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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not want to pay £5k for a school trip?

455 replies

Lincspeeps · 08/10/2019 14:54

In short, DD's school are running a trip to South Africa in 2021 - safari, time in Madagascar, trekking, social responsibility work etc.

Problem is, its £4.5k plus spends and optional extras - the safari being one. So, with insurance, visas, inoculations etc it'll be five grand and more.

DD's three best friends are all going and we, at a massive stretch, could probably afford it BUT in reading where they stay etc it just seems like such a rip off. I want her to do something exciting but £5k just seems a ridiculous amount.

She's not spoiled and completely understands the value of money but she'll be devastated if she can't go and I'll feel like a demon by preventing her (she's 15 now, will be almost 17 when trip takes place). I just feel that £5k could be spent in a much better way where travel is concerned - I'm sure you can buy a round the world plane tickets for a couple of grand, for example!!

Help...…..

OP posts:
YouSirOweMeOneNewHat · 08/10/2019 15:21

As per @Linning s post.

OP, before you even think about the extortionate amount they're asking check South Africa on gov.uk

High level of crime including rape and murder (most of which tend to occur away from the normal tourist destinations - townships), armed robberies in tourist destinations, people being followed from airports to destinations and being robbed at gunpoint.

You couldn't pay me 5k to send my DD someone so volatile.

sarahjconnor · 08/10/2019 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouSirOweMeOneNewHat · 08/10/2019 15:24

I've just looked through the gov page for South Africa.

I cannot believe the school think that's a good idea.

Sexnotgender · 08/10/2019 15:25

What exactly does your £5k get you? That’s a lot of money, how long is the trip?

I actually flew back from a month in South Africa yesterday. Flights were £600 each return to Johannesburg.

BeyondMyWits · 08/10/2019 15:26

Is it World Challenge? where the kids pay to go "conserve"? Only sign up if you are 100% certain they will go. Deadlines for payments have to be met, money is not refunded under pretty much any circumstance - and lets face it how many kids are best friends with the same people after 2 years? What if they no longer want to go together?

PookieDo · 08/10/2019 15:26

Nope I wouldn’t. You are paying for insurance and the teachers/guides who attend with them which is why it is so expensive IME
Also hate this concept of volunteerism

beachandcocktails · 08/10/2019 15:26

Jesus. No, YANBU at all! My god, we've never even paid that for a family holiday. Even our wedding combined with a 2 week holiday abroad didn't cost that much!

I guess it's completely up to you, and down to your circumstances. For us that would be a flat no as we'd never be able to afford it. If you could afford it if she could maybe raise some of the cost herself, then maybe suggest that? But don't feel too guilty if it has to be a no - I very much doubt you would be the only ones.

JeansNTees · 08/10/2019 15:27

YANBU and after a colleague being held at knifepoint with his son for his wallet, I'd say not a bad trip to miss. My SA friends talk about how dangerous it is and how they don't feel like its safe enough to visit, and they lived there so teenagers who aren't used to it? No way.

PookieDo · 08/10/2019 15:27

I would rather (and am) investing in my 17yo learning to drive

BubblesBuddy · 08/10/2019 15:27

I think the number of DC on standard incomes are very low in number and their DC wouldn’t even ask to go. They would know they couldn’t.

It’s too expensive. The cost will include the cost of the staff going with them and that will be quite a high ratio. There are two countries being visited and that’s several flights so another expense.

This sort of trip is unnecessary and exorbitant. DD could volunteer at home if she’s wanting to go do something meaningful. Trekking and camping doesn’t do much for anyone. Explain to her that few will be going (that will be the position) and you feel, as a family, that the money could be better spent. It’s all a bit fake and not really doing much good at all.

Some of these trips expect that you raise the money yourself. Operation Raleigh DC do in my area. However what value it has to others is debatable. It’s all about the well off DC really.

BeyoncesBra · 08/10/2019 15:28

Notwithstanding the previous posters safety concerns, I think it could be a fantastic opportunity which would really support your DD to mature and open her eyes to all sorts of new experiences and broaden her world view. I presume part of the steep cost is due to the level of support / accompanying guides they would have (thinking about safety)- BUT I would definitely be asking for a full breakdown of the costs from the school. I would also want more detail over the the ethics of the project as pp's have mentioned.

I agree with pp about finding a way for your dd to contribute towards this in some way. Is there a cut off deadline to pay a deposit or something? Perhaps between now and then she could get some part-time work and you could sit down together and work out a plan of how much she could contribute each week?

Yes it's a LOT of money but you sound like you can afford it overall, especially if she contributes a bit, so it's more a question of whether you see the value in this as opposed to say, spending that money on a family holiday. I'd be tempted to think this trip would be something quite special and unique for her, different from family holidays (lovely as they can be) and potentially a life-changing experience.

Iloveacurry · 08/10/2019 15:28

No way. 5k is a ridiculous amount of money for a school trip. That’s equivalent to a very nice family holiday.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 08/10/2019 15:28

The fact that it doesn't even include a safari trip is insane. It's not a particularly safe place to be atm.

And I'll bet if you have dd 5k cash in her hand, the trip would not even factor on a list of things she would want to do with such a vast amount of money.

BubblesBuddy · 08/10/2019 15:30

South Africans talk about nothing else except security and personal safety. We have SA friends too and DDs both spent a term in a school there on student exchange.

It’s perfectly safe to visit on an organised trip. Just a bit meaningless.

MAFIL · 08/10/2019 15:31

I wouldn't even discuss it, the answer would be a straight no. That's a ridiculous waste of money. There is so much you could spend that amount on that would be far more beneficial in the long term. Your DD will be disappointed in the short term I am sure but it won't ruin her life. I was in a similar position at the same age when my Dad wouldn't let me go on a school trip that most of my friends were going on. He promised me that he would fund a similar trip for me after my A levels provided I organised it myself. I had actually completely forgotten by the time I was in Upper 6th but he hadn't and he stuck to his word. I think I got a lot more out of planning my trip and travelling independently than I would have done being ferried around by teachers. I am extremely selective about what trips my children go on with school - unless there is a very definite educational benefit then they don't go.

Bowerbird5 · 08/10/2019 15:32

So offer her half and if she wants to go she gets apart time job and earns the rest.

Is she your only one because otherwise I would spend it on a family holiday instead?

maddening · 08/10/2019 15:33

I wonder if it is factoring in the cost of the staff and their travel or does the school pay that?

BarbariansMum · 08/10/2019 15:34

At that age she could earn the money to pay for it (or at least half of it if you're feeling generous) if she's that desperate to go. I'd not dream of paying so much for a school trip though, so mine would be working for it or being "devestated".

SayOohLaLa · 08/10/2019 15:34

A secondary near us has a similar trip to Africa in the 6th form but students are expected to fund raise to make the cost of the trip, not just to expect parents to cough up. Can you approach the school and as kthem to do something similar. They could do car washes in the school car park at weekends, pack shopping bags in supermarkets etc.

Nonnymum · 08/10/2019 15:34

That's ridiculous and I dont think the school should be offering such a trip. Surely many families will find that impossible.

TerribleCustomerCervix · 08/10/2019 15:35

And I'll bet if you have dd 5k cash in her hand, the trip would not even factor on a list of things she would want to do with such a vast amount of money.

Good point.

5k at 17 would get her a decent runabout and her first years car insurance for example.

Original poster
Lincspeeps · 08/10/2019 15:39

No, it's not a private school but it is an academy.

When she told us about it I said, "wow that sounds like it will be expensive" and guessed at three grand. It's £4,550!

It's basically 10 days trekking, 7 days social responsibility, three days in Cape Town, 4 days in Madagascar and a three on safari. But the last two are additional extras - god know how much they'll be.

They are being encouraged to fundraise themselves but they have their GCSEs just before and I really don't want her to have the worry and distraction of fundraising on top of her studying.

OP posts:
Mintjulia · 08/10/2019 15:39

That’s ridiculous. Of no value to anyone except the staff who go along for free. Find a decent charity & volunteer at home.

TheOrigBrave · 08/10/2019 15:39

I am wondering what sort of life she has led so far which would mean she is devastated not to go on this trip.
And why would you feel like a demon?

5K is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on one young adult for a single trip (albeit a month long).

Straycatstrut · 08/10/2019 15:40

Pfff! Take her yourself and make a family holiday of it (or somewhere else!)