms and began absolutely wailing. Rather than tell her to sit down her mum started saying "Oh darling I know you wanted to sit next to the window but someone is sitting there! Oh dear, maybe next time..".
I was quietly seething when my daughter quickly got up and let her sit there.
She then proceeded to drink a gallon of apple juice and needed to use the loo about 5 times.

PARunnerGirl · 10/10/2019 16:35

@WalkersAreNotTheOnlyCrisps

In that scenario, the mum likely knows she’s not getting a window seat before boarding because of her seat number. So it’s either a stern talking to the daughter before boarding to warn of this fact and that there’s to be no dramatics, or you ask the person on the window seat if they’d mind moving. I know which one I’d be doing!

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