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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what this woman was doing in a baby changing room?

98 replies

RoyalChocolat · 09/10/2019 10:23

This happened in a shopping center in France. There is a large baby changing room with a small toilet for toddlers. 9mo DD chose to do a poonami while we were shopping, so I took her there. The door was locked. I waited. And waited. And waited, while the poo was soaking through DD's clothes.

After 5 or 6 minutes, I heard the toilet flush. Then the door opened and a woman in her early 50s appeared, on her own. She gave me a contemptuous look and walked away.

The toilet for disabled people was about a metre away and it was free all the time. There were half a dozen free cubicles nearby.

Is there some sort of weird fetish I am not aware of? A medical problem that means you would need to use a toilet designed for nursery children?

OP posts:
underground76 · 09/10/2019 10:49

Bloody hell, OP, it's quite a leap from 'woman uses wrong toilet' to 'woman must have weird fetish'. I wouldn't like to live in your head Confused

There are a million reasons why she might have used the wrong loo. The disabled toilet might have been occupied when she arrived, or it might have been blocked or dirty, or maybe she was desperate and ran into the first loo she saw, or maybe she didn't even notice the baby change sign on the door. Maybe she's just inconsiderate. I can't believe you're dwelling on this, to be honest. Having to wait a few minutes to change a baby is hardly the end of the world.

Gilead · 09/10/2019 10:50

Just to point out that cubicles don't have sinks etc. It's entirely possible she had a stoma bag, or that she needed to wash and change, and as others have said, the disabled loo may well have been occupied when she got there. I have done exactly this at my local Tesco store for the above reasons.

Pitterpatterpettysteps · 09/10/2019 10:52

I remember once getting off a 10-hour flight at a middle eastern airport with a baby who desperately needed a nappy change. I waited for about 10 minutes for the door to the only disabled/baby change toilet to finally open - only for about 6 heavily made-up Japanese teenagers to emerge from the cubical... Seriously annoying

BlockedandDeleted · 09/10/2019 10:54

Jesus, melodramatic much?
The full story is, you had to wait a few minutes for a public loo to be available.

the poo was soaking through DD's clothes
Buy better nappies

She gave me a contemptuous look and walked away.
Was that to respond to the evils you were shooting at her by chance? Did you wave your shit stained baby in her face too?

Is there some sort of weird fetish I am not aware of
I think that your mind even went there says a lot about you...

A medical problem that means you would need to use a toilet designed for nursery children?

Yes, lots of people do have many legitimate reasons that require extra space in a loo, maybe the other one was occupied when she arrived. It's none of your business.

As for designed for nursery children bullshit, do you think you are legally entitled to that space? Do you feel having a child entitles you to special treatment?

It may well have been designed so children can be changed there but it's not a protected space.

lily2403 · 09/10/2019 10:54

The toilet was a toddler toilet...that's uncomfortable for an adult to use.

I wouldn't have been amused at her using the baby changing facilities when she didn't have a baby

BIWI · 09/10/2019 10:54

Hmm. I'm sorry, but your baby will often have to wait more than 5 or 6 minutes to be changed! You can find yourself in all kind of circumstances where you can't change them immediately.

But yes, you are being weird to assume that because someone else was in the 'wrong' toilet ahead of you that they have some kind of fetish Hmm

LoseLooseLucy · 09/10/2019 10:56

Annoying for you, yes, but FETISH. What in the world?!

bloodywhitecat · 09/10/2019 10:56

It could be she had a stoma bag that needed changing and needed somewhere to lay out the equipment.

BarbaraofSeville · 09/10/2019 10:57

But but but, they might have all had to help each other with cleaning up after periods or medical appliances Pitter Wink

I don't doubt that sometimes, some people have invisible issues as a reason why they might to be taking a long time, but sorry, a lot of the time, they're just selfish arses caring for no-one except themselves.

BIWI · 09/10/2019 11:02

She may well have been very selfish, but that's a long way off from having a fetish! Grin

Ninkaninus · 09/10/2019 11:03

What an odd conclusion to come to. You have some weird ideas.

Gilead · 09/10/2019 11:06

Lily did you read my post?

Jimjamjong · 09/10/2019 11:08

What she petite or rather tall?
I think it is quite simple, she doesn't sit on the toilet but squats over it and it is easier to do that over a smaller toilet. She is probably just a CF, but who knows.

Jimjamjong · 09/10/2019 11:08

was not what

NightOwl27 · 09/10/2019 11:13

She could also have had a catheter. There's a Youtuber called Amy Lee Fisher who gives surprising insights on how common hidden disabilities are. People spending ages in toilets also used to annoy me but I'm quite ashamed to realise I was judging things from an able-bodied person's perspective.

Another possibility is that she has a germ phobia/MH issues and disabled or baby changing toilets are statistically a lot cleaner since they get used less frequently. I have an irrational fear of norovirus so using hospital toilets is extremely difficult. During the final part of my pregnancy I found one distant disabled toilet in the hospital that was always empty and clean.

Basecamp65 · 09/10/2019 11:19

Wait until you are post menopausal - sometimes I am so desperate I would not care if it was the men's or even a broom cupboard!!!

Being serious as well as the many valid reasons others have given - too many disabled loos do not have nappy bins just sanitary products bins - you cannot get a full incontinence pad in those - you need a big bin for incontinence products.

Cryalot2 · 09/10/2019 11:20

It is possible she could have ibs and that was the first empty toilet she saw. If you have this time is essential and every second counts. Or she may have not realised.
It is strange you think anything untoward. You could have asked her, if it troubled you so much.

DaveTheGhost · 09/10/2019 11:20

She may have been desperate and there was no one else. I highly doubt it’s a fetish.

stupidboyman · 09/10/2019 11:23

She was probably just doing her make up and wanted a mirror and no one around. Don't get annoyed by little things. Not because she might have been disabled but because we should all be more considerate to each other. 5 minutes is really not very long.

NorthBich · 09/10/2019 11:23

I'm waiting for a 'strange woman waited 2 feet outside of the toilet, stared me down when I walked out and muttered something about toilet fetishes' thread.

BarbaraofSeville · 09/10/2019 11:27

5 minutes is really not very long

It bloody is if you're waiting outside bursting or need to be somewhere, or have a screaming baby.

Don't forget that the people waiting outside might have issues too. Obviously some people have medical reasons to take a long time, but not all of them do, far from it.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 09/10/2019 11:34

She gave me a contemptuous look and walked away.

OP, I'm pretty sure you weren't standing there looking benevolent. She glared back.

Let it go. Twirl around outside with DD, feeling the last of the summer sunlight on your skin.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 09/10/2019 11:35

French version seems appropriate:

LoseLooseLucy · 09/10/2019 11:39

She was probably just doing her make up and wanted a mirror and no one around.

That just makes her ignorant if she's taken 5 minutes.

5 minutes is really not very long.

It is to be squirming about in a shitty nappy.

ImNotYourGranny · 09/10/2019 11:40

Given the time it took, I expect she just wanted to poo and not deal with the embarrassment of someone waiting to use the toilet after her. So you ruined her plan, hence the glare.