AIBU to not want to pay £5k for a school trip?

[Lincspeeps]

In short, DD's school are running a trip to South Africa in 2021 - safari, time in Madagascar, trekking, social responsibility work etc.

Problem is, its £4.5k plus spends and optional extras - the safari being one. So, with insurance, visas, inoculations etc it'll be five grand and more.

DD's three best friends are all going and we, at a massive stretch, could probably afford it BUT in reading where they stay etc it just seems like such a rip off. I want her to do something exciting but £5k just seems a ridiculous amount.

She's not spoiled and completely understands the value of money but she'll be devastated if she can't go and I'll feel like a demon by preventing her (she's 15 now, will be almost 17 when trip takes place). I just feel that £5k could be spent in a much better way where travel is concerned - I'm sure you can buy a round the world plane tickets for a couple of grand, for example!!

Help...…..

Round here the kids do fundraising for their experience trip.
Car washing
Packing bags in the supermarket
Refreshments at various events
Tombolas
Cake stands
Lawn mowing

That should read 2000 MILES from South Africa. Bit far FOR an additional trip.

Please get an edit button mumsnet!!!

Oh the irony. 5K on a trip to Africa to 'help' the disadvantaged'. Involve you DD in genuinely actually helping disadvantaged people locally- there are far too many opportunities for this, sadly in some ways. Take a holiday you can afford for the whole family instead. This is ridiculous.

t's 4K and I have 2 children who want to go!

And this is why its irresponsible of schools to do this. They let companies sell a hyped up aspirational dream on the promise that it can be paid for through "fund raising" knowing that most of the funds are directly from parents or indirectly as family members feel obliged to sponsor them.

The only real beneficiaries are the rather profitable companies flogging the trips.

These were less common when my kids were at school but the school declined to participate in this schemes (they were offered a cut and also got the hard sell of it all being charidee for the poor brown people). The then head was savvy enough to do the research on some of the 'volunteering' and didn't want the school associated with it.

Some of the worst examples were horribly exploitative, the best were just valueless to the local community.

They stuck with more conventional school trips, including outward bound and adventure trips but never anything like that prices quoted here and no virtue signalling component.

I would not allow her to go. That is a ridiculous extravagant trip.

I also have issues with the "social responsibility" drivel- what would be wrong with volunteering at a food bank or care home in the UK if they want to do social responsibility?

Outrageous price.
Consider workaway
You can volunteer in return for board and lodging.
I’ve had loads of young people helping me at my place in
She can still have a partime job after her GCSEs and pay for her travel, and have a completely different experience.

Nothing at all wrong with that, Unoriginal but I think the youngsters see these trips as rather exciting - or some do anyway. I said earlier I'd have hated it but that's just me.

Interesting what someone above said about their child's school not doing such things, my son's school didn't either. They had outdoor pursuits and visits to France, that sort of thing. There were a couple of holidays, Kilimanjaro and somewhere skiing, for sixth formers, a few went on those. No Raleigh International though (they might do it now, I don't know).

Some people I know had children who went with Raleigh International and seemed to get a lot out of it, I remember one went to Belize. They considered it the adventure of a life time.

Each to their own.

Some people I know had children who went with Raleigh International

Yes Raleigh is a bit different - its the kind of thing I'd include in the adventure trips which the school did do. The difference was thath the costings were clear, the model and objectives were clear, it wasn't an overpriced package holiday wrapped up in virtue signalling. Its from a 40 year running programme and I think its still overseen by VSO.

When mine were at school it was quite competitive to get into and teams were a mix of ages from different places. It was a different beast from the current gap year/voluntourism industry.

I would never let my teens go on a trip like this purely on the grounds that the social responsibility part will not be in the slightest bit helpful to the recipients and probably harmful.

You should only volunteer overseas if you have skills local people don't have. This does not include taking away local building jobs or cuddling orphans.
(I have volunteered - as a science teacher - and worked - training people in skills I have and are rare overseas - in developing countries).

Very interesting about the kids who’ve done these kind of trips and have “fundraised it all themselves” - what am I missing here? What makes this a trip that other people should be funding?? Is it because there’s a social responsibility element, whatever that consists of? It doesn’t sound like they’re actually being sponsored for attempting something, like a climb/hike or whatever, is that right? I can’t quite get my head round it.

I hope my children never come home with such a request! I'd be furious at the school for organising something like that and for putting the many families who can't afford it in that situation. Money aside, have they considered the safety issues?

I think the school is totally unreasonable in offering this trip.

Even if it is private school or very well off area it's still unreasonable.

@Laquila
Very interesting about the kids who’ve done these kind of trips and have “fundraised it all themselves” - what am I missing here? What makes this a trip that other people should be funding?? Is it because there’s a social responsibility element, whatever that consists of? It doesn’t sound like they’re actually being sponsored for attempting something, like a climb/hike or whatever, is that right? I can’t quite get my head round it.

Because people are getting their knickers in a twist about parents paying for it, but the whole idea is the teen pays for it. It is a massive team building exercise with 15-20 other students spread across 2 year groups that you probably aren't already friends with. It is a big amount of money for a mid teen to earn and save and it is an achievement when you have done so. You can get donations, not sponsorship for any work element carried out, we did some useful and hard work and some educational stuff. We also did a huge trek in the bush and learned so much about other cultures, about budgeting, independence. The list goes on.

I get that raspberry but it’s not going to charity it’s going towards sending a teen on holiday with a for profit company. Why would anyone support that?

No
Just no !

YANBU. School trips at 5k and other schoolkids being fed from foodbanks. Shocking. Bit of social concern closer to home wouldn't go amiss. She won't be devastated, she'll be upset, maybe miffed. She'll get over it.

I really really really wanted to do this at DD's age. However, it was so popular, there was a ballot to even be eligible to take part and I didn't win. (My parents must have been so relieved.)

I remember feeling excluded because all of my friends went on this and I wasn't allowed to. That was pretty shit. It also gave them some good material for their UCAS statement.

As an adult though, looking back, the cost was ridiculous. Fundraising for a holiday was ridiculous. And now that I understand what voluntourism is, that's also ridiculous.

In the same way I'm glad my DM refused to let me buy one of those hideous shell suits the trendy kids were wearing in the 90s, I'm glad (with hindsight) I wasn't a part of this voluntourism adventure. I wanted it as a child, but it goes against what I believe now as a grown up.

YANBU.

Might sting a little bit initially, but that feeling doesn't last forever. If she's 15, encourage her to do D of E and/or volunteer locally instead. She'll get more out of it and it'll cost you a whole lot less.

I would get your dd to research how much it would cost her to replicate the trip including the safari and any other extras.

Also to look at some of the organised tours for young adults that are not charity/volunteering based.

Also to just research where else she could go for £5k - from Antarctica to the amazon - bet there are some amazing journeys that she could do with that sort of money.

Ds’s school did a world challenge trip to outer Mongolia amongst other nearby places last year. I was trying to get hold of dc’s tutor without realising he was leading the group so when I asked to speak to him and they said he was in Outer Mongolia I thought they were joking and thought that they meant the furthest reaches of the campus or that he has really pissed somebody off or he was really hacked off by something at the school... to which the rather snotty reply from the receptionist was that no, he is actually in actual Outer Mongolia so no I couldn’t speak to him but would need to wait until next term

Anyhow I would challenge her to come up with 5 other trips that cost £5k (including 1 diy replica/ish of the school’s trip and 1 non-charity replica to a similar destination) and 5 other amazing trips she could do for a month that cost £1-3k - just to get her to see there are loads of other options out there that she might prefer.

If she was to get even just a Saturday job when she turns 16 and work a normal 7.5 hour shift, she would be able to come up with half the money for the trip. She's 16 next year isn't she? Then will be 16 for almost a year by the time of the trip? So almost of a year of working a Saturday job should get her to come up with half the money and you pay the other half.

The only thing that would bother me about this is, she could have a car for £5k really rather than the trip.

I would give her the option. Get a Saturday job/part time job 2 evenings a week once she's 16 and earn half the money and you'll pay half or don't get a job and don't go.

We aren't talking about a girls weekend away to Barcelona here that might cost about £1,500. This is £5k at least... for one holiday really

Social responsibility is utter utter white saviour bollocks. That alone would stop me ever sending my child on a trip. If there is work that needs doing it can be given to local people who need work. Not to incredibly over privileged children from another country. Please Google voluntorism and read the many many reports from experts explaining how damaging it is.

I actually think it is genuinely disgusting to encourage a desire in teens to do a trip like this.

Five grand is a life changing amount at that age. They could travel for months in a more low key way or set themselves up for uni etc. And we have a fricking climate emergency. I thought young people were supposed to care about global warming ????

And for the person who mentioned UCAS. Universities have absolutely no respect for or interest in this sort of privileged crap

I can guarantee that any form of voluntorism would count against a student on a UCAS form. It would look better to work or volunteer in the UK

Just for cost context, I did 27 days in Kenya and Tanzania for around 3k. That included: all food/non alcoholic drink, transport/flights, accommodation, 3 different safaris (4 if you count the walking safari as well), a stay in a Masai village, multiple cultural visits and 3 days in an all inclusive resort on Zanzibar.

5k is a life changing amount at any age to some people.
Ridiculous for the school to even think about it.
There must be people working in the school that only earn twice that amount in a whole year. Where do their children go to school?

but the whole idea is the teen pays for it.

The teen doesn't pay for it though. They expect other people to give up thier time and money to fund most of for them.
Blackmailing friends and relatives and anyone they vaguely know to attend and fork.out at these 'fundraisers'.

There are plenty things they could do in their own areas to help people, the environment or thier community in general.